French snakecharmer Manuel Ferrara scores big time with this dizzying, all anal, all Euro ass fest. Dunno exactly where it was shot, but it was certainly in the old country, as evidenced by the impressive rolling green fields of the first scene and the ancient looking stone walls of the dungeon in the last. As with all (ok, all I’ve seen, anyway) Ferrera productions, the camerawork is fluid and artful, the women are hot like the sun, and there’s a real sense of folks really getting their rocks off, which must be that permissive Euro attitude kicking in. Like the title says, it’s an ‘expedition’, which means we’re goin’ as deep into the anal cavities of these foreign beauties as we possibly can, so bring your flashlight. And maybe some spare underwear.

In the first scene, Mega sex star Mandy Bright and the voluptuous brunette thundergirl Sandra Romaine are tangling on a blanket in some endless green expanse on a warm, sun-drenched afternoon. Seems Mandy’s been fuckin’ Sondra’s man, so she gets her revenge by slapping Mandy’s face and tits, and spitting on her. She kisses her a lot too, which makes for mixed signals, if you ask me. “I am going to fuck your ass”, Sondra warns in heavily accented English. “But first, you will eat my poosy!” Sondra straps on a Steve Holmes dildo and analyzes Miss Bright, with passion and mock-anger. It’s pretty fuckin’ great. Then Manuel- the boyfriend in question, I reckon- shows up, and tames these two she-wolves into mewling kittens. At one point, Manny shoves the dildo he’s been using on Sondra too far down Mandy’s throat, and she throws up all over it. To her credit, she has the decorum not to put it back in Sondra’s ass. Later on, Mandy rides a rubber cock that is literally the size of a big black horse, and Manuel decides it would look equally as good halfway up Sondra’s anal cavity. I would have never thought, in a million (ok, hundred) years, that you could fit something of that size in somebody’s asshole, but goddamn, if it don’t fit. I hope they had the local pièce de secours on speed dial.

There’s plenty more, of course, 4 scenes worth of double anal, triple penetration, ass to mouth, and a crazy-sexy-cool group orgy in a dungeon for the climax, all of which feature juicy pink sphincters stretched to their limits, but I almost never get that far, ya know? You’ve gotta save Mandy Bright for the end, if you want a full and thorough inspection. Suffice to say, it’s good stuff.

So, what have we learned from this sordid expedition to the back, er…darkside? Three things, really. European girls can smuggle whole hams in their asses, if they need to; that is some fuckin’ airbrush/make-up job they did on Tina Wagner for the cover; and Mandy Bright is the Queen of Hardcore. That’s more than I learned on any class trip expedition to the local quarry, that’s for sure.

One of the best parts of this DVD has got to be the bonus “behind the scenes” footage, if only to see Mandy Bright prancing around in curlers like a housefrau, and to hear Manuel’s jive explanations for the thinly scripted sex scenes. “Oh it’ll be romantic”, he promises at one point. “C’mon, I’m French!” Ferrara has a serious eye for finding some of the hottest women ever, and the fast-talking patois to somehow convince them to be filmed with giant dildos in their assholes. As he tells the camera while cinching up Mandy Bright’s corset, “I know, you hate me.” Really, though, he’s one of the most likeable porn producers around. Hell, I’d even hang out with him if I didn’t think he’d get me thrown into divorce court within an hour. There’s also bonus tease/masturbation scenes with all the girls (‘cept Mandy and Sandra), and the ever helpful cumshot recap. A nice package, and well worth the dollars. Or Euros, whatever.

-Sleazegrinder

Click to buy Anal Expedition at the Bad Girl City Superstore!