My pick to click for the week is the After Dark Horrorfest, which brought eight independent horror titles to theaters around the country in 2006, and offered a much-needed alternative to the cruddy mainstream genre titles of last year like the Hills Have Eyes remake. Lions Gate is releasing seven of the titles (the eighth, Nacho Cerda’s The Abandoned, had a short-lived release earlier this year) in a seven-disc pack and as stand-alone titles. Your mileage may vary as to which of the lot is the best, but Penny Dreadful, about a car-phobic woman (Rachel Miner) who picks up a psychotic hitchhiker, has its share of creeps; Takashi (The Grudge) Shimizu’s Reincarnation (in which a horror movie film crew encounters strange phenomena at a murder site) is worth a look-see too. The rest of the titles are: The Gravedancers (with Prison Break’s Dominic Purcell), the medical chiller Unrest, The Hamiltons (about a psychotic family), Dark Ride (escaped mental patient stalks a carnival), and Wicked Little Things (zombie action).

Also in the Horror file: Shutter (Tartanvideo) is a better-than-expected Thai ghost story about the vengeful spirit of a murdered girl who appears in the photographs of an amateur cameraman; yes, it’s familiar territory, but it’s also very well-directed and delivers more shudders than expected.  Same goes for Roman (Echo Bridge), an unsettling thriller about a lonely headcase who accidentally murders the object of his obsession (Kristen Bell of Veronica Mars). After that, the real trouble starts. Fans of the indie psycho-shocker May should know that Roman reunites that film’s writer/director, Lucky McKee, and star Angela Bettis, only this time around, it’s Angela in the director’s chair (and doing a damn good job), and Lucky in the lead. Definitely worth your time.  There’s also Pumpkinhead: Ashes to Ashes, the didn’t-really-know-there-was-a-need-for-it second sequel to the Stan Winston backwoods monster flick, with Lance Henriksen back for another helping, and Doug Bradley in tow as a local doctor with less-than-honorable intentions. If that’s too tame for you, there’s also the Director’s Version of I Spit On Your Corpse, I Piss On Your Grave (SRC Cinema LLC), a punishing rape-and-revenge endurance test from Eric (Scrapbook) Stanze. Oh, and for real-life ugliness, there’s Albert Fish (Facets), a documentary about the elderly Depression-era child murderer, masochist, and unrepentant cannibal from director John Borowski (H.H. Holmes: America’s First Serial Killer).

Whew, that’s gruesome. How ‘bout some sex to cleanse our palates? 42^nd Street Forever: XXX-Treme  Special Edition (Synapse) is a two-hour compilation of ‘70s and ‘80s-era porn trailers, all in sparkling condition (and this seems like a good place to mention that Ban 1 Productions, the folks who originally conceived the 42^nd Street Forever trailer series, have their own XXX preview comp, called Smut Palace Insanity, and it’s a definite must-have for vintage filth fans). Meanwhile, modern porn queen and all-around loveable nutcase Mary Carey shows her star power (and a few other things) in Pervert! (TLA), an amusing tribute to ‘60s sexploitation, especially the films of Russ Meyer.  Oh, and while it’s not smut per se, Hundra (Subversive) is a dumb-but-fun Conan knockoff with the buxotic Laurene Landon (of It’s Alive 3 and Yellow Hair and the Fortress of Gold non-fame) as a sword-swinging Amazon – and yeah, she takes her clothes off. Cuts off a bunch of heads too. Can’t beat that. Matt Cimber (ex-Mr. Jayne Mansfield) directed. Lastly, Heartbreak High (Image) is NOT the ‘90s Australian high school series, but in reality, a tepid cheerleader comedy from 1981 that’s better known as The Kinky Coaches and the Pom Pom Pussycats. That title’s very misleading, as there’s almost no nudity in the movie, but it does have Robert Forster and John (Animal House) Vernon as opposing football coaches. 

