Which one of us should you believe? Probably V, since he actually paid for it, but there’s a good chance that Paul and I are on the level, too. After all, nobody understands rock n’ roll damnation better than us. 
- Sleaze

Music videos have always been sort of a moot point for AC/DC – no amount of klieg lights and titty girls will ever trump their ten-ton thunderboogie as a pure special effect. And aside from a few questionable decisions -- the wretched promotional “concept” movie for Fly on the Wall, and the redonkulous dancing robots in “Who Made Who” – the Brothers Young and Co. have stuck with a basic format when it comes to promotional films and videos: keep its simple and just show the fucking band in performance, ripping through the latest single in a megawatt fury. And that’s what you get with the double-disc Family Jewels – about 80% of the clips collected here put the band front and center on stage, either in front of an audience on the verge of total meltdown (check out the teen chicks mobbing Bon Scott like he’s David Cassidy on “Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap”) or simply pounding through one tune after another with jackhammer-like drive and force (the Highway to Hell and Back in Black promo clips – four apiece -- look like they were bashed out in a single afternoon – one can imagine Angus saying, “Fuck it, let’s just get ‘em all done now” while downing a gallon of coffee). These spots aren’t exactly riveting from a cinematic standpoint, but again, they don’t have to be: the sight of Angus undergoing what can only be described as tribal ecstasy as he strangles the Chuck Berry songbook out of his guitar simply can’t be improved upon or outdone, nor can Brian Johnson’s Andy Capp-meets-Lemmy swagger, or the granite bottom end of Malcolm Young, Cliff Williams, and Phil Rudd’s battering ram of a rhythm section (with a nod to replacement drummers Simon Wright and Chris “the bald guy” Slade as well).

Hopefully, Family Jewels will also serve as an introduction to Bon Scott for fans who’ve grown up during the Brian Johnson administration (hard to believe he’s been in the band for a quarter-century now). No knock on Johnson, who was probably the only guy capable of replacing Scott, but for sheer cheek and dangerous magnetism, Scott definitely put the cock in cock rock (and if you don’t believe me, check out those shots from below in the “Jailbreak” video). And the guy had balls of brass, too: can you imagine any current frontman with the huevos to perform on a television show in a dress and St. Pauli Girl braids, as Scott does in the band’s earliest appearance on Aussie TV (for “Baby Please Don’t Go”)? They broke the mold when they brewed Bon Scott, so Epic’s done us a solid and a half to make this footage available as a reminder.

– Paul Gaita
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AC/DC has been Australia’s top rock export for over 30 now with no one even coming close to matching their… blah, blah, blah, we all know who AC/DC is. I got this thing for only $11.88 ( for 2 DVD’s!) so even if it sucks, it’s totally worth it.

I love AC/DC, always have, but I never sat around thinking about how I need a collection of their promotional videos since they are not the most exciting bunch to watch and….

Fuck, holding a cigarette and typing sucks…

I’m not going to put it down I’m just, FYI.

I’m not really a smoker except when I drink, the other night I bought a pack and now I feel I have to smoke it.

I smoke 'em cause I got 'em.

I’m a save the best for last type of guy, so I reached for DVD2 that covers all the material from 1980-1991. Brian Johnson while now only a whisper of his former self, had one of the coolest rock voices ever.

Watching him, though, is kind of funny.

First off he makes me hungry for Hot Fries with that hat on, second he really, REALLY looks like he’s on the can.

My blood vessels hurt watching him.

Looking at these clips from the 80’s I’m noticing how old they look.

And that was almost 20 years ago.

If I emptied my pockets and put the bills face up it would look like a TRL crowd next to these guys.

For the 1985 album Fly on the Wall, the band shot 5 videos simultaneously making (when watched together) a mini movie full of bad dancing and even worse animation. It centers around a bar and the things that happen over the course of a night there, I really didn’t get the point of the story and was about to get pissed off by it when I heard a giant SMASH coming from behind my TV.

AT first I thought someone shot the house (I live in Lawrence), I jumped up and ran outside to find no one around. I walk around the house to the big picture window that the TV is in front of and it’s totally smashed and covered in blood.

Someone punched the fucking the window and sliced the shit out of themselves in the process.

Next person I see is my cousin (my aunt lives next door) and he’s in full police uniform since he’s a uh, police.

A police guy.

He just happened to be next door and heard the smash and came running over.

