Bill Idol - S/T (Chrysalis, 1982)
Current Gemm price: $3.04-$43.50
By: Pepsi Sheen
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...Ya always hear these wet behind the ears punk-babies pipe up with their twelfth-hand opinions that Generation X's debut was their best album, but Billy Joe Armstrong's dead wrong about this one, kids. OBVIOUSLY, their finest hour was, indeed, "INTO THE VALLEY OF THE DOLLS".
 
OK, now I'll probably fuck half of this historical shit up, in spite of comin' on, all hardcore Mr. Know It All; cos my chronological memory IS absolutely shot. (*YOU little shits try 'n' remember every last trivial rock nuance after drinking, at least, a fifth of whiskey, everyday, for 13 years!) But here's MY blurred twelfth-hand account : After that astoundingly great, IAN HUNTER produced master-piece, their splendid and graceful ace-guitar hero, BOB "DERWOOD" ANDREWS had become obsessed with "Zen & The Art Of Motorcycle Maintenance", and gave his notice, while they were in the midst of working on their third album, "Sweet Revenge". JOHN MCGEOCH from SIOUXSIE & THE BANSHEES and STEVE NEW from the RICH KIDS were brought in to help IDOL out with the guitars, until finally, Derwood was replaced by JAMES STEVENSON from CHELSEA ,who later played, I believe, with GENE LOVES JEZEBEL during their MTV heyday. Drummer, MARK LAFF, was also given his walking papers when Billy Idol and future SPACEBOSS, TONY J., decided he was "too heavy metal", and he went on to form EMPIRE with Derwood, and was replaced with ex-Clash drummer, TERRY CHIMES. 
 
They were suing their management and experiencing all kinds of personnel problems, as everybody was fucked up on drugs in England back then, except for TONY JAMES, apparently. Luckily, they were signed to Chrysalis, and had a producer named KEITH FORSEY, (a Giorgio Moroder disco-protégée) who went on to soundtrack all the eighties teen flicks that still drive doomed old guys like me call up girls who don't like to hear from him as much, since they got married; and Forsey TRIED to instill a sense of discipline and professionalism to the sessions, banning the "sleepier" substitute guitarists, but noted fuck-up, EX- PISTOL STEVE JONES was still "snuck-in" to add guitar to five tracks.
   
They eventually shelved much of the "Sweet Revenge" material, that's only recently seen release, and shortened their name to 90's media-hook, GEN X, and released the vastly under-rated, "KISS ME DEADLY", which also gets slagged off all the time by people who have no idea what they're talking about. They toured to support the album but we're crestfallen by it's chart performance that only ever cracked the top of the pops, and after going through all these changes and disarray, (and rehearsing with two ex-SEX PISTOLS, STEVE JONES and PAUL COOK, discussing the formation of a British punk rock supergroup) their label honcho from Chrysalis, contacted KISS Svengali BILL AUCOIN, about helping to salvage their once promising careers, but GEN X were destined for disintegration when their single, "DANCIN' WITH MYSELF", a glaringly-evident "perfect hit", failed to perform as expected. In spite of all this chaos and uncertainty, "KISS ME DEADLY" was still the home of such unassailable rock-candy classics, as "STARS LOOK DOWN", "UNTOUCHABLES", "HEAVEN'S INSIDE", and the original version of "DANCING WITH MYSELF. 

DO YOU REMEMBER PROMISES, PROMISES?
 
TONY JAMES went down the supergroup route for awhile, collaborating with JOHNNY THUNDERS & JERRY NOLAN and penning one of THE LORDS OF THE NEW CHURCH'S best songs, "RUSSIAN ROULETTE" before searching out four IDOL clones and forming SIGUE SIGUE SPUTNIK.
  
IDOL said "goodbye bozos" to the snotty English punk scene, and relocated to NY. KISS mgr. AUCOIN, promptly introduced him to a classically-trained flamenco guitar player, STEVE STEVENS, who looked like Johnny Thunders, and after initially being a bit put-off by one another's haircuts, but quickly discovering they both could agree about Lou Reed and Mick Ronson, they started writing new songs together in the guitarist's mom's basement. IDOL holed up with his old lady in a cramped, dingy apt., and was given  $250/wk. from Chrysalis to live on, and started making half-lidded appearances at NYC niteclubs every night to sponge up all those decadent Gotham vampire vibes. After issuing an E.P ("Don't Stop") of the song IDOL had lost his virginity to, Tommy James' "MONY MONY", and a cuppla boss GEN X remixes, that started getting heavy play in the discos, his primo-organization quickly sussed how American radio people were still loathe to embrace anything that whiffed of punk, besides Blondie-who were only hyphenated punk, at best, so they started releasing singles devoid of Billy's still incredibly-threatening, leather clad, spiky haired image, and midwestern ANDY TRAVIS-type radio jerks became more willing to spin his stuff. IDOL STILL LOVES to talk about how he REFUSED to comb his hair down to look more feathered and harmless like David Cassidy, but he DID make alot of ultimately savvy "concessions", as far as making a complete mockery of all his previous bands anthemic "Promises" and abandoning his romantic pop/plastic punk Generation X sound, for a balls-out, go for broke shot at stardom. Forsey, Idol, and Stevens co-created an entirely new brand of commercial hard rock made of blistering metal riffs, chiming new wave keyboards, and an urgent big city, dance-pulse. Cranky fuck you rock, with a sci-fi disco-throb, netted Billy three hits off the first album, and set the stage for worldwide platinum domination, with his follow-up "REBEL YELL". His wanking guitarist, STEVE STEVENS, was the poster-boy of  dive-bombing, whammy bar and special-effects-pedal abuse, but with disco-reptile, Keith Forsey at the board, they were able to create a whole new sonic-metal-disco, hybrid new wave sound, custom-tailored for urban dancefloors and the fledgling MTV, where his sleazy image would soon become his greatest asset. "WHITE WEDDING" and "DANCING WITH MYSELF" were both low-budget videos, co-starring the chameleon twins, Billy Idol, and his thrill hit red-head, Perri Lister- the magnetic gothic siren who helped him fire the seedy imaginations of white-bread America's excitement-deprived teenagers, paving the way for Madonna and Cyndi Lauper's lace and rosaries; and ten years of new-wave's obscenely mainstreamed fashion faux paus, and raising the value of hair-product stock worldwide. 