In the reissue department, Blue Underground has three excellent Eurowesterns for sale at reduced prices; Keoma, with Franco Nero, is the must-get for its incredible action set pieces, but also for its bizarre Gothic atmosphere and for the ear-splitting soundtrack (which features Nero crooning his worst Leonard Cohen imitation). But if you’re a spaghetti Western fan, you’ll also want to pick up A Bullet for the General, with Klaus Kinski and Martine Beswick (hot-cha!), and Texas, Adios, also with Nero. Meanwhile, the budget label Alpha Video has picked up some of the best titles in Ted V. Mikels’ long and very weird career. On deck this week is The Corpse Grinders, the eye-popping Doll Squad (with Tura Satana!), and 10 Violent Women.  Ted’s Corpse Grinders 2 is also available, but it’s unwatchable. Trust us.

Last but not least, there’s Trailer Park Boys: The Movie (Alliance Canada), a feature-length adventure based on the uproariously funny Canadian TV series about the misfits and degenerates that populate a mobile home park; here, the Boys (Ricky, Julian, and Bubbles) plan “The Big Dirty,” a scheme to steal a huge amount of untraceable coins. If you’ve seen the series, you’ll know that this all goes to shit in the most spectacular way; fans and first-timers are definitely encouraged to check this out. Also out is Not 4 $ale: TV Sheriff and the Trail Buddies (Other Cinema), a compilation of the LA-based experimental video crew’s “remix” treatments on TV news, advertisements, and other boob tube detritus. The fellas from DEVO are big fans (Gerry Casale is featured on the DVD), which is as good a recommendation as I can offer. And finally, Arts Magic has Miike Madness, Vol. 2, a Takashi Miike two-fer that clearly illustrates the Japanese director’s broad scope. The Bird People of China is a gentle drama about a businessman and a gangster who travel to a remote Chinese village to oversee a jade mining operation, while Osaka Tough Guys is a wild comedy about two hapless would-be hoods who become apprentice yakuzas. You’d be hard pressed to find two more diverse films from the same director, and even more so to find two that are enjoyable as these.

– Paul Gaita

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Televista is one of the many fly-by-night DVD companies whose releases straddle the bootleg/public domain line as tightly as possible. Their product is almost uniformly average to crappy at best – most of their sources seem to be from deep-fried VHS copies, and extras… well, unless you consider the main menu page an extra, you’re not getting any. But you know what? Televista has excellent taste in sleaze. This week alone, they’re releasing the Spanish-Italian horror flick Murder Mansion (1972); the Nazi-sploitation grinder  Hitler’s Last Train/Love Train for the SS, under its Stateside title Helltrain; the Tommy Kirk-on-LSD comedy Mother Goose-A-Go-Go (as The Unkissed Bride);  the thoroughly insane Texas-made science fiction pic The Yesterday Machine, in which Nazi scientists attempt to bring Hitler to the present day by what appears to be a Las Vegas elevator; The Milpitas Monster, another regional production, this time about a giant creature spawned from the junkyards of rural Milpitas, CA; the ultra-rare black action movie Honeybaby, Honeybaby, with Calvin Lockhart and Diana Sands; Sixteen, a backwoods potboiler from ’73 about carnies corrupting a hillbilly family; and a staggering amount of Euro-sex, including Julia with Sylvia Kristel, and two rare English softcore comedies, The Wife Swappers and Eskimo Nell, the latter featuring popular British ‘70s nude model and actress Mary Millington. Like I said at the start, don’t purchase one of these expecting the special edition treatment or supplemental features up the wazoo (no nerd complaints, please) – don’t even expect the movies to be in focus. But with so much talk of late about “the grindhouse experience,” here’s a easy way to get that sleazy feeling for as few bucks as possible.

