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Bad Girl City Reviews June, 2007.
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*NEW*
Smut Palace
Insanity
(2007) 42nd Street
Forever: XXX-Treme Special Edition
(2007) “Even Grand-dad gets a hard-on!”
If it’s the former, go with Smut Palace Insanity, which showcases Ban 1’s knack for mixing trailers for classic films and fan favorites with obscure and often head-spinning rarities. Spots for “name” titles like Debbie Does Dallas, Bodacious Ta-Tas, Wicked Sensations, the ultra-rare preview for Radley Metzger’s Naked Came the Stranger, and The Devil in Miss Jones flow seamlessly into lesser-known features like Joy (a “comedy” with a very young Sharon Mitchell as a nympho female rapist), Chuck Vincent’s Dirty Looks (which is intro’d by Gloria Leonard and Al Goldstein and offers stop-motion puppet sex), Pink Champagne (‘30s showbiz drama complete with musical numbers and celeb look-alikes – here’s your chance to see Charlie Chaplin blow a load), and The Naughty Network, a Groove Tube-style TV parody which climaxes (quite literally) with a wad of goo ejected from a gal’s pussy into the camera -- think of it as the prototype of the dirt pipe milk shake, if you will. The Smut Palace trailers are in decent to excellent shape, and though the comic introduction by rotund host “Alfred Cockhitch” goes on a bit too long, dirty birds of all ages will have little to complain about the sheer quality of filth on display here.
– The Ultimate Degenerate
Anyone But My Husband
(1977) DVD “It was fun until he started whipping me.”
Cornball premise, to be sure, but this popular hardcore title from Roberta Findlay (the Flesh trilogy and countless other softcore and XXX pictures), exceeds its dumbass storyline with an impressive display of very kinky scenarios, even by the ultra-rough New York porn standards. In addition to catching a prolonged beating from Tree and gagging on Perez’s super schlong, Laing endures a five-finger fistfuck in a soapy hot tub and masturbates to climax with a large champagne bottle. All of these scenes were apparently cut from previous video versions and even from some theatrical prints, which should please both the depraved set and trainspotting classic smut collectors. ABA’s DVD includes a brief snippet of text from an interview with Laing about the movie, as well as trailers for other intense heavy-breathers in their catalog, including Dominatrix Without Mercy, Summer in the City, and The Devil Inside Her. – The Ultimate Degenerate
“Do you wanna go rub one out real quick?”
Lethal Hardcore’s DVD is bolstered by a hilarious scene from Cum on My Cameltoe #2; star Jamie Elle, who appears to be deeply, deeply drunk, gives herself a fierce front-end wedgie in her hysterectomy jeans and espouses vaginal trivia (“I hear that puffy pussies stay tight”) in her helium-overdose voice before subjecting herself to a thorough once-over by a fist-faced older dude. The aforementioned outtakes (snoozable, save for that headslap), and a barrage of trailers for other Lethal titles, including Butt Busters #3, Double Cum Cocktails #4, and the monstrous 8 Simple Rules for Banging My Teenage Daughter, round out the extras. – The Ultimate Degenerate
Anyway, you know the drill with POV movies – the girls get pawed by unseen hands and chatted up by a disembodied voice before an unconnected cock floats into view and fucks them senseless. Said ladies in IPOV5 are a decent cross-section of porn poon, all of whom wrangle some king-sized nightclubs with finesse, if not ease in every situation. Opening bang Haley Young is a milk-colored drink of water with A-cups who endures a glassful of water being poured all over her twat and ass before she gets pounded into the furniture. Joey Valentine has an anything-goes vibe that will be particular appealing for aspiring barflies and panty sniffers. Tiffany and Devon Lee are back-to-back tit queens with big old dumps, as the fellas might say – the way to tell em apart is that Tiffany is shy (to the point of needing off-screen coaching to utter “I want that big black cock”) and has natural knockers, while Devon’s front porch is store-bought, and she’s nothing short of ravenous. They both give up the dirt track, though, which might make matters more confusing. Maybe you’ll want to keep a piece of paper handy for notes. Box cover gash Lexi Cummings is both fleshy and firm, and her fresh-from-the-stylist ‘do and makeup, combined with