THE CRAZY FUCKEN MOVIE MAKER (2006)
Starring Uietia, Candy , Silvie,Amanda

Directed by Don Sigefredo

Colossal Entertainment
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 “Oh, I’m a god. I’m so fucking good!”


A more appropriate title for this Euroslut parade might be The Crazy Fucken Bald Guy Who Sits at a Typewriter and Talks to Himself, but I can see why Colossal went in another direction, as that title doesn’t exactly scream “hot XXX” (not to mention the issue of fitting the whole thing on the DVD cover). But it’s a more than apt description for what goes on in CFMM – there’s a crazy bald guy who chain smokes and mutters incessantly to himself as he writes several sex scenes. Through the magic of digital video, we then see those scenes come to life, with a variety of sweet young things from Eastern European countries getting every hole plugged by what appears to be the same Slavic Superman. I’m not sure where the “movie maker” part of the title comes from, since he implicitly states that he’s working under deadline for a publisher, but it hardly matters, since a) the Crazy Fucken guy’s accent is so thick and recorded so poorly that you can only make out every fourth word or so, and b) the reason you’re watching this movie is for the fucking (at least, I hope that’s why you’re watching it) and not the performances. And the fucking is across-the-board hot – the “craziest” it gets is the bowling pin-shaped dildo that gets plugged into one hard-faced blondie’s ass, but there’s a lot of ATM and anal (natch for Euro smut). The girls are kinda indistinguishable from each other, as is often the case with European starlets, but the standouts for me are a fleshy brunette with big naturals who bears a strong resemblance to Sarah Silverman (alterna-types, take note) and appears to care very deeply for ATM, and a slim young cutie who’s the lean meat in a three-way, and who could pass for Ashley Blue’s Continental cousin. She doesn’t have the taste for slapping and spitting in people’s faces like Ms. Ashley, but she certainly takes to assfucking like her. Anyway, just fast-forward through the typist and you’ve got yourself a fairly crazy fucken Saturday night thing.

– The Ultimate Degenerate

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