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So, what happens when you’re supposed to review a special two-disc collector’s
edition porno and you only receive the second disc – the one with all the extras
– in the mail? Well, if you’re me, you’re not that upset, because you’ve got a
lot of porn to review, so not having to watch all three hours of feature
hardcore action won’t slow you down too bad or wear you out too quickly. On the
other hand, it doesn’t leave you much to go with – just some behind the scenes
shenanigans, a bonus scene, trailers, photo gallery, and a cum fiesta, which is
essentially a five minute collection of the feature’s best parts. Plus there’s
the packaging too, so that’s something. Anyway, feature or no feature, I’ve got
a job to do, so here we go.
Courtney Cummz is on the cover. She looks a lot like Britney Spears. So, if
you’ve ever wondered what Britney would be like in porn (and I know you have),
maybe this is your chance to find out in a use-your-imagination kind of way. The
photos on the back show some rather promising scenarios, including a few
two-girl scenes, cop uniforms, rubber gloves, pink dildos, even pinker assholes,
poolside action, and roadside attraction. If the packaging is any indication,
this one’s got plenty of colorful action.
The highlight of disc two is probably the bonus scene. Sure, it’s not the same
as the three-hour marathon of anal atrocities that appears on disc one, but at
least it’s something. Besides, it stars Jennifer, who looks exactly some sort of
Harlequin romance cover model hybrid of Jennifer Aniston and Jennifer Esposito.
Hot damn. There’s also the cum fiesta, which is perfect for you two-minute Toms
who don’t have time for the plot and prefer to scan right to the money shots.
It’s like watching the sports highlight packages on the 10:00 news; you get to
see the teams score without watching the game itself. Be warned though, this is
an anal porn, so there’s just as much throbbing red assholes shitting out brown
cum here as there is facials and snowballs. But I imagine you’ll get a kick out
that kind of thing if you’re into anal anyway.
All in all, Anal Cavity Search looks pretty good, even if I haven’t seen it yet.
- Subculture Hero
Buy it here!
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