Anyway, the deal with I Cream on Genie is that a bunch of guys (including Kurt Lockwood and Sascha) confess in voice-over that they succumbed to the age-old temptation of rubbing an oil lamp, and out popped a hot genie that fucked them. That’s it, period, end of sentence. I wasn’t aware that there was a long-standing fantasy about having sex with genies, though I suppose there are more than a few guys my age who still harbor unclean thoughts about Barbara Eden. But again, does it matter? The film could’ve been See a Penny, Pick Up and You’ll Get Fucked, and we would’ve seen Kurt Lockwood or Sascha picking up spare change from Ventura Boulevard before being pounced up by girls.  It’s not the premise that counts. It’s the fucking.

Thankfully, those doing the fucking in I Cream of Genie are molto hot, from the sweet and super-stacked Sara Stone to pint-sized atom bomb Penny Flame and lanky blonde Brooke (not to be confused with Brooke Haven, as I’ve done in the past). Tyla Wynn’s in there too, and Kelly Wells, acting nutty as usual, but the first three are the real reasons to unzip your pants and enjoy the film, especially Penny Flame, who spews forth all manner of verbal filth while getting vadge slammed. Is it forward of me to say that I love her? Maybe, maybe not.