Billy Idol's snarling, fist-pumping, flash metal suicide-rockin' disco, and swaggering, Presley-esque crooning, energized a lame generation, and thankfully, liberated us all from Lionel Ritchie and Journey just in the nick of time. Meanwhile, back in England, Rotten and his old friends from the Bromley Contingent all rolled their eyes, pissed, ("Head Without A Brain"), but here in America, Billy was a SUPER HERO who empowered millions. HE CHANGED LIVES. You phonys in the audience tonight can go ahead and say whatchoo want, but Billy Idol REMAINS an anomalous anti-hero! A corporate buffoon, maybe, but an unrivaled, iconic ORIGINAL, too. Even in 2004, he's still a conversational flash-point, I mean, to many, he's a laughing-stock cartoon character, an oblivious sell-out parody, "Everybody's Fool" according to one bespectacled rock crit, but rock'n'roll motherfuckers are SUPPOSED to be cartoon characters. They're OUR HOLY FOOLS. If that White Wedding guitar intro don't make you wanna jump up and drive fast, or just do SOMETHING RAUNCHY, you ain't right, Jack! Chicks STILL love this cat, they still have to PRY him outta the Playboy mansion, to this day. If you meet a chick who doesn't immediately start dancin' all sexy, when she hears "HOT IN THE CITY", there is NO WAY she's gonna end up willingly hand-cuffed to your bed later tonight! I knew a guy named Clive from England once, that I got along with ok, because he was whip-smart, and a huge CLASH freak, but other then him, I tend to not like anybody-who don't like BILLY IDOL. He's sorta like classic VAN HALEN, in that regard-if you don't dig IDOL or ROTH, well, I already kinda know your folks voted Republican, you don't like whiskey, you've never been pool-hoppin' ,and you won't get my jokes. All the black kids I grew up with even liked BILLY IDOL. I remember riding around in my detention-hall buddy's father's Cadillac, all night one time, listening to the lascivious, twenty minute long remix of "White Wedding" with a couple of hot, full-grown WOMEN, when we were like 15 years old, passing 'round a big bottle of Tangueray, and when Officers Slickback and Donut pulled up beside us, out at the reservoir, where we were blastin' BILLY IDOL and gettin' to feel-up these broads, who were like, ten years older than us, the cops somehow--could hardly blame us! THEY were even somehow moved by the persistent riffs of "COME ON, COME ON!", to look past the fact that the underage driver in the stolen vehicle with the open containers was black. They poured out our booze, asked us to "keep it down" and let us go! THAT NEVER HAPPENS ANYMORE.
 
Smutty flash-metal come-ons like "Dead On Arrival" and "Nobody's Business" rock with all the raunchy authority of anybody's favorite, decidedly UN- pinup-friendly, hellraisers you care to name; while "Shooting Stars" and "It's So Cruel" and "Hole In The Wall" are seductively sequenced, slinky little new wave croons that do half the work for ya, if you're tryin' to make some girl who seems impossibly out of your league. Trust me, on this one. I GOT almost every chick I EVER thought was way, way too cool for me- and they all liked Billy Idol! It's nothing but a testament to his insanely rousing charisma that he was remotely even able to float half-baked shit like "CONGA MAN" or "LOVE CALLING"! BILLY IDOL didn't even need to write lyrics, man. He could just sing any ol' crazy shit off the top of his bleached head and make it work: "If you wanna rub a dub dub a dub, if you wanna rub dub dub, love/love calling-love calling/clap hands, clap hands- for the song man!"  I tell my girlfriend, "it's like haiku", when she's puzzled as to how I can justify diggin' this shit so much when all I do is rant about how rock'n'roll's goin' down the tubes, because there's no content anymore. "London calling to the underworld, Come out of the cupboard, all you boys and girls!" -Just admit it, cats and kittens-BILLY IDOL undeniably, DEFINES snarlingly defiant, rebelliously sexy, badass, rule breakin', good time rock'n'roll. He's one of the LAST REAL ROCKSTARS! Without him, we'd be fucked. If you've forgotten, GO BLAST THIS ALBUM UNTIL THE NEIGHBORS CALL! Have no shame. Flip off an authority figure, willya? Have a hotel party. Swagger up to that chick you're spooked by, and ask her what she's doing later on. "REBEL YELL" is even more inspiring. We can all use a good dose of BILLY IDOL in times like these, just to remind us what we felt like back when we still had feelings..

"Ohhh, how do I know?/It's because I believe
In a love that is so strong/It's a love crush number one!
If a love crush says come on/Come on, come on, come on, come on
Come on/Yea I said come on
Wow, I said come on/Come on, come on, come on come on!" 

Official Billy Idol website

-Pepsi "Rebel, yelling" Sheen
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