The Wild - Wild 1 (Columbia, 1988)
Current Gemm price: $3.86- $15.59
Price I paid: $1.99 at Record Hog, Somerville (RIP)
Worth: $10,000 (approx.)
By: Sleazegrinder
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“I Got the right idea/ I’m gonna put it in effect, yeah”

Alright, so I realize that I may be the only one- including the members of the Wild themselves- who thought this album was brilliant and visionary, but I am convinced that history will prove me right. I have been extolling the cyberglam virtues of this record since it was first released 14 years ago, and will most likely continue to do so untill everybody else fucking GETS IT. That being said, I have to cop to not knowing a thing about the Wild (besides this record, I mean) until, like, yesterday, when was I hipped to the fact that Wild mainman John Wildblood was, in fact, Dizzy Reed, and that the Wild disappeared from rock n roll i n the blink of an eye because Axl scooped him right outta rehearsal to join his nu-fangled, Izzy-less Super Guns in ’90-or-so. I know, and you certainly know, that the last band in the world that needed a fucking keyboard player was Guns N’ Roses, and along with the goddamn horn section and the back-up singers and “Get in the Ring” and the dolphin videos, Dizzy’s entrance was a portent of the devastating mother-of-all Flash Metal Suicides to come. And although I am sure Dizzy is happy with his decision, ‘cuz lord knows, if you can squeeze a house and a motorcycle and a sportscar out of a maniac like Axl, than I suppose you really oughta, but I still think that if the Wild had a chance to deliver a second, killing blow on the rock world, then they mighta been one of the biggest goddamn bands on the planet. The Wild, Chemlab, and Shotgun Messiah, glamdustrial’s unholy trinity. We would all have wires in the back of our heads now, and we would never grow old or lose our hair, because technology would be stronger than death. Porn stars would win academy awards, and all the latest superhits would be downloaded directly into our half-digital brains. Zodiac Mindwarp would not just be a cult figure, he’d be a cult leader, and they woulda had the sense to drop down on the OTHER side of Mars, where all the really cool parties are happening.

This doesn’t mean that I blame Axl Rose for killing rock n’ roll, tho. Kurt Cobain killed rock n’ roll. I’m just blaming Axl for killing the Wild.

Anyway, Dizzy (nee Darren) Reed blew outta Boulder, CO in ’87 with his band Johnny and the Jaguars and drove straight to Hollywood to make it all happen. He was Johnny then. As “J and the J’s” wasn’t gonna ‘play’ down on the Sunset Strip, they changed their name to the Wild. They got signed to Columbia, ‘cuz they were bad ass, and in ’88, “Wild 1” was released. The world scratched it’s collective head, ‘cept maybe for me and you, and John Wildbood sweated it out for a cuppla years, til Mr Rose came a callin’. Il est fini.

That’s not the important part, tho. The important part is the album. “Wild 1” is, quite simply, exactly what would happen if Zodiac Mindwarp joined Sigue Sigue Sputnik. It is sex-disco played by sleaze metal bikers-from-Hell. It is the thump and bleep of a cyber-erotic beatbox welded onto the back of a crazy motorcycle with a gas tank fulla blood and glitter. Personally, I have never heard anything like it in my goddamn life, and believe me, I’ve heard a LOTTA fucked-up rock n’ roll. It was obviously too far ahead of it’s time for ’88 flash rockers to wrap their boozy brains around, and probably still is, but I tell ya this much – it took big balls  to release a cyberpunk cock rock record in 1988, and even if it didn’t exactly set the world on fire, “John Wildblood” and Todd Barrone have NOTHING to regret about this one, man. Cuz this record is the TITS.

And, ya know, it didn’t come outta NOWHERE, either. Anything on “Wild 1” isn’t really all that different from the “Extended Remix” Zodiac or SSS Singles that came out in ’86 and ’87, and Pop Will Eat Itself were already riding high in the UK with their “Box Frenzy” album (Chapter 22 records, 1987), which had the same idea (“Grab a beatbox and a add a garage racket”, as PWEI explained in Box Frenzy’s title song), and another UK band, Lightning, were also playing ‘beatbox rock’, only their versh ripped off the Clash (as evidenced by their 1988 RCA album, “Lightning Strikes Motherfucker” ), not Zodiac. Drug Free America added danceable beats to grinding apocalypse rock, as did World Domination Enterprises, Slab, and a slew of others. So, ya know, it was around. None of ‘em played the stuff with the wild arrogance and swaggering confidence of the Wild, however. The Wild not only sounded like they invented this new noise, they sounded like it ALREADY made them a million dollars.

