Not only did I drink on the job, but I flirted with bike builders all day, and even was bribed by all of them to let Bruce, from Skunkworks wear my school-girl outfit. Everything was bruised fun and games, until the end of weekend, when Bean’re was wishing he never met me. It could have been after I was escorted out of the hot-wet t-shirt contest for getting way too frisky with this blonde in white go-go boots, or after I pissed inside the monster trike trailer Sunday night. I never tried to advertise something I was not, tho. When I originally applied for the gig, I’m pretty sure he  was aware of the trouble walkin’ he was up against. In a place, like Chillicothee, where cross-dressing is as common as the sightings of crotchless chaps, one may find it easy to justify their drunken insanities. Once night falls, the real circus begins outside in the campgrounds.

An unsettled dust fog rolled through the lot, as women and men of every shape and size flashed their genitals. At one point, we  were stuck behind a golfcart with two naked obese chicks that were enough to make the late, Jack Daniels nauseas. Pochahonas, the legendary Beaver, OH dominatrix pulled her whips and drilldos out and almost took Jesse James Dupree hostage. Only in Ohio, will you be exposed to the most obscene of smuts. 

The Kings Of Sleaze, Crank County Daredevils were slated to open up for the chainsaw madness held Saturday night, but obviously have enough opportunities presented in life to piss a few off. Billy Velvet is regular to the biker scene, and much like, Bean’re is well-known from Daytona to South Dakota. In fact, he rode with Bean’re to Sturgis a week before he picked this highway honey up.

Bartool races and Monster Trike pulls are what the Easyrider Rodeo is truly about. I witnessed the slowest race ever, in which the object is to ride so slow, that they don’t lay it over. Cornbread, from KY took the crown on that one, leaving Kendall Johnson to win some of the more heavyweight races. Speaking of heavyweights, Ultimate Fighting took place Saturday night as I sat front row and rooted for Sugar, even though him and I were smashed before it was over.

Back behind the cigar tray, behind the smoke and beer hiccups, I gained a different aspect on life. Bean’re helped me realize there is more achievements than just getting a slot in the finals for the motorized barstool race, in which he took second place. Life is full of opportunities, and even though, I’m an opportunist, I can’t go as far as I think with a beer, joint, and straw in hand. It is now a month later, and I haven’t had anything to drink since. It’s not because I pissed a good friend off, but because I passed yet another good opportunity up because I was too drunk. I’ll be back next year to lap his ass with a custom-built booth and tables, however! Dreams are for the dead. And Bean’re and his rolling, “Rodney Roadking” are amongst the living.