her gravity-defying tits, make her look like a RealDoll come to life. She’s got a slight couldn’t-care-less attitude (when asked what she likes, she first utters, “Sex,” with as much conviction as you might muster for wheat toast over white with your breakfast, then quickly adds “And my Harley!” which gives you an idea of this gal’s priorities), which some might find disappointing -- until they see her fuck. Lexi’s overheated moan will send shivers down your spine, and she takes the movie’s sole internal pop like a trooper. Her round-and-a-bout comes at the end of the disc, but it’s worth the wait. So if you can get over the whole “Hey, my cock is BLACK!” issue, you might enjoy Interracial P.O.V. 5. And if not, well, look, there’s a billion of these P.O.V. movies out there, so chances are you’ll find one that matches the exact color of your dick in no time at all. Extras include trailers for other Lethal titles, including (appropriately enough) Interracial Sperm Swallowing and the bone-chilling 8 Simple Rules for Banging My Teenage Daughter, along with the usual behind-the-scenes bullshit footage. – The Ultimate Degenerate
The Mother-Load
(2006) – The Ultimate Degenerate. Amateur Adventures, Volume 1 (2006) Starring Nyomi Banxx, Aubrey Addams, Ryaan Reynolds, Ruby Flame Directed by Daniel Dakota Adam and Eve
Extras include trailers for other A&E titles, including Dakota's Tailgunners , Tell Me What You Want 3, and Sex Trainer. A brief behind-the-scenes sneaky peek offers Ginger's encounter with a dildo cam and Ms. Flame folding and unfolding her mile-long legs like she's warming up for Cirque du Soliel.
– The Ultimate Degenerate |
*NEW* SuperWhores Volume 8
The most super of the SuperWhores are the buxotic duo of Gianna and Candace Von, who berate a lantern-jawed slab of Euromeat into manhandling their meaty frames in a sweat-and-spit-filled three way. Sleek Latina Ice La Fox and her perfect peach backside also provides superior stroke material, though her tag team partner, Asian Lena Lang, is completely outshined by La Fox’s caramel creamtasticness. Nyomi Banxxx and Adrianne Nicole each go solo with a pair of jarheads in their respective scenes; both Adrianne and Anell go anal, though the latter gets the Trouper of the Week award for enduring an anal bunkerbuster from Lex. The remaining scenes appear to have been culled from some other oral-intensive feature – Alana Evans delivers a smiley-faced soliloquy on her passion for cocksucking, and underscores her statement by spitshining Randy Spears’ vintage rig, and B-list Asian gals Lacy Tom and Kylie Ray each offer up oral vignettes. These bits are fine, but don’t really match the intensity of the SuperWhore routines. Whatever, though; that’s what the fast-forward button is for. The extras include a battery of trailers for other Mercenary/Lex titles, as well as behind-the-scenes footage, in which we’re treated to the sight of Gianna accidentally spraying director Tina Tyler (still foxy, by the way) with a geyser of saliva during her scene. Is that using your powers for good or evil? – The Ultimate Degenerate 42nd Street
Pete’s 8mm Madness Presents: Super-Stars of the ‘70s Stags
(2006) DVD 42nd Street Pete’s web site: www.42ndStreetPete.com
The set-up is as basic as it gets: Pete acts as a raunchy Rod Serling, introducing each of the loops (which are from his collection) and offering a bit of biographical information on the name talent. The loops themselves are in fair to rough condition (lots of scratches, surface dirt, and clipped frames), but none of that should detract from your (ahem) viewing pleasure (and if it does, please lighten up, Francis). The aforementioned Mr. Holmes and his anaconda appendage appear six times in this set, mostly with unsung big tit queen Linda MacDowell, who deserves some kind of medal (or disability pay) for repeatedly taking Holmes’ tool up her backside without so much as a wince or a grimace. Linda also gets double-fucked by Mr. Wadd and Rick Cassidy in “Playmate of the Year,” and Holmes puts a faceless young blondie through her paces with the help of dapper-ass chocolate superstar Johnny Keyes (of Behind the Green Door fame) in “Little More than a Mouthful” (the sole loop in the collection to sport something resembling credits, which was a rarity for this format). Linda Lovelace is the other superstar represented here by multiple loops; looking very slim and sporting a variety of grooved-out costumes and hair styles (in