Diamond Rexx- Land of the Damned (Island, 1986)
Current Gemm price: $3.30- $37.01
Price I paid: $1.99 at Second Coming  records, Cambridge
Worth: $10
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I should point out that I didn’t actually hear Diamond Rexx until a couple of years ago. Sure, I was well aware of their tawdry existence, as I’ve seen this rekkid in the ‘metal’ bin of every record store I’ve ever been to since it was first released, but you know how it goes. In the mid-80’s I was down with the wild beast throb of Zodiac and the lustmetal of Rogue Male and mebbe the Satanic thrasharama of Slayer, or somethin’, so a mouthy glam metal band- especially one lumped in with puffballs like Poison or fuckin’ Trixter or whoever- just wouldn’t have made a manly enuff meal for me back then. Turns out DR weren’t really hairmetal goofballs after all, though. Oops. Better late then never, right?

Any band formed by dudes that call ‘emselves “Nasti Habits” (vox) and “SS Lust” (guitars) has gotta have some degree of rawk super power to them, and despite 17 bands’ worth of ex-members and whole slew of redoubtable record deals, these lipstick lunatics really did rock-out-with-their-cocks-out, at least for one bright, shining moment. The Chicago-based ‘glam-thrashers’ formed in 1985, which means they crashed the hairspray metal party during it’s prime. Rife with cats who not only had porn star names, but actually looked like XXX starlets- the crack-addled, piss drinkin’ ones, but still- D. Rexx were an impressive enuff freakshow to get signed to Island in ’86, after only their first handful of live gigs. I dunno if it was part of the plan or not, but DR were one of the few major label glam metal bands that actually aspired to sounding as sleazy as they looked, thrashing and trashing out a sonic stew of raw, Crue-infleunced speed glam with all the wild abandon of snarly punk band. This mighta proved to be their undoing, however, as the bright pink, punk-powered flash metal cannonball of a record they shot off later that year, “Land of the Damned”, failed to do the kinda arena-wrecking damage they hoped it would.

Aside from Nasti’s ear-popping screech, “Land of the Damned” still remains a pretty fuckin’ bad ass record, I gotta admit. Standouts include “All I Need”, which sounds like Johnny Rotten auditioning for Skid Row, the chest-thumping grunt-along power rock of “Don’t Start Without Me”, the full-throttle cock n’ roll of “Rock Gun”, and the righteously sleazy punk metal of growling closer “Life and Death”. And best of all, not a pussy ballad- power or otherwise – in sight. Of course, it all sounds kinda dated now, but you could do so much worse for retro-metal kicks that I almost feel bad for calling these Revlon abusers a Flash Metal Suicide at all. But then I realize that I’m talking about a band called Diamond Rexx, who's wardrobe consisted of zebra skin spandex, pink lace, and plastic chains. And then I don’t feel bad about it at all.

Anyway, after “Land” fizzled with the mall-glamsters, Island dropped the band, and they didn’t surface again until three years later, with the ham-fisted “Rated Rexx” (Red Light). SS Lust had bailed for the poppier confines of D’Molls, and one “Johnny Angel” (no, not that one, and not THAT one, either) was recruited to grind the ol’ axe. Apparently the fucker thought he was in Judas Priest or somethin’, because aside from the bitchin’ “Sleaze Patrol”, “Rated Rexx” is a Lizzy Borden style glunka-glunka metal record, with most of the punky raunch squeezed out, in favor of the straight-ahead headbanger stuff. But, you know, that didn’t work either, so SS returned in ’91 for the back-to-basics “Golden Gates” (also Red Light). But by then, well, it was pretty fuckin’ obvious that glam metal was deader n’ a doorknob by 1991. So they broke up again.

Sensing an imminent flash metal revival in 2001 (What? Who toldya that?!) DR mainsluts Nasti Habits and SS Lust roped in a cuppla like-minded sidemen and reformed the band in 2001, releasing “Rexx Erected” (clever!) on vintage-metal revivalist label Crash later that year. They are still together, having released a reunion follow-up “The Evil” in late 2002 (“Adult web-cam model” Raven stares blankly at ya one the cover, so at least the fellas are keeping up with things in the cheapjack slutty chick department), and appear to have no plans for slowing down, even though they say stuff about being “Matured, with a clean-cut focus” now in their self-penned bio, which sounds to me like the exact point when you oughta quit the sleaze metal and actually do something “mature”. But whatever.

I haven’t heard the ‘matured’ versh of the band yet, so mebbe they got it all right at this point, and sound like they did in ’86, only better, or something. And maybe “Chinese Democracy” is gonna be just as good as “Appetite for Destruction”, too. Might as well dream big, right?

Official Diamond Rexx website
Crash Music website
The Porn star that looks like original Diamond Rexx bass player, Andre: Gen Padova
The Porn star that looks like Diamond Rexx guitarist, CC Lust: Teoni

-Sleazegrinder
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