Vyper - Prepared to Strike (Greenworld/Kondor, 1984)
Current Gemm price: $3.68- $60.95  
Price I paid: $3.99, Second Coming Records, Cambridge
Worth: Uh...
By: Sleazegrinder
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I’ve had this Vyper song, “Dealer”, stuck in my head for years. And I mean YEARS, man. ‘Metal’ Mike Jones played it one time in 1984 on Nasty Habits, the Sunday night, 4-hour, commercial-free, heavy metal orgy on local college radio station WERS that pretty much every Teenage Sleazegrinder in Boston cut their flash metal babyteeth on. It’s funny, ya know, the songs that end up getting welded onto yr skull like burning plastic. From 1983 to 1986 or however long Mike did that show, I musta heard THOUSANDS of metal songs, but the three that stuck with me were “Dealer”, “Blondes in Black” by Anvil Chorus (probably cuz I was like, 14, and a song called “Blondes in Black” was obviously gonna hit ya right in the hormones) and some speed metal version of “Silent Night” by who-the-hell-knows (it was a special Xmas show). There’s no good reason why these three shoulda remained with me- I heard Venom and Anvil and Anthrax and Manowar and Hellhammer and Steel fuckin’ Assassin for the first time on Nasty Habits, so it’s not like the show didn’t play GOOD heavy metal all the goddamn time, but there ya go. Anyway, it’s been rattling around in the grey stuff for 20 years now, and after awhile, it started to carry a somewhat mythical aura to it. In my head, it was scorching speed metal, a hoary, drug-fueled chug punctuated with a venomous roar: “I’m your dealer/Your dealer /Your Dealer/Dominating!”. I never bought the album that “Dealer” was on, “Prepared to Strike”, when it was originally released, ‘cuz they look like gay spacemen on the back cover, but prior to hunting it down a few months ago, if you woulda mentioned Vyper to me (and who sez you wouldn’t?), then I probably would have told you they were Bad Ass. Cuz my teenage brain seemed to think they were. Anyway, good thing I checked.

Vyper, it turns out, were from Kansas City, Missouri, which pretty much automatically qualifies ‘em as a Flash Metal Suicide. They were formed by lead singer Christy Black (dude, Christy?!) and guitarist Jacky Foxx (again, Jacky?!), who rounded up a buncha scarecrows and hair farmers to aid their cause. I’m pretty sure that they wanted to be ‘tough’, ya know, like Judas Priest or somebody, so I’m not sure how they ended up with spandex and hairspray and spaceman suits, unless maybe EVERYBODY in Kansas City dressed like that back then. Anyway, the same year they got together (1984), they released their debut album, “Prepared to Strike”, on a California label/Distro, Greenworld.

“Prepared to Strike” is notable mostly for Christy’s ear-piercing shriek, a truly deranged, punishing sound that burns through the heavier-than-usual power metal roar of Foxx’s guitar and the leathery gallop of Rik Brock’s bass like corrosive acid. “Dealer” does, in fact, sound like a fistfight, just like I remember, except it’s 20 years later, and I kinda hate power metal now. The lyrics are cool, in a vaguely aggro way- “I am the loaded gun that’s pointed at your head/I am the government equipped with deadly force/power is my middle name/prepare for sacrifice/I am the holy man to bring you to your knees” – but they’d probably have been more effective if Black didn’t punctuate his verses with glass-shattering screeches. And if he wasn’t dressed like a Martian hooker while doing it. The rest of the album follows a similar path of caterwauling and Maiden/Priest thumping. Most of the songs are about chicks. One of ‘em’s called “She’s Nasty”. None of ‘em are awful or nothin', but you’d pretty much have to be directly related to Vyper for them to be your favorite band, and even then…well, you’d probably just be keeping the peace, ya know?

“Prepared to Strike”, according to Vyper’s former manager/producer Eric Greif, was more of a success than I woulda assumed. “At one point in early 1985, “Prepared to Strike” was listed as one of the biggest selling indie releases in the States”, he recently reported, in Denim and Leather ‘zine. But, you know, managers say stuff like that all the time. At any rate, it did enuff business for Vyper to record a follow-up EP, “Afraid of the Dark”, (Greenworld) in 1985, but before the year was out, the band had split into two warring factions, both of whom were laying claim to the name Vyper, and neither of whom got anywhere with it. And to make matters worse, Greenworld went bankrupt, and Vyper’s master tapes fell down a black hole, never to seen from again. By 1986, it was all over but the shouting.

So what happened to Vyper? According to Sleaze Roxx, Christy Black joined a band called Billy the Kid in the late 90’s, but never recorded with ‘em. Drummer Michael Scott briefly joined Maryland-based thrash metal band Ballistic (who have a pretty fuckin’ funny website- “Welcome to the threshold of metal riffing Hell!”), but has not been heard from since. Hell, even Jacky Foxx has disappeared (although his name lives on in the starry-eyed world of black tranny porn) into the ether. Or the cornfields. Or the inside of my teenage reptile brain. Wherever.

So there ya go, another flash metal band proves exactly why they’re a hopeless obscurity. Ah, well. Maybe Anvil Chorus will turn out to be really KICK ASS, man. Stay tuned.

-Sleazegrinder
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