Now, if you want special editions and extras, you can pick up Anchor Bay's new version of Re-Animator (it’s part of their new Anchor Bay Collection) and get all the bells and whistles you can handle for this classic mid-80s splatfest. Granted, Stuart Gordon’s black comedy take on the H.P. Lovecraft story has been around the DVD block a few times, and chances are, you already have this one in your collection. But if not, just be aware that in addition to the features that made the Elite double DVD a keeper (commentary by and interviews with Gordon and his cast and crew, deleted scenes, trailers, etc), you also get a new 70-minute making-of documentary, “Re-Animator Resurrectus,” as well as the original script and story in DVD-ROM format. Just think: now you can put on your own amateur production of Re-Animator in your home, or at the next company picnic! Let us know how that goes.

Also from Anchor Bay: “Pro-Life,” John Carpenter’s decidedly loony second-season entry for Showtime’s Masters of Horror series. It’s a ballsy idea – a young woman, impregnated by what appears to be a horned demon, attempts to have the fetus terminated while her anti-abortion dad (Ron Perlman) plans to break into the clinic and remove his daughter at gunpoint. Problems arise when the father, such as it is, arrives to put in his two cents. It’s also relentlessly violent, which tends to obscure any sort of point being made by the story, but it’s worth a look-see. Extras include commentary by and interviews with the cast and Carpenter.

Going to Pieces: The Rise and Fall of the Slasher Movie (Velocity/Thinkfilm) is a solid documentary about the ‘80s horror phenomenon that originally aired on the Starz Channel. Interviews with the usual suspects – John Carpenter, Wes Craven, Sean S. Cunningham – are balanced out by talks with lesser known directors like Paul (Prom Night) Lynch, Armand Mastroianni, and Fred (When A Stranger Calls) Walton – and best of all, no Eli Roth!

Also: Ed Wood – A Salute to Incompetence (Passport) is a smarmy re-titling of the Ed Wood Collection that Image released a few years back – it’s Ed’s early stuff (Plan 9, Bride of the Monster), plus a short documentary about him, in a five-disc set. Will Michael Bay get a Salute To Incompetence after he’s dead? Here’s hoping. Nostalgic creeps should pick up The Anna Nicole Smith Collection (Playboy) is a three-disc set that compiles three of her DVD releases through the mag’s home entertainment label; I don’t know about you, but I have a hard time looking at naked women right after they’ve died. But that’s just me.

Meanwhile, Image has the vintage Shaw Brothers swordfighting actioner Vengeance is a Golden Blade from way back in ’69, as well as Killing Machine, a 60-minute digital video feature from Singapore that’s best summed up by the literal translation of its original title: Teenage Hooker Became Killing Machine in Daehakroh. Oh yeah, and I think she’s an undead teenage hooker, too.

Lastly, give a second or two to check out Unknown Passage: The Dead Moon Story (MVD), a long overdue look at rockin’ grandparents Fred and Toody Cole and their long running psych-garage outfit Dead Moon. Lots of live footage (including some glimpses of the Coles’ early and forgotten band The Rats) and interviews with family and friends will hopefully hip a few more people to this criminally underappreciated band.

– Paul Gaita
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Sleazegrinder didn’t care much for Ghoul School (Camp), but maybe you’ll disagree with the Chief after checking out this low-budget, shot on video blood feast from 1990 about a zombie swim team preying on fellow students. CMP’s Super Bloody Splatter University Edition includes three (count ‘em, three) commentary tracks, making-of featurettes, a fund-raising promo short, and amateur shorts from the directors.

And if the subject of enterprising young men and women toiling against nearly insurmountable odds to make a low-budget horror film catches your interest, you can get the full down-and-dirty details in Horror Business (Image), a behind-the-scenes documentary about the indie horror movie racket. Among the directors profiled: Mark Borchardt of Coven and American Movie fame; conspiracy buff and deep-fried nutcase Ron Atkins (Schizophreniac: The Whore Mangler) and Brian Singleton, who labors to complete his films despite a lack of money, residence, or audience. Talking-head chats with Herschell Gordon Lewis, Sid Haig, and Joe Bob Briggs offer alternatives to the heady scent of aspiration that clings to the main subjects; anyone thinking that they can simply pick up a camera and make it on the cover of Fangoria should first give this disc a spin.

