That 70’s Girl
Starring Misty Mundae, AJ Khan, Kelli Summers, Julian Wells
Directed by Johnny Crash
EI Cinema

Johnny Crash, infamous director of Mundae starmaker Spiderbabe, returns to Misty-ville in this plot-free orgy of softcore lezzy action.
Misty plays a freewheelin’ hippy chick (I think she’s just a throwback, tho. The film itself takes place in the present) who moves in with a cuppla foxy-but-uptight sisters (Julian Wells, Kelli Summers). Julian catches Misty frigging herself furiously in the shower, and the two sisters gossip about their weird new border, but inwardly, they both wanna fuck her brains out. Join the club, right?

Chocolate covered cutie AJ Khan plays Misty’s gal-pal, and she drops by for a long, languorous bedroom romp with MM. Then they both teach Summers how to play the guitar. Then they fuck her. Then Wells comes home, and they all get stoned, and then they ALL ball. Roll credits.

Seems like I must be missing something, but I’m not, really. Oh, there is another shower masturbation scene, a real manic jackrabbit romp, courtesy Wells (who grimaces like she’s giving birth to a razorblade-covered monkey while she’s doing it), but for the most part, it’s just a buncha lightweight lesbo lickfests, overlayed with faux hippyrock (courtesy the Pink Delicates). Not that anybody’s likely to complain, of course; it IS, after all, an hour’s worth of chicks-kissing-chicks. But if yr looking for some kinda story, then go read a fuckin’ book, Jack, cuz there ain’t no ‘story’ here.

There is a suitably gross punchline, tho.
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A Kelli Summers sandwich.

Misty and Wells: sex hippies.

Also included on this edition of ‘70’s Girl is another feature, the improbably titled “Dr. Christina of Sweden”, a softcore voyeur flick by grindhouse legend Nick Phillips. Originally released in 1970 (oh, and it shows, baby), “Christina” is about a blonde sex columnist, who speaks in a narco-robotic monotone. She wanders around Paris, interviewing young couples about sex, and eventually joining in on the action. Although dated beyond salvation and suffering from Ed Wood-esque dialogue (“She devoured her lover!”), this ‘un still looks surprisingly good, and features a couple of very sexy, curvy 70’s girls. Real ones, even.

Ok, so I didn’t even have to turn my brain ON for this one, but if your up for some harmless lesbo titillation and retro-fashions, then tune in, turn on, etc. It’s groovy, man.
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