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Here’s Fifty Bucks Rocketdog Records  Cowboy Slug here has rounded up one rodeo of a comp. Hog-tied and
black-eyed, this corral is crammed with grade-A slop rock. Each song is
timed to the approximate minutes it would take you to stick your foot in
the stirrups and get knocked the fuck off in dirt. Desertpunk riders
Gluecifer hang in there, like a hair in a biscuit, on the first cut.
Runners-up and Madrid’s original bullfighters, Pleasure Fuckers even
saddle up. Streetwalkin’ Cheetahs ain't afraid of any blood, even if
Nitwitz were the cause of the cut. Candy Snatchers, also known to date
rape, spread their deadly venereal noise. Union 69 break out with a catchy
little tune, “Mongo Magnet” which inspires me to dance along, like a
stripper straddling poles, for fifty bucks. Even the artwork on this mug
gets me revved up. Panties on the dashboard, track marks on the arms of
scum fucks, and cocaine rails laid out on porn. What better date could you
go on? Tony Slug, come pick me up! It’s going to be hard to top his second
edition of smut with Jeff Dahl and Hellacopters as live bonus tracks. _______________________________________________________ Let There Be Doom Southern Lord Records “And on the sixth day god created sin which in return created DooM!” -Smut  Witch Metal. It doesn’t get any darker than this. You could dig up bones
from burials of the earliest witch hunt and you still wouldn’t dig up the
ruins that has rattled the pit up my drums. Goatsnake blossomed with
“Flowers Of Disease” only to spoil with their unreleased demo, “Black Cat
Bone.” Saint Vitus’s, “I Bleed Black” requires a hatchet to cut through
the vocal chords of Wino. Earthride have shattered the walls of hell
already as they work their way up. Warhorse and Thorrs Hammer are
legendary Vikings that are always down for ransacking homes through
stereos. Obsessed, in my opinion, should have ranked last instead of
Sun
O))), considering they procreated doom. But, it’s in the paws of Greg
Anderson, the owner of Southern Lord, and who made his claw marks in both
Obsessed and Sunn 0))). _______________________________________________________ High Volume: The Stonerrock Collection High Times Records There are reasons I procrastinated so long to review this. One I can. Two I’m stoned. And three, the street date isn’t until June, anyhow. Stonnerock, the term, has had such a bad rep that I can’t help to own albums from everyone of these burnouts. Personally, if your in a band who has even started it’s own genre then keep up the hard rock. What difference does it make if labeled by some square rock critic who flushes pot or if they called you dope pop. It doesn’t. I’m tired of hearing musicians wanting to merge from being pin-pointed as stonnerock. Steppenwolf would have killed to have been labeled as Heavy Metal, but they weren’t ,even when they came up with it. Actually, the Mad Hatters should be held responsible for it all. This toxic rock collection shows what little you may know about rock or pot. In order for most of these artist to attain this much reverb or distorted walhed-out fuzz mounting in their socks, requires a reasonable amount of pot. Denmark, by far, must have the best bud in order for Gas Giant to erupt this compilation like they do. The Formula gives you a fair fix of just what the hell Ed Mundell (Monster Magnet, Atomic Bitchwax) has been up to. Bad Wizard’s on the bill, but this goes to show you don’t have to smoke pot just lead guitar. High On Fire, again, are far from being hippies, even though they may smell like one. Orange Goblin may be the biggest British burnouts, but you could never ever tell the way they nail “No Law.” Next time you knock on stoners be sure you have at least a drum stick in your hand and have jerked off that arm to be strong. ______________________________________________________ |
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