one, her Deep Throat perm is kinked out to Coffy-sized proportions), Linda is nothing short of a sexual hydrogen bomb who knocks her scene co-stars out of their thigh-high black socks by the combined force of her bare pussy, elastic ass, and bottomless piehole (yes, Linda does deep throat several times here). In return, her partners do their best to wear her out, including one young blonde lady who crams her entire fist in Linda’s twat with the help of what appears to be a bar of soap. An teenaged-looking Eric Edwards is Linda’s sparring partner in some of the films; Edwards has recounted on several occasions seeing Linda shoot her notorious dog-fucking loop shortly after performing with him, which makes me wonder if the flicks included here are from that infamous period. Also on the bill: Vanessa Del Rio, who performs with a solo stud in one loop and then with a pile of dudes in another (which concludes with a multi-man facial); monster tit redhead Lisa De Leeuw, who bangs a buff Asian guy in the front seat of a convertible and takes his load to her Irish kisser for the payoff; proto-MILF Candy Samples, who teases a hillbilly-looking goon with a soap-up in the shower before unleashing her sensational saddle bags and riding him to a frothy climax; and early loop star Tina Russell (without her frequent co-star and husband Jason, who gets a comb-out from her hairdresser (a malevolent-looking Marc “10 1/2” Stevens before she and her muff-diving female pal double-team him. Tina is supposedly featured in a second loop, but the disc’s liner notes (by DVD Drive-In’s Casey Scott) contradict this notion; whoever this femme fucker is, she seems three sheets to the wind and issues some kind of frosting-like substance from her snatch. Guh-ross. Last but not least, a pre-stardom Seka yanks the crank of two mutton-headed studs (one of whom is ‘70s standby Jesse Adams) before taking one in her platinum pussy and the other up her delectable derriere. Cue the double facial treatment for the fadeout, natch. The disc concludes with a pair of bonus loops, neither of which feature names (save the aforementioned Mr. Adams); in “Monster’s Balls,” a fresh-scrubbed brunette (who might be Mycle Brandy) is grabbed by two bus terminal types in horror masks and hate-fucked in a rough three way, while in “Orange Drink,” Jesse gets a working over from two blousy babes who milk his crank into a glass of what appears to be Tang. There’s a joke about “now fortified with even more vitamins” here, to be sure, but I’m just not gonna do it. I suppose some grumpy-ass nerds will get their undies in a bunch over the undeniable fact that four of the loops are actually slightly longer (or black and white) versions of others present in this set. But you know what? This is porn, people, and ‘70s porn to boot – straight-ahead, no-bullshit, 100% sleaze. If there wasn’t a little chicanery involved in any disc that involved this batch of snatch, I’d actually consider asking for my money back. The rest of you – the ones who actually have lives and don’t spend hours posting your complaints about DVDs on internet discussion boards – you’re gonna have a filthy good time with this lascivious loops. And Pete’s got more in store for you (there’s a 8mm Madness Vol.1, which I promise I’ll get to soon, and a European loop collection, both available from After Hours), so keep being dirty little boys and girls and they’ll be here sooner than you think – The Ultimate Degenerate
Assraelis
(2006) DVD
Well, let's leave the politicking to smarter or more cynical smut writers than I. The bottom line on Assraelis is that it's very professionally made porn on the level of Private's glossy, high-end porn, and with that label's penchant for shooting public sex in exotic locations. The ladies of Assraelis hew towards Private's standards as well – they're all slim and pliable and more than okay with numerous cocks in a single scene; the standout for me is cover girl Rony Pornstar, who with her elfin cuteness and anal skills, might be the Ashley Blue of the Mediterranean (minus the spitting and throttling, natch). Young Rony takes on a brigade of young Hebrews in one scene, and later performs some enthusiastic banging on top of what appears to be a seaside cliff while a platoon of real Israeli soldiers cheer her on from below (again, it's up to a savvier writer to consider how many of those fine young warriors met their doom shortly after this scene was shot – sorry, buzzkill).