On the reissue front: I might be more excited about the release of Paul Naschy’s Night of the Werewolf and Vengeance of the Zombies (both on Deimos) were they better movies; as it stands now, they’re average chillers from the Spanish horror king, but they’re also uncut, which means they might be more enjoyable under less edit-heavy circumstances. Also, Shriek Show is releasing a new Special Edition of Lucio Fulci’s ‘70s psycho-thriller Lizard in a Woman’s Skin. The company put out a double-disc set for this title back in 2005 which set some kind of record for DVD nerd complaints on the internet; they’ve headed off the geek squad this time by presenting the film in an uncut, anamorphic presentation, but without many of the excellent supplemental features that made the previous disc worth the price tag. My two cents: unless your days are spent comparing VHS and DVD editions of movies (and I hope they’re not), you’ll probably be as happy with this set as you were with the first one.

Also in the Horror section: Sublime (Warner) is one of those “your worst fears become reality” pics about a businessman who checks into a hospital for a colonoscopy and wakes up post-surgery to find himself in a very different and spooky-scary location. Oh, dear. This is one of Warner’s direct-to-DVD “Raw Feed” pictures, and sports a decent cast of semi-names (Paget Brewster, Tom Cavanaugh… oh, and Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs – motherfuckin’ Freddy Boom-Boom Washington! As a nurse named Mandingo!), so maybe it’s worth a look-see. Bloody Reunion (Tartan) is a class reunion massacre flick from Korea that makes good on the “bloody” half of its title; and Tales of Terror from Tokyo, Volume 3, Part 2 (Tokyo Shock) offers more “real-life” ghost stories from the popular Japanese TV series of the same name.

Picks to Click for the week: The Hellbenders (Anchor Bay)is an entertaining Italian western from Sergio (Django) Corbucci about a family of Confederate cutthroats (led by Joseph Cotton) hauling a coffin filled with stolen loot. It has plenty of action, the very hot Norma Bengell as the gal who comes between the kinfolk, and a great score by Ennio Morricone, so what’s not to love? I’d also pick up Shogun Assassin II: Lightning Swords of Death (animego), the English-dubbed sequel to the incredible grindhouse samurai flick Shogun Assassin (itself a redubbed and re-edited version of two films from Japan’s Lone Wolf and Cub film series). If you liked the intense swordplay and geysers of blood in SA, well, you’re gonna be very happy with this one too, especially considering it was reconstructed from a digital transfer. That means it looks real good. Lastly, That Little Monster (Koch Lorber) has been kicking around on VHS and DVD from various companies (Sinister Cinema, Elite) for over a decade now. It’s a tongue-in-cheek short (56 minutes) about a babysitter who wrangles with a very bad infant and stars Reggie Bannister from the Phantasm movies and good ol’ Forrest J. Ackerman. People seem to either like it or loathe – here’s your chance to pick a side.

Odds and Sods Dept: I love Marilyn Chambers, but not enough to check out her mostly dreary R-rated anthology movies. Three of em (All Nude Peep Show, Sex and the Girl Next Door, and Bikini World Tour) are on DVD from Eclectic, and maybe you’ll like them more than I do. Penthouse Pet Amy Lynn Baxter also has a movie from Eclectic out this week – it’s called Key West and Wild, and I’m not entirely sure what that means, but she’s naked in it, so that’s really all that matters.

Arthouse types might dig John Cameron (Hedwig) Mitchell’s Shortbus (Velocity/Thinkfilm), which features amateur actors fucking for real on film – I think that’s supposed to be subversive. Dunno. Or they can play dress-up kinky with La Belle Captive (Koch Lorber), an unsettling story that involves suggested vampirism, bondage, hallucinations, and obsession. It’s avant-garde, so be forewarned, but it’s also sexy.

