Biohazardous (Eclectic)
Directed by Michael J. Hein
Starring Sprague Greydon. Al Thompson,
Thomas A. Cahill
Everybody’s always trying to outdo the next
guy in this world, man. Like zombies aren’t trouble enough- in
Biohazardous, the government has to go ahead and make fuckin’ Super
Zombies. How do you think something like that is gonna work out? “Bio” takes place in New Jersey, which is toxic enough as it is. The tiny suburban hamlet of Hillsdale gets an economic boost when bio-engineering research company Gentech moves into town, but nobody knows what the hell they’re actually doing over there, since the place is covered in barbed wire and nobody except for Gentech officials are allowed in. Me, I would have guessed superzombies right away, but they’re hicks, ya know.
And so it goes. The local fist fighting Irish priest thinks Gentech is up to the devil’s work, so he gets a Yahoo mob scene going, but not before the local stoners break into the place late one night, and accidentally let the zombies loose. A low-level grue fest soon follows.
It is difficult to make a dull zombie movie. I mean, they’re dead, and
they eat people. Now, that’s interesting. Not here, tho. Devoid of
humor and light on gore this one’s for genre completists only. And you’re
not one of those dorks, are ya? Rent
Breakfast at the Manchester Morgue
(1974)
instead. It’s the same movie, really, and just as boring, but the
climactic cannibal chaos at the end is infinitely more entertaining then
the one here. -Sleazegrinder