Frizzy-haired and chesty Shelly Mimon is my other fave in the movie – she's all toothy smiles and creamy skin in her two scenes, one of which involves her being buggered by a couple of randy cab drivers in what looks like a public square. The other has her DP'd by a spiky-haired galoot and his simian pal in a workshop full of sharp and pointy objects, but with nary a complaint from our girl Shelly. Both she and Rony (who desperately needs a new nom du porn), as well as the other shiksas in Assraelis, exhibit a freshness and lack of cynicism that's missing from most Stateside smut girls, not to mention a welcome absence of tattoos (though that's frankly due more to cultural reasons than stylistic choice).
So, to summarize: hot Jewish girls, beautiful locations, and filthy sex. What's not to love about Assraelis? Nothing, bubula. The Tight Fit DVD comes with three bonus scenes (all solo masturbation bouts) featuring Rony and May Buskila, and an (unsubtitled) behind-the-scenes featurette, which shows Rony nearly taking a swan dive off that cliff on numerous occasions; trailers for future Israel Erotica titles and TightFit's domestic productions, including Sex and the Sybian and the jaw-droppingly morbid So Low: Autoerotic Self Asphyxiation.
– The Ultimate Degenerate
"I'm going to rape your piece of shit brain, you worthless motherfucker!"
I'm sure there are plenty of extras on this disc, but since the screener I got was bare-bones (and with a big fucking "X" watermark in the middle of the screen), I can't tell you if Andres Tabogo reveals his filmic inspirations or what Alektra Blue had for breakfast on the morning of her lesbian scene with Lorena. I'm sure that if you pick up this film, you'll be able to answer all those questions and more.
– The Ultimate Degenerate
Got Porn? Want Reviews? Brother, you have come to the right place. Send 'em to:
Sleazegrinder POB 51446 Boston, MA 02205
Email us for street address, if you need one.
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Here’s an interesting head-to-head competition of XXX trailer compilations
vying for the hearts and minds (and wallets) of the vintage porn-loving
hipster community. Smut Palace Insanity is a two-hour collection from
scrappy up-and-comer Ban 1 Productions, which endeared itself to sleaze
beasts in 2005 with 
Ignored by her cheap and philandering husband (R. Bolla), naïve housewife
Nora (C.J. Laing) is advised by both her shrink and her brassy best friend
(Sarah Nicholson/Jennifer Jordan) to take lovers as a means of relieving her
frustration. Naturally, Nora’s dip into the extra-martial lifestyle is
disastrous – a fey art gallery owner (Beerbohn Tree) turns her into “art” by
whipping the shit out of her, and a poetry-reading goon (Eric Edwards) bores
her silly with verse. A temporary respite comes courtesy the 13” horsecock
of giggling Tony “The Hook” Perez, on whom Nora displays a newfound talent
for extreme deep throat. But in the end, Home Sweet Home is where she wants
to be – even with her dipshit of a spouse. 