Looking across the street I see my Korean neighbor holding his baby yelling to me “they went that way!” pointing down the street across from mine. “I would chase them but I have baby!”

He’s a nice guy, we always sort of look out for each other.

At that moment one of my cousins buddies pulls up (another cop) in his car and heads down the way my neighbor pointed.

It all worked out perfectly and shit like that NEVER happens.

I’ve had to buy 7 new tires, 2 windows, have major dents pulled and my side mirror bolted back on my car in the 3 years I’ve lived here.

For once, everything was turning up Millhouse.

Long story short they actually caught the 3 kids ages 11, 12 and 13 respectively (although they get no respect for being punks!) and the window smasher got 16 stitches.

Little bastards.

The parents offered to fix the window but I said fuck it, my involvement in this ends here.

My landlord just put a screen in its place.

On the count of it being almost summer and all.

When I came back in I was kind of pissed off about the window but also kind of happy the kid got 16 stitches.

There is a silver lining here.

In closing, I’ve been finding lately that a lot of people think I’m hot.

Sometimes you just feel down on yourself and get in a rut so it’s nice when people want to do you.

It feels good being done.

And so we are done with this stellar review of AC/DC’s new DVD Family Jewels.

I’m not sure about the rest of it (or most really..) but it must be good.

I don’t think I’m going to actually watch it though because I am very superstitious and almost feel like something else bad might happen if I do.

By all means though feel free.

Maybe I’ll give it to someone I don’t like and see what happens.

It could be the like The Ring for vandalism.

I think that’s the name of my new solo album, Ring for Vandalism.

In the title track I do an homage to AC/DC’s Dirty Deeds and in that little breakdown part where he rattles off different ways to kill I can say stuff like “Broken windows…shit in a bag…graffiti...( Done Dirt Cheap! ) ..slashed tires…broken fences…HIGH VOLTAGE!!

I can’t really think of something better than high voltage.

For anything.

-V-

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Chicks will fuck anything with a microphone. For irrefutable proof, check out the live TV gig footage of “Dirty Deeds Done Cheap”, where an already-aged Bon, dressed in what looks like Fred Flinstone’s old work shirt, gets mauled by a couple screamy teenage hussies who storm the stage halfway through. I dunno what’s more awesome – dumb, dirty rock n’ roll, or dumb, dirty teenage girls - but thank god for ‘em both, jack.

Besides the stage hussies and the caveman frock, disc one collects the many other dubious fashion choices of Mr. Bon Scott- including the horrifying schoolgirl outfit Paul mentioned- as well as his hilariously disastrous attempts at lip synching. It’s a veritable feast of Bonzo-mania, and even if they did look like a plumbers union meeting gone mad, the vicious, street-thug fuck n’ roll of Scott-era AC/DC was so on the money, so tight and lethal, that Bon coulda showed up to the studio dressed in a gay priest/stripper ensemble and they still would have wrecked the place. Oh wait, he did wear that outfit, for “Let There Be Rock”. So I guess he proved my point. Anyway, disc one is the absolute tits, and if you play it through a decent stereo system, the walls will fall right down, and half-naked girls will pour in off the street to paw at your be-denimed crotch. And that ain’t bad for $12 retail.

Disc two – well, the Back in Black and For Those About to Rock clips are all right, the usual live stuff, and the Flick of the Switch video is cool, all stripped down and faux-raw, but I can’t put up with that Who Made Who/Fly on the Wall nonsense. Fuckin’ robots and cartoons and shit. Woeful. Probably the MILFs among us will go ape for the “Fly” quintology, tho. I seem to remember several drinky-drinky blondes really digging this stuff back in high school.

Strangely, for a deluxe-double disc package, “Family Jewels” doesn’t offer much else. There’s a discography- which you can already get on about 6, 666 websites – but that’s it for extras. No interviews, no behind-the-scenes, no hijinks, no commentary, no fun. Sure, AC/DC are a notoriously un-engaging lot, but a little bonus banter or an anecdote or two would have been much appreciated. That being said, you’d have to watch about 3 years worth of Metal Mania on VH1 Classic to see all the videos again, and since you are not gonna live forever, I suggest you just buy this monster, put on your vintage “Dirty Deeds” tee shirt, and prepare yourself for a night of long knives. Long knives and gratuitous chest hair.

-Sleazegrinder