And last but not least, Dokken: Unchain The Night (Rhino) adds four unreleased videos and expanded interviews to this long-OOP video collection first released in the dark, dark days of 1986.  I know nothing about Dokken – never have, never will – but I figured this would be of interest to one or more of our readers.

-Paul Gaita

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Pretty slim pickings this week in El Mundo del Sleaze, though that’s not to say that the cupboard is bare for DVD creeps with cash to burn. Borat (Fox) is probably the must-get item this time around, even though it’s technically NOT Garbage Island material – I have to admit that I’m one of the eight or nine people on the continental United States who hasn’t seen the movie, but I imagine Sleazegrinder could say a thing or two in its favor. Sleaze?

Verrra nice. The extras are pretty paltry (my guess is there’s a 2-disc set on the way, so save your Kaziksthani rubles), but the bit in the ‘propaganda’ section where Borat wrestles Conan O’Brien to the ground to harvest his pubic hair is practically worth the price of admission. -Sleaze

Aside from Borat, I’d lay down my long green for Private School (Universal), which is easily one of the definitive Stupid Teen Sex Comedies of the ‘80s. You’ve got guys in drag trying to get laid, lame jokes, Phoebe Cates (who sings two songs on the soundtrack), Sylvia Kristel, Brinke Stevens, and the glorious sight of a naked Betsey Russell riding a horse. Honestly, what’s a better use of your money – gas for your car, or Private School? If you can’t answer that one correctly, please exit this site immediately.

And if Private School whets your dirty little appetite for ‘80s fodder, you can also pick up Night of the Comet from MGM and two multi-disc sets devoted to the Revenge of the Nerds franchise. The former is likable enough junk about two dippy Valley Girls (Reagan-era faves Catherine Mary Stewart and Kelli Maroney) who survive the apocalypse and tangle with mad scientists Geoffrey Lewis and Mary Woronov; the latter should be familiar to every red-blooded American on this planet. No extras come with the Comet disc, but the Nerds sets are chock full of features: the four-disc “Atomic Wedgie Collection” (with its fetching cover) offers the first two theatrical features and the less-than-stellar TV-movie follow-ups (RotN III: The Next Generation and Nerds in Love), as well as commentary by and interviews with stars Robert Carradine, Timothy Busfield, and the always-great Curtis Armstrong, and the ghastly Revenge of the Nerds TV pilot. Those with less money to toss at nerds can pick up the more budget-minded “Panty Raid Edition”, which has just the first (and best) film, but all the extras from the Atomic Wedgie Collection. I can’t believe I just wrote the words “atomic wedgie” more than once, so let’s stop here.

Ooh, Scary Dept: The Manitou, which is easily one of the most demented horror movies to come out of the ‘70s (and that’s saying a lot), arises from the OOP crypt courtesy Anchor Bay Directed by William (Grizzly, Three on a Meathook) Girdler, The Manitou pits an all out-of-work cast (including Tony Curtis, Stella Stevens, Michael Ansara, and Burgess Meredith) against Felix Silla (Cousin Itt) in a rubbery Native American costume as a 400-year-old medicine man who is reborn through a tumor in Susan Strasberg’s neck. Check out my review for all the ridiculous details, but take my word, it’s a “must-be-seen-to-be-believed” title.  Also on deck: Euro Fiends from Beyond the Grave (Image/retromedia), a triple bill of Italian terror pics from the ’60s and ‘70s, and yes, this was also the title of a four-movie set from Image and Retromedia that was released in 2005. The difference is that Fangs of the Living Dead and Blood Castle are out (too bad), and the lesser-known Red-Headed Corpse is in, along with returnees The Faceless Monster (with Barbara Steele – hotcha!) and the psychedelic Satanik (about a scientist who becomes a homicidal beauty after drinking a rejuvenation formula). Image’s press material says that Faceless is uncut, but look, we all know that “uncut” means different things to different people, so don’t start bitching that Satanik is missing 3 seconds of footage that was included in the Zimbabwe DVD release. I don’t care – I just wanna enjoy the movie.

