“How dare you try to consume me?”

You’re probably gonna need a scorecard and all ten fingers and toes to keep track of what’s going on in every scene of Zu Warriors, but the sheer orgy of special effects in this Chinese fantasy-adventure from legendary Hong Kong director Tsui Hark is more than worth the effort. Back in 1983, Hark directed his first take on the ancient Chinese novel The Legend of Zu, titled Zu Warriors from Magic Mountain, and its no-holds-barred special effects was in part responsible for a wave of Hong Kong fantasy films (A Chinese Ghost Story, which he also produced, as well as Witch from Nepal, The Seventh Curse, and countless others) in the ‘80s, as well as international interest in Hong Kong movies in general. This time around, Hark has CGI to assist his energetic vision, and the results are nothing short of eye-popping, which is greatly appreciated in light of the complexity of his story. In a nutshell, immortal god King Sky (Ekin Cheng) is mourning the destruction of his clan and the death of his master, Dawn (Cecilia Cheung), when he is called by the Omei clan to help defend them against Insomnia, an amorphous demon bent on wiping out the forces of good. King Sky and his brother Red (Louis Koo), who sports massive and lethal metal wings, partner up with Omei’s top fighters, Heaven (also Cheung) and Thunder (Patrick Tam), to battle Insomnia, and the quartet nearly defeat the creature, but it escapes into a cavern and hunkers down to cool its jets and build up its power for another attack. It’s here where the good guys start to make mistakes – Omei headman White Brows (Hong Kong legend Sammo Hung, who also appeared in the ’83 Zu Warriors) loses his all-powerful Sky Shield inside the cavern while wrangling with Hollow (Jacky Wu), which is some kind of physical manifestation/sidekick to Insomnia, while Red is seduced by Amnesia, a cute little Tinkerbell-type fairy who charms him before burrowing into his skull and transforming him into a fireball tossing bad guy. The final blow comes when Heaven and Thunder attempt to merge their all-powerful swords to make a super weapon, but Thunder… I’m not sure, but he gets distracted (and Heaven’s getting heavy vibes from King Sky because she looks just like his master…), and the two burst into flames before becoming reincarnated as Enigma (Chung again) and Ying (Wu), a bald-headed goof who must become “enlightened” before he can fly and kick ass and wield the Thunder Sword. Confused yet? Well, hang in there – there’s a lot more to go, including White Brows splitting Omei to find the secret of the universe and bring back the Ming Sword, a Christmas tree-shaped blade to battle Insomnia, King Sky fighting his possessed brother Red, Enigma struggling to re-teach Ying/Thunder all his skills, and a whole additional subplot involving Zhang Ziyi (Memoirs of a Geisha) as a general who gets caught up in the whole thing. Oh yeah, and Insomnia attempts to bring about the end of the world. You might want to keep a pen and paper next to your DVD remote.

But like I said before, the special effects are so uniformly amazing that you won’t mind the mental gymnastics needed to keep up with the plot. CGI can work both ways (at least in my book) – it can accomplish the impossible, or it can make an already slick and empty work ring even more hollowly. In the case of Zu Warriors, the CGI has two built-in advantages – Hark’s vision, which is so unique and vivid that his effects avoid the repetitiveness that often plagues American FX movies, and the sheer quantity and velocity of the effects. With over 1,000 effects shots appearing in the film, watching Zu Warriors can be a bit like watching three or four special effects-heavy movies at the same time in fast-forward; Red’s wings not only unfurl and swoop in graceful arcs, but spray missiles like a machine gun, guard him from others, and even lash the ground in high-speed concentric circles, while King Sky’s Moon Orb (a huge metallic crescent) circles him with an protective zeal (even underwater) and crashes through mountainsides like a colossal boomerang. The good guys aren’t the only ones with the cool tech stuff: Insomnia first materializes as a massive skull comprised of thousands of smaller skulls, which can gather together and make mountain-crushing warheads, and later, he assumes the form of a huge, blood-colored pulsating tide (formed by millions of lost souls) that washes across the sky and threatens to drown the Omei clan. Stuff that over-the-top happens just about every ten seconds in Zu Warriors, which makes for what might be one of the most exhilarating – even exhausting 90 minutes you’ve spent on your couch in recent memory. If you’re an Asian movie fan or an effects freak, there’s simply no question that you need to add this to your collection. Don’t even think twice.

Zu Warriors is one of a trio of films imported by Miramax at the request of Quentin Tarantino for exhibition in the U.S. (say what you will about the guy, but he’s got excellent taste in movies). Unfortunately, while Kung Fu Hustle and Shaolin Soccer got theatrical playdates, Zu Warriors went straight to DVD, which is a pity, as I can imagine that it’s astounding on a big screen. But Miramax did the right thing with this DVD release by including both the English-dubbed American cut and the longer, subtitled, Cantonese-language version on the same disc, which shows a degree of care for the consumer above the usual major studio release. There’s also a short making-of featurette which has brief (and weirdly edited) interviews with Hark and the main cast, but I’d actually pass on watching it. Because really, do you wanna see how they pulled off the effects, or do you just want to let them blow out your eyeballs? Think about it before you answer, but do check out this disc.
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- Paul Gaita