2 hours and twenty minutes of non-stop gunk guzzling madness from the no-nonsense Satanic porn freaks at Diabolic. Sounds boss, right? Even better, two of the goo gurglers are boner-fied superstars (at least on my sinister planet) – Ariana “Fist? Why don’t you just put yr whole arm in there?” Jollee, and Jasmine “Cutting off my circulation means you love me, right?” Lynn. I dunno about you, but I’m ready to unplug the phone, break out the Jergen’s, and get a one-fisted blowout cooking, Jack.

Except I can’t get the fuckin’ DVD to play. Maybe it’s cuz it’s over two hours long, or maybe it’s cuz my PC is just disgusted with me at this point, but the disc keeps crashing the computer. Motherfucker. Now I gotta go whack-off to old Beverly Hillbillies reruns. Again.

Obviously, I can’t say for sure, but I’m gonna give this one my highest rating anyway. Why? Because the devil told me too, that’s why. Diabolical!