And it wasn’t just the FUTURE-NOW sound that the Wild were peddling either, it was a whole post-apocalyptic sex, drugs n’ death cyber-fantasy, complete with an over the top murder-glam look- although I’m assuming Barrone and Wildblood/Reed had live co-conspirators, the two Wild honchos had the helldesert sleazebeast look down cold, man. Leather, spikes, bulletbelts, jet-black dreadlocks down to their waists, full, Zodiac-like chest tattoos, skulls, chains, handcuffs, mirrored shades, the fuckin’ works, man. These were not just bad asses, man, they were KING HELL SUPERDADDY CADILLAC BAD ASSES FROM HELL. And I know, it’s hard to remember these days, when bands wear sweaters and corduroys, but in 1988, that meant something, man. That was a COMMITMENT to the ROCK. Even if they ended up sounding like Nitro or something, they woulda scored big with me just for out-glamming Wrathchild and still lookin’ like the Love Reaction’s beserker security force while doing it. I mean, fuck yeah, ya know?

Oh, but they did not sound like Nitro, tho. Nope. I suppose now is when I oughta tell you who played what on “Wild 1”. Well, lemme allow the Wild themselves to explain it:

“Wild, the MASTERS of the new new SUPER BAD METAL GROOVE are:
Todd BARRONE -Words, SONIC GUT THUNDER & ATONAL YODEL” (translation- he was the singer.) “John WILDBLOOD- PSYCHOBLAST SIX-STRING GUITAR SLIDE, SUBSONIC BONECRUNCH bassoverdrive THROB, SUPER HI-TECH COMPUTER DRUM THRASH & WEIRD 3D SYNTHESIZED psychic invasion.” (i.e., he played all the instruments).
Yes, I realized that they cribbed that whole bit from the back of the Love Reaction’s “High Priest of Love” album (Food records, 1986), but baby, I mighta borrowed a thing or two from there as well (“COBALT STARGAZER SENT ENGINEERS MAD WITH HIS SQUEALING SLEAZEGRINDER”), so no complaints here.

One thing I oughta mention is that each song on the album is subtitled with a special “mix”, which is largely nonsense, since I don’t think they had any plans on remixing EVERY track, but it still reads pretty cool. As such, “Mean Dream Queen” is the “Adrenaline OD” mix ( a nod to 80’s thrashpunks Adrenaline OD?), “High Ryder” is the “Suicide Joyride” mix, “Motor Angel” is the amazingly titled “Hispanic Metal” mix, etc. I’m just guessing, but I think the ultimate goal for ‘em mighta been to have supersonic reducers like Jim Thirwell, Bill Drummond, and Tony James endlessly remix the songs with bizarre new titles (Thirwell probably woulda done “Sex Junkie” as “You’ve got a Feotus in your Mouth” mix, or something). But that would been in another world, not this one. If memory serves, “Sex Junkie” and “Preecha Man” DID actually have single mixes that were different from the rekkid, but otherwise, what you got it what you get. But what you got is plenty, Jack.

“Wild 1” opens with “Mean Dream Queen”, which is basically a copped Kiss riff, chopped and looped “Love Missile F1-11” style, and welded onto a battering cyberdrum beat. It’s slinky and kinky and even tho it doesn’t really mean anything: “C’mon baby, let’s get ripped/ Don’t ya know, I’m fully equipped”, it SOUNDS important, and it’s loaded with all kindsa cool thangs- sax-blasts, cowbells, industrial percussion, cock rock guitars solos, and chest thumping bravado. It’s a digital throb, it’s lust in the machine, it’s pop music for cyborg Yakuza. If they had a disco in Westworld, this one woulda been a monster hit.

“High Ryder” IS a Zodiac Mindwarp song- Barrone’s delivery is a dead-on Zed, and the lyrics are pure sex and gasoline- only it’s fueled by a nasty dance-floor beat. Which is exactly the kinda thing Z woulda done, if he knew how to dance.

I have no idea why “Motor Angel” I sub-titled “Hispanic Metal”, cuz it’s not. It IS a swanky cock rock song with a rumbling machine-metal purr, tho. And dig the (ok, SLIGHTLY Hispanic-sounding) cyber-drum solo half-way through. They let the fuckin’ DRUM MACHINE have a solo! Now, that’s futuristic, man.