Let’s wrap up the horror section, shall we? Ed Gein: The Butcher of Plainfield (Lions Gate) stars king-sized Kane Hodder as the diminutive, elderly Gein, so clearly, the producers are going for gore over verite. On the other hand, it does co-star Michael Berryman, so maybe it’s worth a look. Requiem (IFC) is a German thriller about the true story of Annelise Michel, a young girl who died during a Catholic exorcism, and yes, this is the same story that served as the basis for The Exorcism of Emily Rose. Death Row (Anchor Bay) is the made-for-cable spook show Haunted Prison, which is about a camera crew trapped in a haunted prison (natch); this idea’s gone through at least half a dozen permutations in the last couple of decades (I seem to remember Destroyer, with Lyle Alzado and Anthony Perkins, having the same premise), so I guess my advice is to drink a lot of beer before watching this one. And lastly, Strange Circus (TLA) is a Japanese thriller about a wheelchair bound novelist who’s writing a graphically violent story about family abuse which may or may not be based on her own experiences.

Also: That One Night – Live in Buenos Aires (Image) is Megadeth in concert from 2005; apparently, the sound mix is much better than on previous DVDs, but you’ll be the judge of that, won’t you? Last Man Standing: Jerry Lee Lewis (Artist First) is a filmed private concert featuring the septuagenarian Killer performing tunes from his most recent CD (of the same name) and plenty of Sun classics, while Canned Heat: Live at Montreux 1973 (Eagle Vision) is a two-disc set that offers a documentary on the white-boy boogie monsters, along with the previously released concert DVD which has the band playing with the late, great Clarence “Gatemouth” Brown. Oh, and King Kung Fu (Image) is a ‘70s-era pop culture parody (with martial arts and the ’76 King Kong being the primary targets) produced by a Kansas-based commercial company, and which has the singular charm of being one of the most universally hated movies ever made. Enjoy!

Sleaze also suggests: The Cult (Maverick), about some hot chicks and like, and evil cult, and Decoys - The Second Seduction (Sony), the sequel to the brilliant sci-fi sexploitation mash-up about sexy college girls who are actually tentacled aliens here to breed with our men-folk. Sweet.

If your employment record is as spotty as mine, chances are you’ve been forced to bite the bullet and sell off some, if not all of your DVDs at one time or another. I wiped out my whole thousand-plus collection back in ’99 or so (and the ex said it hurt HER when I did it – but that’s another story), and I’ve been rebuilding that stockpile, title by title, ever since. Well, if you’re in the same boat, Blue-underground is coming to your rescue this week with a truckload of reissues from Anchor Bay’s back catalog. At the top of that list: Dario Argento’s seminal giallo Deep Red and Inferno, both featuring interviews with the director (and other behind-the-scenes personnel, in the case of Deep Red). Also worth your dough: Shock, one of the final features from Italian horror legend Mario Bava; the creepy Autopsy, starring ’60s American hot blonde Mimsy Farmer (Riot on Sunset Strip); and two from Lucio Fulci: Don’t Torture a Duckling, an early, sleazy (and surprisingly coherent) thriller and his later and totally berserk Italian zombie splatterthon City of the Living Dead (a.k.a. Gates of Hell), which still sets stomachs to churning with its images of drills buzzing through skulls, victims spewing up their own guts, and a shower of living maggots. All discs are presented in widescreen and offer original U.S. and international trailers and radio spots. Like I said, if you’re missing these essential titles in your digital booty pile, here’s your chance to fill in those gaps.

