Dirtbags
Directed by Bill Zebub
Starring Bill Ze Bub, George Is Dead, Scott Fudger, Parker Weller, Fred
Dingo, JB the Ogre, and several other dirtbags-types
(The Grimoire)
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"Hey, at least you'll die with a smile on
my face!"
Bill Zebub, the lowbrow provocateur behind Jersey-based bludgeon
metal shockmag "Grimoire of Exalted Deeds" tears every one of his
tawdry obsessions- fleshy, half-dressed barflies, thudding Euro-metal,
pop-eyed, scattershot, racist and sexist 'humor'- from the glossy pages of
his magazine and brings 'em to squealing life in this no-budget camcorder
goonfest.
Bill plays himself, and his friends play the rest o' the dirtbags. They
include a home-grown pharmacist who specializes in acid-laced roofies, a
building super who secretly tapes his female tenants and sells them on the
internet, a pudgy chronic masturbator in a goth-metal wig who's dad
constantly attempts to convert to Jesus-freakdom, and a whole array of
drunken party-girls. Some of them die, some of them get laid, some of them
do both and get videotaped. Along the way, we also meet a goose-stepping
Nazi cop in full SS regalia, a gay pizza boy who transforms into "Superfag"
for a prance in the park, a Lou Albano styled overweight gym owner
stuffed into a half-shirt, and various other dregs of society. There's also
a ton of suicide metal, grindgunk, and plinking Casio tunes on the
soundtrack, an amusing cameo from Type O Negative main man Lord
Petrus Steele (who has fangs!) and a couple appearances from b-movie
sex kitten Suzi Lorraine. Oh, and some truly dodgy digital effects,
including a rampaging bumblebee, a bimbo-over-a-waterfall, and a dancing
Santa Claus.
What's it all mean? I dunno. It's loud and obnoxious, tho, which I'm pretty
sure was the whole point.
If you've ever suspected that the Hessian lifestyle is lousy with
Neanderthal social politics and strip mall aesthetics, than "Dirtbags"
will vindicate you big time, 'cuz comedy doesn't get any uglier or more
gutteral than this; but on the other hand, if you ARE a Jersey
metalhead, or aspire to be one, than what a fuckin' treat you've got on yr
hands here. For everybody in between, prepare to groan yr way through lines
about giving razorbladed apples to minority kids on Halloween and scenes
involving guys in Adolph Hitler shirts beating guys in Metallica
shirts with bananas. As a reward for yr endurance, you'll get a couple of
authentically witty lines ("You ever notice how there's no mouse-flavored
cat food? What's up with that? Cats love mice!") and a tasty smattering of
boner-popping Jersey girls in thongs.
"Dirtbags" isn't quite as outrageous as it thinks it is, but it does
show glimmers of classic greasy bad taste drive-in-styled comedy, and I
suspect that Bill Zebub will, at some point, crank out that
metalhead John Waters gutpunch satire he's going for here. Either
that, or somebody's gonna burn his house down for leaning too heavy on
"nigger" and "fag" jokes. I, for one, am looking forward to seeing which
one comes first.
Extras: Blooper real, extra footage of the girls o' Dirtbag
Available through
the Grimoire, or straight from Zeebub hisself, for a measly
$10:
Grimoire
POB 1987
Clifton, NJ 07011
-Sleazegrinder