“Preecha Man” brings in the back-up singers and honky tonk piano, and actually sounds like “Use Yr Illusion” era GNR, when it doesn’t sound like the supercool gangster-funk of The Hood (“Cooler than Thou, PVC 1985- another important piece of the puzzle). “Preecha Man” was one of Wild 1’s two would-be singles, if I remember correctly, along with A-side closer “Sex Junkie”, the sleaziest disco-metal song you’ll ever hear. It’s got an obscene phone call, it’s got thunderous drum beats, it’s got an air of danger and menace, and it remixes ITSELF halfway through. Wild? You bet.

B-side opener “Running Wild” is pretty much the only straight “rock” song on the whole record. I dunno if anybody else ever noticed, but it’s basically Charlie Sexton’s “Beat’s So Lonely” mixed with “White Wedding”, and, as such, sounds like latter-day Generation X with a blues-fuzz riff (I have listened to this record enough times to figure out exactly where the Wild copped just about every riff, but you gotta keep in mind that I am a maniac, and you will probably not notice all the ‘borrowing’ going on). “Running Wild” also has a tragic-heroic vibe to it that belies the reckless bravado of the rest of the record, and I swear to Christ, it made me cry once. I think I was on the wine at the time, tho. Anyway, it’s a great song.

“She Drew Blood” is exactly what Finnish sleazegoths 69 Eyes aimed for ten years later. The bass and drums are Sister of Mercy-styled ice metal, the guitars are pure cock n’ roll, and the lyrics are overwrought love rock. Perfect.

“Church Master Jammer” ("House of the Unholy” mix) is a redux of “Preecha Man” that opens with a collage of evangelists and Motown back-up singers and fuzz, and launches into slinky, horn-driven cyber-sex-funk. There’s a few growling, incidental guitars floating in the mix, but mostly it’s sax blasts and a dancefloor thump and lyrics like “You’re psycho-manic and psyche-Satanic/You’re a two-faced monkey and sex mechanic”. Halfway through, it suddenly veers into “Groove God” (“Holy Guitars” mix), another Zodiac/Sputnik hybrid. Dig the Z copped “B-b-baby” and the rockin’ riff, which may or may not be a minced versh of Judas Priest’s “Exciter”. Bitchin’.

“Hot 4 Love” (“Pumped Up Outlaw” mix) is pure Billy Idol, complete with Steve Stevens’ style flash metal guitar and lotsa “Oooh yeah!” action and Elvis references. It ends abruptly, as a revving motorcycle kicks in, followed by a riff that IS (let us not kid ourselves) Cult’s “Sanctuary”, only, ya know, louder and flashier. And over it, Barrone whispers and screams and works it all out, man. “Like a Hurricane” is pretty much the only lyric, but do you need more that that? Nope. “Like a hurricane” sez it all.

And then, with a fake-out ending thump, it’s over. All the way over, it turns out. The revolution was not televised, and Flash Metal did not transmute into Flashdustrial, like the Wild surely wanted it to. John Wildblood turned into Dizzy Reed, learned “November Rain”, and the whole fuckin’ world committed Flash Metal Suicide. That doesn’t mean that the Wild were WRONG, tho. I mean, I’ll play “Motor Angel" for ya right now, and you tell me, what’s better, “Hispanic Metal” or 17 minute piano intros? Crazy fuckin’ world, man.

Anyway, I don’t think Dizzy particularly cares about any of this. Despite the fact that the nu-Guns have been stalled at the gates of destiny for upwards of 8 years now, Dizzy ‘officially’ remains the last man standing from the ‘old’ ( but not original) Guns N’ Roses line-up. He’s also kept himself quite bizzy doin’ his synth-plink routine on lotsa ex-Gunners recs (Gilby Clarke, Slash, Duff), as well as Motorhead (“Hammered”), and sometimes he even gets the Dizzy Reed Band crankin’. Most recently, he’s been touring with a band called Fastmaster that consists of dudes from LA scenesters Beautiful Creatures, playin’ GNR covers. He is also, presumably, waiting for the phone to ring. Personally, were I Dizzy, I’d just pick up where I left off with the Wild and get Axl’s pseudo-Guns to open up for ME, but then, I live on an entirely different planet from everybody else. It’s called Planet Motherfucker, and we’re all still into the Super Bad Metal Groove here. You should visit sometime. Bring bullets.
 
Further: Dizzy Reed fansite

- Sleazegrinder (Slime Skinflick Taster Mix)

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