While we’re on the Eurosleaze tip, Dark Sky Films moves another step closer to Favorite DVD Company (at least in my book) with their release of Jess Franco’s Count Dracula. Fans of the source material will be pleased to see that Franco’s story hews fairly close to the Bram Stoker book (even to the point of utilizing some of its dialogue), and Christopher Lee’s Count is made to resemble the elderly nobleman in the book. But Franco being Franco, he can’t help but layer on the weirdness, which means lots of scenes with Klaus Kinski as Renfield rolling around in his padded cell, and the sexual aspects of the story are highlighted, especially by Franco’s then-girlfriend Soledad Miranda as Mina. Still, it’s a fairly classy presentation (for Franco), and a welcome addition to the DVD fold (having been previously available only on bootleg or crappy-looking VHS). Extras include a featurette on the making of the film, an interview with ol’ Jess about his theories on vampires (hoo boy), and a bit with Lee reading the Stoker book.

And one mo’ Eurocult title to see this week: Lucio Fulci’s Perversion Story (a.k.a. One on Top of the Other), which gets the dee-luxe double-disc treatment from Severin. Those looking for gallons of gore from Fulci here might be disappointed to find instead a cool and cruel thriller about a deadly ménage a trois between a doctor (Jean Sorel), his wife (Elsa Martinelli) and his mistress (molto hot Marisa Mell). You don’t need to be Sherlock Holmes to figure out what happens next, but if you like your Italian fare on the sexy-slinky side (with a heapin’ helping of violence), you’ll be mighty happy with Perversion Story (and really, can you resist a movie with that title?). Severin’s presentation includes the original trailer and a separate disc of Riz Ortolani’s groove-delic score. Yummy.

Also on deck: I’ve never found Tenacious D to be as hilarious as others claim, but their feature debut, Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny (New Line) has its moments, especially in its opening mini-opera, which manages to bring together Meat Loaf and Ronnie James Dio. And for that alone, it’s probably worth a look see. Same goes for Cool It, Carol! from Image, a smutty bit of Swinging Seventies London from Pete Walker (House of Whipcord, The Confessional), and Vci's gorilla-my-dreams double bill of The Bride and the Beast and The White Gorilla. The latter title is just nutty jungle nonsense, but the former, thanks to a script by Edward D. Wood Jr., is camp insanity of the highest order, including several references to angora sweaters (Ed’s fave) and a dream sequence that is truly jaw-dropping.

On the Asian front, there’s Prayer Beads (Dark Sky), a collection of nine interlinked short horror films from special effects designer and cinematographer Masahiro Okano, who directs and/or supervises all nine episodes. Expect a lot of graphic J-horror ugliness from it, and from the One Missed Call Pack (Tokyo Shock), which compiles both of the supernatural horror films (about a string of phone calls that spell doom for their recipients). Takashi Miike directed the first film, which is the strongest of the pair; catch ‘em both before the inevitable American remake.

Slush Pile/Grab Bag: The Return (Universal) is an underdone supernatural revenge pic with Sarah Michelle Gellar and the by-now-typical “alternate ending” on the DVD; Chainsaw Sally (Shock-o-Rama), a gore-soaked indie about a traumatized librarian who turns saw-wielding avenger when the sun goes down; Killer Drag Queens on Dope (Laguna Productions), with Alexis Arquette as said drag queen; and on the pure groin fodder front, Playboy: Girls of World Soccer (Playboy) and Extreme Chickfights: Barely Legal (Image).

- Paul Gaita

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Bonus: Sleaze says: If you’re on the hunt for cheap thrills this week, check out Night of the Living Dorks (Anchor Bay), a gory German teen zom-com (that’s right, German comedy. The mind reels) and Open Water 2 (Lion’s Gate), which is about a bunch of yuppie dopes who dive off their yacht in the middle of the ocean to go for a swim but forget to drop their fucking ladder first. Oh, and for XXX kicks, check out Lady Scarface, starring Carmen Luvana (Adam and Eve). I have not watched it yet, but they gave me a handful of $1000 bills with Carmen’s face on them. I think I will buy a new car with them. A sexy car. For more information on this important development in the career arc of Ms Luvana, check out www.ladyscarface.com.

 -Sleazegrinder _________________________________________________________