Directed by Louis Roman (Joseph A. Sarno)

Video X Pix
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For those that fell in love with the narcoleptic pace and endless scenes of coffee drinking in Tight Delight (see review), veteran sexploitationer Joe Sarno once again dons his Louis Roman mask and returns to that stupefying ugly New York apartment for another round of no-budget smut. This time around, though, he's armed with a fistful of Amber Lynn loops, which he not too smoothly integrates into his film by having Barbie Dahl and Scarlet Scarleau (who would give Tantala Ray a run for her money as the most unattractive woman in porn) babble endlessly about how much ass “Andrea” (Amber) is getting. Cut to, of course, totally unrelated footage of Amber in action with '70s and '80s vets Joey Silvera, future Vivid Video director Paul Thomas, Rachel Ashley, Gina Carrera, and Karen Summer. In 1985, Amber Lynn was pretty much the apotheosis of a porn star - she had the nasty, do-anything edge of the East Coast crew, wrapped in the creamy-dreamy blonde body of a West Coast starlet, and she fucked like her life depended on it. She was something to watch then, and some twenty years later, she remains the sole highlight of this otherwise miserable film. The sex between Barbie and Scarlet, and later Michael Knight, the dopey boyfriend from Tight Delight, is just hideous to behold, and their dialogue scenes (which again center around that fucking coffee machine) will make your ears curl up and pull inside your head in an attempt to protect your brain from hearing it. So keep a firm finger on the fast forward until you see Amber. I don't need to tell you what to do with your fingers after that.

Video-X-Pix's DVD features trailers for Expose Me Lovely, with Jennifer Welles, and Female Athletes, starring my ultimate lust object, Annette Haven, who almost makes up for having to see Scarlet Scarleau naked. Almost.

– The Ultimate Degenerate
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