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Little Miss Risk:
A Conversation with Tristan
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Vancouver-based model and performer
Tristan
Risk says I shouldn't be afraid of her, but I'm not too sure about
that.
Beneath Tristan's
Deadly Nightshade exterior, however, is a wry and intelligent woman who
was kind enough to share her thoughts on any stupid subject I threw at
her, including her unholy affection for Bruce Campbell, her desire to
spank Michael Bay, and her struggle with the mysterious affliction know as
DSA. On top of everything else, it turns out that she's a good sport.
Damn her! |
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 Okay, so I'm looking at
photos of you online, and there are shots of you with swords and black
leather and blood running from your mouth. Is there any reason that I
should be afraid of you?Nah. I'm about as scary as someone who's 5'4 can be. I don't have intimidating Manson-like height or Danzig-like width, so I need to rely on other means, whether it be a little blood or a lot of sword. Judging from recent events, we think you could take Danzig. Regardless, you are the third gorgeous Canadian model we've encountered in recent months. What's going on with the gene pool in your country? Must be something in the water. I frequently
hear about the "Hot Canuck" phenomenon. I think it must have something to
do with the wholesale consumption of maple sugar, hockey, beer, and moose.
Either way, you don't hear me complaining... I have a little problem when I get drunk: it's a term coined by Johnniemonster who calls it Drunken Scottish Autopilot. |
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Apparently, or so I'm told, when I've had my
take at an open bar back when I used to drink, I'd slur my words, get a
little belligerent and make a nuisance of myself. What some people would
call as being an obnoxious drunk, my friends refer to as DSA Syndrome.
Aside from that, I can't say there are any features that really come
directly from nature versus nurture. Here's what I got from my arts degree from Emerson College: the ability to score free DVDs and a $15,000 debt. Tell me what your degree in Visual Arts (from the Langley College of Fine Arts) has done for you. A certificate in my closet and the ability to impress people by pointing out post-impressionist fauvists. It's not something that pays the bills, but I can at least appreciate visual art at a show or museum from a different point of view. So it wasn't a complete waste of time. And everyone tells me I've the best finger paintings of anyone they've ever met, but then again, they're maybe just being polite. So what put you on the path that eventually created Tristan Risk, burlesque dancer, fetish model, Princess of Darkness? I think there wasn't a time when I wasn't this
way, in my brain at least, but it was towards the last years of high
school that my inner fetish model became an outer one. I started to meet
more people in the community, and just got a chance to develop into what I
always wanted to be. I've also always loved old Hollywood movies too, and
the glamour with Cyd Charisse
and
Sally Rand. So that's the burlesque
influence. More recently, Dita Von Teese has become a big influence on me
as well. |
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Is it more fun to do a photo shoot
when you're in lingerie or when you're carrying a broad sword or hanging
around with zombies? We-ell, both have their ups and downs. Lingerie is fun, unless it's the dead of winter, and you're doing a location shoot where your freezing your buns off and everyone else is bundled up. Zombies are great to shoot with, since the result is visually interesting. However, it does require patience, since they take awhile to do, make-up wise. Usually, once their make up is done, someone's ordered pizza by that time, and the shoot goes on hold while everyone eats. After which, the make up artist (who's been standing next to the zombies the whole time) looks them up and down, announces they've mucked up their mouths, and hauls them back into the chairs for another twenty minutes. |
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So, if I've nothing else to do in a day, the
zombie shoot, but if I'm in a rush, lingerie.
I do two types of shows, the Sugar ones or the Spice.