Though it’s clear that the female talent on display in Harry Palm’s latest
wall-to-wall flesh fest is Built for Sex – they all possess mouths
and vaginas, and use them in carnal congress – that does not mean that they
watching them put those qualifications to work is particularly arousing. The
closest thing to stroke material in this glum five-pack of fucking is
brunette pixie doll Alexa Von Tess, whose porcelain complexion and
farm-fresh peach ass are ripe for despoilment. Miss Von Tess goes through
the usual brain-searing pre-bang showcase simply oozing star quality, even
while mouthing the most idiotic of dirty talk (“Everybody loves my big ass,”
“ I love the cock,” and so on, dribble dribble), and loses none of her
virgin prom queen appeal even after she’s repeatedly vage-fouled by a
groaning goonburger with a shaved head (who, in the outtakes, is seen taking
a swing at Alexa’s ass, missing by a country mile, and slapping himself in
the head – honest). The rest of the ladies – which include plus-sized
Melody, forgettable sister Sydney, and Lana Sky, who can be best described
as resembling the loser in a backroom bout of Foxy Boxing – might be best
served by returning to their day jobs. Oh, I supposed cover girl Mindy Lee
might work for those who have an insatiable yen for anything blonde, and
while her perf hits all the right notes, it’s not like you couldn’t find a
hundred other flaxen-haired dames like her in a million other titles. Just
so you know.
I
really shouldn’t call out the basic premise of Interracial P.O.V. 5,
because as I’ve said many times before, all porn movies are built on
essentially retarded foundations, but… the science behind the idea of this
wall-to-wall fleshfest is a little, well, strange. If we are to accept the
basic fantasy at work in the P.O.V. movie, which is that we are seeing what
it would look like to fuck a porn starlet (as the box cover copy reads, “5
Horny Hotties Fucking and Sucking YOUR Cock!”), then might it not be
somewhat distracting to white viewers to see that in the course of this wank-dream,
their dicks had turned black? Cause that’s what you get in IPOV5 – a
bunch of girls getting vadge- and ass-slammed by some considerable Mandingo
cock. Now, I won’t pretend to speak for every viewer – maybe it’d be cool to
imagine that you’ve traded in (or in some cases, traded up) your plain ole
honky dick for some righteous brother lumber. It certainly might give your
ego a boost, even if only for the two-plus-hours running time of this movie.
Me, I dunno – the sight of all that blacksnake popping into view where “my”
ofay cock was supposed to be threw me out of the picture. Does that make me
racist? Jeez, I hope not.
By now, you know the drill – five wall-to-wall scenes starring ladies of a
particular age and pedigree – but David Lord's The Mother-Load has three
things going for it that separate his sex spree from the rest of the filthy
pack. One, the box cover tag line ("Hottest MILFs on the Planet!") is, for
once, no exaggeration – not only does it star veteran sex bomb Tiffany Minx
(ass still spectacular? Check), but also auburn-haired creamy dream Ginger
Lea, Red Sonja lookalike Shannen Kelly, and super-foxy blonde Niki Wilde,
who provides a memorable car wash scene (stacked redhead Bailey O'Daire is
perhaps best enjoyed by those viewers who like their ladies on the
"experienced" side). Two, Tiffany and Shannen give up the anal in their
scenes, and the rest of the gals go for dick like their lives depend on it.
And three, David Lord slips in some self-deprecating humor that makes the
moments before and after the screwing tolerable. It's not exactly Wet Hot
American Summer, but a little levity goes a long way when you're waiting for
Tiffany Minx. 
Technically, none of the girls on display in the debut
volume of Adam and Eve's Amateur Adventures is an amateur in the
flesh business; even a casual search on the internet or your local rental
house will turn up a number of scenes and features starring these six
"inexperienced hotties" (the cover art's quote, not mine). But this is a
semantic argument, and in porn, hot chicks always trump semantics, so let's
just stop that debate in its tracks. What you've got is the standard
wall-to-wall arrangement here, with each girl proclaiming their freshman
status before being thoroughly railed by one of four beefy porn studs. My
pick to click is cover girl and Black Emanuelle lookalike Ryaan Reynolds,
whose abundant, caramel-colored frame is almost too much woman for her
spindly scene partner Kevin (a dead ringer for Green Acres' Eb
Dawson). However, you may find favor with Southern fried honey treat Ginger
Lee (not to be confused with auburn-haired MILF Ginger Lea), who sets some
kind of record for uttering the word "fuck" while getting her socket jolted
by Will Powers, or maybe you'll cotton to white-girl-with-booty Aubrey
Addams and brown sugar Nyomi Banxx, who increase the peace through oral sex
before Will shows up with his crook-dick and bangs them both. There's also
super-flexible Ruby Flame and juggsy Carmen Kinsley – all quality ladies,
and sexy as it gets, but not an amateur in the bunch. But when it comes to
fucking, do you really want an amateur? Of course not, you silly thing.
