bitch

Just about every metal dude I knew in the mid-80’s (and I knew ‘em ALL, brother) had this record, as well as Bitch’s first EP, “Damnation Alley”. I’m not sure that anybody ever listened to the fuckin’ things, but it sure was fun staring at the covers. If ever there was a band that capitalized on the “sex sells” shtick, it was Bitch, who plastered their albums with slutty pics of their singer, the eyeliner-smeared S&M pain-queen, Betsy Bitch. By ’87, she was using her Christian name, Betsy Weiss, and dropped the leather-slut image completely (which is probably one o’ the reasons yr scratching your head to remember these cats), but in the early 80’s, she shamelessly flaunted her freckle-flecked tits to thousands of drooling, 15 year old long-haired creeps, and it worked a charm.

Bitch was formed in 1980 by guitarist David Carruth (ex-Bad Axe). After auditioning a slew of be-balled screechers, Carruth opted for Betsy, who had just quit a ska-band called the Boxboys, because “they wanted me to skank”, as she said in a recent Metal Exiles interview. “I like to play up my sexuality on stage, and they wanted the opposite. I fled that band in horror”. My kinda girl. Carruth was friends with future Metal Blade kingpin Brian Slagel, who was just putting his label together at the time. They appeared on the seminal first volume of the Metal Massacre compilation (1981), which also featured the likes of Metallica, Cirith Ungol, and Avatar (later Savatage), and a year later, Metal Blade released the raw, crunching “Damnation Alley” EP. Along the way, Bitch had garnered a rabid local following, due in no small part to Betsy’s leather n’ latex bondage outfits, and her onstage routine, which involved whipping ‘slaves’ yanked from the crowd, and other such kinky gimmicks. Many years later, goth-dustrial bands like the Genitorturers and the Nuns would cop Betsy’s routine and take it to bloody, pornographic extremes, but at the time, Bitch was about as sexy as rock n’ roll was gonna get.

Meanwhile, a dramatically active metal scene had erupted all around Bitch. Slayer’s first gig was opening for them, and they routinely shared stages with the likes of WASP, Armored Saint, Steeler, Motley Crue, and Ratt. Surprisingly, during this feeding frenzy, when major labels were handing out contracts to every gang of guitar toting trannies on Sunset strip, Bitch stuck with the fiercely independent Metal Blade, releasing their first full-length, “Be My Slave” in 1983.

“Be My Slave” still LOOKS like it’s gonna be the greatest fuckin’ album ever. Betsy’s on her knees on the cover, draped head to toe in spikes n’ leather, surrounded by S&M gear, beckoning you with one crooked finger, and wielding a whip with her other hand. On the back, bass player Mark Anthony Webb is sporting the coolest honcho mustache ever, and the expression on his face suggests that he’s ripped to the tits on trucker speed, and every song is titled like a strong come-on- “In Heat”, “Gimmie a Kiss”, “Be My Slave”, etc. I still can’t think of another album that looks quite as rock n’ fucking roll as “Be My Slave” does. Musically, it doesn’t quite live up to it’s own hype- how could it, really? – but amidst all the iron-fisted flash metal, there are a few choice tracks. “Leatherbound” reveals Betsy’s hardcore Runaways influence, and it’s a sexy, hard-as-nails rocker with a slinky

cock rock chorus. “Riding in Thunder” is fulla hammerhead metal riffs and a dramatic, howling vocal performance from Betsy. “Heavy Metal Breakdown” is punky proto-speed metal, and scores extra points for having ‘heavy metal’ in the title, and the similarly themed “Make it Real (Make it Rock)” is a screamy bludgeon-rock meltdown. Overall, though, “Be My Slave” sounds a lot like Pat Benatar fronting Motley Crue, which is only half as entertaining as it sounds, and I’m pretty sure that you’d have to be blessed/cursed with ‘metal ears’ to find this ‘un listenable at all. Cue Stacey cringing when I tell her I’m gonna blast the Bitch album for the next cuppla hours.

After “Be My Slave”, the band found themselves embroiled in “management” issues which kept ‘em off the scene until 1987, when they released the underwhelming “The Bitch is Back”, featuring a chugging, pseudo-power metal versh of the Elton John title song, a naked (sorta) Betsy in hairspray hell on the cover, and precious little else. Heavy metal had changed dramatically by that point, and Bitch still sounded like…well, like Bitch. A year later, they re-dubbed themselves Betsy, figuring it was the “Bitch” name holding ‘em back from radio airplay and national success. Not the tragically dated melodic glam metal, mind you, the name. Ahem. Seeing the error of their ways, they went back to bein’ Bitch for another album, ‘89’s “A Rose by Any Other Name”, but by then, everybody had already gone on to other diversions. It was pretty much impossible for both Bitch and Big Black to be operating in the same musical universe, so one of ‘em had to go, ya know? So away Bitch went.

Can’t keep a good bitch (or even a mediocre one, apparently) down, tho. In July of 2003, Bitch reunited for a one-off gig at the "Bang Your Head” festival in Germany. Betsy still looked hot, the band played all their clunky ol’ rockers, and a whole new crop of horny, denim vest wearing dirtbags cheered wildly and screamed for Betsy to show her tits. So far, the band has yet to record again, but if ya still got it, why not flaunt it? My guess is, you’ll be hearing from Betsy and the boys again.

As for “Be My Slave”, well, it still gives me a headache. However, it also still gives me a hard-on, which is a lot more than most of these cheesy old records give me, so I salute ‘em anyway.

Bang Your Head 2003 Betsy pic by Bernd Joachim
Bitch CD's available from Metal Blade
Betsy Interview at Metal Maidens
Porn Star that oughta play Betsy in the Bitch Movie: Ariana Jollee

-Sleazegrinder
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