The Sugar shows are more traditional, using music predominantly from the
'40s and some classic props such as powder puffs, feather fans, and
backlit screens. The Spice shows are a little darker and unconventional. I
can be a succubus stealing a young woman's fantasy,
Elizabeth Bathory, or a blood-spitting zombie. My zombie strip
tease is one of the most popular, with me taking off half my costume, and
then layers of skin. Undead sexiness! Far out. You're also a musician. Tell us about
that. Not so much. I play piano and guitar, but not well
enough to make a career out of. My best instrument is my voice, which has
a pretty good range. It's been awhile since I did any work on stage
singing, but I'm always keen to perform. |
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What's in constant rotation in your
CD player? Tough one. I toggle between Marilyn Manson and Peggy Lee. What sort of music could drive you from a room? Hip-hop. It makes me nuts having it penetrate every media out there at the moment when it does nothing for me but give me a headache. Put on a Nelly song and you'll not see my hide for dust. I think even Nelly feels that way about his music. Now, if you weren't busy enough, you're in a new movie called Slasher Flick. Yup. A fine publication by the name of Fangoria
did an article on it online a while back. Slasher Flick's my first
feature. I play a nasty dominatrix type who likes to videotape everything
for prosperity. Classic Romero stuff, the Evil Dead Trilogy, Versus, Ringu, and as bad as it is, Pet Semetary. It's pretty bad. What's your opinion on the recent rash of horror movie remakes? |
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Bad director! Bad! Bad! Bad! No,
seriously, these guys need a spanking. The recent Texas Chainsaw
remake almost made me cry, it was that bad. Michael Bay ought to be
slapped for producing such trash. Tobe Hooper must be spinning in
his grave (actually, Tobe's still alive- PG) while
these guys eat at the Hollywood Trough. Leave a classic alone. You don't
see people flocking out to remake Citizen Kane, do you? Not that I
have a deep-seated issue with this or anything... Explain the obsession with Bruce Campbell. What's to explain? The guy's a legend. He's in many of my favourite movies, I dig the Chin, and he's going through so many wives, why not throw my name in the hat? It'd be like being part of an exclusive club, I'm sure much the same way being Hugh Hefner's girlfriend puts you that much closer to other Playboy Bunnies. Besides, Marilyn Manson is spoken for, and wouldn't be interested in me. |
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I wouldn't be too sure. Have you
met some of your fans? What's the demographic breakdown? Any memorable
weirdos? Yes. I've gotten to meet a few fans, usually after doing a show. Most are very sweet, almost all freaks to a certain degree, but that's reassuring. I'm not sure how well I'd react if a group of bankers came out to see me. No one's been creepy or rude, which is a relief. I'd hate to have to smack someone who enjoys what I do. If you could stalk anyone, who would it be? We've established Bruce Campbell, but I'd also love to stalk Marilyn Manson and Dita Von Teese, Warren Ellis, Angelina Jolie, and possibly the guys from Crystal Pistol. Only problem is, I'm sure their groupies would skin me alive! Which leads me to a very important question from fellow Canadian resident Jeff Warren: Whatever happened to Crystal Pistol? They just got back from L.A. and they're now in
the studio working on some new material. I'm planning on going to their
show on Halloween at The Media Club. |
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Sexy. Countess Dracula or Ilsa? Dracula. I've got the "Go Team Dracula" shirt somewhere. What's the one thing that people would be surprised that you own? A copy of Colin Powell's biography. |
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PG: What's the most evil thing you've
ever done to someone who deserved it? When I was five, I watched a lady at the beach putting on suntan
lotion for a good twenty minutes. When she was done, I stuck one foot in
the sand, and then flicked a footful of sand all over her. Don't tell me
you haven't thought about doing the same thing when you've seen something
similar. I think most nasty things I do to people are justified. Right on. When they finally make the Tristan Risk biopic, who's going to play you? Also, give us the title and the poster tag line. I'd love to see Rose McGowan play me. I think she could pull the role off better than I could. The title might be either The Death of Hilary Duff or Curtain Call, which, admittedly sounds like a porn flick. A good tagline might be "Wait 'til the curtain rises..." or "Danger is my business." |
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If readers want to send you e-mail, proposals, items of worship, or severed fingers, how can they do it? I have a human soul containment unit somewhere, but they can always drop me a line at littlemissrisk@hotmail.com. Final words, thoughts, curses, apocalyptic visions? Support your local rock shows. Love your
bands. Don't eat things that have fallen on the floor. |
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For all things Tristan, visit
Little Miss Risk!
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Bad Girl City Home Sleaze Home |
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| Pix courtesy Tristan Risk | |