The
premise behind SuperWhores, which has one or more beefy dudes
complaining about how they’re not getting laid, whereupon a starlet strolls
in and exclaims the arrival of a “SuperWhore” in less-than-thrilled tones
before screwing him to a standstill, is so fucking stupid that it might
actually cause you to forget valuable information like where you live or how
to drive your car. But since this is Volume Eight in the Lexington
Steele-produced series, it’s far too late to make a case against it. And
besides, the female talent on display here is by and large super hot – make
that SuperHot – and the sex is six different kinds of nasty, which makes a
little thing like brain damage easy to overlook.
First, a quick history lesson: a loop is a short porn film, usually about a
scene in length, shot on 16mm and transferred to 8mm for viewing at home or
(more likely) in a peep booth at an adult book or video store. The action is
strictly hardcore, though as Michelle Clifford and Bill Landis note in
Metasex #2, a small portion of these were included extreme B&D action as
well. Many sex stars of ‘70s XXX features got their first exposure (so to
speak) in loops – John Holmes is reported to have made hundreds, and Linda
Lovelace of Deep Throat infamy made some of the most graphic. Both of
these late legends are on display, along with many other Golden Age
luminaries, in this new two-disc compilation from grindhouse historian and
all-around standup guy 42nd Street Pete.
I was under the impression that this Euro-style gonzo
sexflick, shot entirely in Israel (and in Hebrew) and starring an all-Chosen
cast, had incensed the Israeli government (which doesn't seem that hard to
do anymore), but in reality, the only protest Assraelis seems to have
garnered is from a rabbi (who clearly has a lot of time on his hands) that
protested TightFit honcho Oren Cohen's decision to put a "100% Kosher"
symbol on the box cover. I'm sorta surprised by the lack of public outcry,
given the volatile situation in the 
Super-slick porno noir from Argentine newcomers
Pulpo, Inc., who are clearly seeking to bring some style and story to the
smut movie parade. There are plenty of both in their debut release, Black
Worm; the locations are high-end, and the photography by Mandril (not
the '70s black-Latin funk band) is glossy to a fault and looks better than
even Vivid or Private's product. The story (by Pornoterror and Inkblot –
really) is basic guns-and-drugs drama – kept woman Carla (Lorena Sanchez,
she of the perfect apple bottom ass) is set up by El Capo (Jean Paul) to rip
off international jet-set "hitter" Oso (Tony De Sergio), who in turn helps
her get revenge for past atrocities – sprinkled liberally with
Tarantino-style flashbacks and a twisteroo ending. It's certainly an
impressive way to launch a new label, and you've gotta give Pulpo credit for
not simply putting out the umpteenth wall-to-wall Latina fuckshow, even if
the stylistic touches tend to trip up the viewer's ability to tell what the
hell is going on from scene to scene. But ultimately, it's the sex that
makes the whole thing worth the watch – Sanchez gets two sweat-soaked B/G
rut sessions, one with De Sergio and the other with the venerable Van
Damage, and then a pussy munch-off with Alektra Blue, who plays De Sergio's
right hand woman. Mikayla (now fully into the hetero thing) also contributes
a
nawsty back-to-back fuck with a very authentic-looking vato; their
scene culminates in a unique double pop shot (vato fires off his load
shortly before a thug enters and cuts his throat, which drenches Mikayla in
stage blood). Filth hounds who crave only the five-fucks-and-skidoo approach
of labels like Lethal and Red Light might find the rampant production value
a bit too much to digest in one sitting, but anyone who can listen to
dialogue while holding their dick in their hand should appreciate the extra
mile Pulpo's gone with Black Worm.