No. Some of ‘em make out a little first, tho. Otherwise, I have no idea where the “romance” comes in, but that’s ok. Like Ozzy, I say “Goodbye to Romance”, and probably also like Ozzy, I say, asses up!

In any decent anal movie these days, you need at least one scene featuring the awesome floppy-titted, salmon-mouthed thunderbunny Haley Paige. Her generous, seemingly bottomless uh, bottom is the perfect receptacle for oversized male genitalia, and you can see a fine example of it here, as Haley quite casually wakes up Mr Holmes from his sofa-bound nap by sitting down, sphincter-first, on his nose. Awesome. And the Romance? Well, he mighta gagged her a few times along the way.

Elsewhere, tiny Ashlee Simpson lookalike Tiffany Hopkins gets ass-boned in a pool, and the hot-secretary-gone-wild looking blonde Isabelle Ice faces off with Holmes dressed as a vampire pimp. He takes off his belt, wraps it around her neck, and tugs. Romantic! Also, Tiffany Mynx jiggles her gigantic tits a lot, and Michelle Banks does her best to look like the ethnic Gia Paloma. Only without the cellulite.

Oh boy, and for some high-octane surrealism, check out the ‘behind the scenes’ bit where Haley Paige sits in the make-up chair and discusses her plans to get a doctorate degree in Psychology. True to form, Steve Holmes reacts to the news by jamming his slimy tongue down her throat.

Proctology might be a better route, Haley. Go with what you know.