Motorcycle Boy - Popsicle (XXX, 1990)
Current Gemm price: $17.93- $30.99
Price Sleazegrinder paid: $10, I think. In 1990, no less.
Price Pepsi paid: Paid? He practically wrote it, man.
Worth: Lots. Really.
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So there was this impeccably stylish, incorrigible rogue named FRANCOIS, right? He had THE BEST HAIR IN ROCK'N'ROLL. A haircut that killed, man. He spent years charming the drinks off every girl in L.A., and he had this really cool, stripped-down kinda punkabilly band called MOTORCYCLE BOY. They specialized in these very rudimentary, but energetic, Bo-Diddley derivative glam romps, sorta like THE JONESES, without the death-trip. They were alot of fun and covered Elvis Presley's "Blue Christmas" and they were always nattily adorned in Cuban heels and sharkskin suit jackets and they wrote dumb Ramonesey songs about what a girl magnet their drummer, Kenney Toye was. All the girls loved Eden, too, but FRANCOIS' hair was always the real star of the show. Everybody loved them, even though they lacked a certain technical ability. These guys weren't musicians, these guys were PERSONALITIES. They played big, hollow-body guitars! They had perfect haircuts! They were stars! They had PRESENCE! You know those goggles that Nikki Sixx wore on his head in the "Dr.Feelgood" video? He copped that whole vibe off FRANCOIS! Francois just oozes panache. The phrase "Personality King" was first coined to describe Francois.

Enter MISTER RATBOY: a Thunders-style guitar virtuoso from Switzerland, who'd grown up loving 70's prog-rock bands like Gentle Giant and Van Der Graaf Generator. After a month long "audition" that Ratboy once described as being more like a drinking contest, with Francois asking all the local foxes if they thought Ratboy was "cute enough". All the local foxes and Francois' unstoppable hair-do finally agreed that Mister Ratboy had what it takes to be a MOTORCYCLE BOY!

Future BEAT ANGEL, Michael Brooks, also did time in M.C.BOY, but from what we understand, he had yet to fully develop into the inspired player (who now ranks among the very top guitar-stars of our age) capable of such shimmering grandiosity as evidenced on recent BEAT ANGELS songs like "She Shoots Starlight".

RATBOY became the driving songwriting force of the band, creating these circular, unforgettable riffs that seemed to all be Iggy Pop's "New Values" album turned inside out. MOTORCYCLE BOY quickly became these seemingly, highly-marketable cartoon characters, impressing everyone on the scene with their humour and antics. They'd ride their motorcycles into the pay-to-play clubs, take the stage, blast out a song called, "I HATE THE SUNSET STRIP" ("Heavy Metal Shit!") that mischievously mocked the whole Poison and Tuff crowd openly, AND singled out the "Godfather Of Pay-To-Play", Ben Gazzari, personally. Then, they'd leap back on their hogs and leave the poodle-maned, pink tank-top crowd wondering what the fuck had just hit 'em.

Every condom machine and bus stop in Hollywood once had stickers pasted on 'em that read, "WHY NOT FUCK A MOTORCYCLE BOY TODAY?"

FLIPSIDE MAGAZINE released a snazzy seven inch. Two whizbang super-hits: "Feel It" b/w "One Punch".

Rockers went crazy for it. Critics raved. Anticipation grew. They appeared weekly in every rock 'zine. Hot Chicks flocked to Motorcycle Boy performances in droves. Major label A & R guys started showing up to witness Francois' makin' a shambolic spectacle of himself.

Then things started heading a little South for the boys when ALICE COOPER invited them to audition to be his back-up band. These MOTORCYCLE BOYS were, after all, incorrigible rogues. Nobody bothered to learn any ALICE COOPER tunes. Instead, they belligerently blared through a couple of their own explosive pop songs, and Alice walked out of the room laughing.

Then, former N.Y. DOLL, SYLVAIN SYLVAIN, came into the picture, producing their highly anticipated debut for Triple X Records. In between the usual Motorcycle Boy life-style hijinks and sending Syl out for more cheeseburgers and onion rings, the world famous Mister Ratboy managed to somehow harness all that FRANCOIS personality long enough to capture a brand new, sleeker, high-performance, MOTORCYCLE BOY model. Most of the songs stayed short and sweet, catchy and upbeat- like "SUICIDE" ("If you love me, it's like suicide") and "THAT'S WHAT SHE WANTS". The theme to most of these songs seemed to be summed up best by the simple line, "She's tired of me sleepin' all over town." The trials and tribulations of playing the wicked rogue'. Apparently, it ain't all roses. Every song smokes! Each tune's a classic in it's own way, even the throwaways "Swamp Stomp" and "Honolulu Baby" (club days Van Halen title) were contagiously fun.

At some point during the making of this album, however, egos flared. FRANCOIS' HAIRCUT kinda havin' a showdown with RATBOY'S RIFF. (Cue: N.Y. DOLLS "SHOWDOWN"). Ratboy split for NY in a huff and quickly found an undiscovered, 22 year old kid influenced by Tex Perkins and Texacala Jones, who initially seemed like a potentially more "corrigible" vocalist, at a Johnny Thunders show, and decided to put together a whole new group in NYC, where he would no longer have to argue with FRANCOIS' alpha-do.

FRANCOIS immediately replaced Ratboy with some guy that just wasn't very good, and charmed the record label into reshooting the album cover with the new guy. When the record was released, Ratboy was merely listed as one of several "additional musicians", in spite of nearly single-handedly master-minding the entire winning formula- from bringing all the hooks to the table, to "helping" Syl produce, to conceptualizing the same photos that were later reshot without him. "POPSICLE" remains one of the most enduringly listenable, and highly influential, rock'n'roll albums of the past 15 years. Today, you can most vividly hear the impact MOTORCYCLE BOY had on current bands like the STAR SPANGLES. Various artists, such as the New Bomb Turks, the Dishes, and Bebe Buell have all covered their unforgettable songs.

RATBOY toured with JEFF DAHL and MARKY RAMONE AND THE INTRUDERS, and formed two more critically-acclaimed, highly IGGY POP "NEW VALUES" -influenced bands PILLBOX and SOUR JAZZ, and he now lives with his family, teaching English, in Japan. Many more incarnations of Hollywood's eternal underdogs, MOTORCYCLE BOY, have come and gone. One version reportedly even included legendary URGE OVERKILL drummer, BLACKIE ONASSIS. Francois remains a permanent and much beloved fixture on the Hollywood scene, and a few years ago, reunited with Mister Ratboy for a couple of songs, co-starring Bebe Buell (!) onstage in Manhattan. Today, FRANCOIS, appropriately, works as a receptionist at a Los Angeles HAIR SALON, and enthusiastic MOTORCYCLE BOY devotees, worldwide, all hope that one day, before it's too late, that the classic MOTORCYCLE BOY line-up (FRANCOIS, RATBOY, EDEN, & KENNEY TOYE) will return to the studio, to record another classic album.

Hear samples of Popsicle (and buy it too, I reckon) at E Music
Motorcycle Boy have an official website, but it doesn't really work. Imagine that.
Mister Ratboy's website does, however.

-Pepsi Sheen has seen 'em come and he's seen 'em go...
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