KAAAABOOOM!
Amina Munster Drops a Bomb on Sleazegrinder.com
Sixteen Psycho-Sexadelic Questions with The Ultimate Degenerate
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I tell you how we solve this whole furshlugginer situation in Iraq: we send Amina Munster over there. The whole thing’ll be cleared up in two weeks, tops. How so? Look, she’s world-famous thanks to Suicide Girls, the A&E series “Inked,” and countless mags ranging from Varla to Skin & Ink, and she’s drop-dead, knock-out gorgeous, so those insurgents will be too busy staring slack-jawed at her or howling like wolves to commit any more violence. Heck, I’m looking at her pictures right now and I’m too slack-jawed to even type this. But wouldn’t this put her in harm’s way, you ask? Silly boy, Amina Munster laughs at danger. Judging from the amount of ink that covers her va-va-va-voom frame – not to mention the fact that she lost her lower right leg and five fingertips in a childhood accident -- pain is not an option for her.

And she suffers no fools. When her astounding chestpiece tattoo was plagiarized by a California artist in 2005, Amina made sure no other douche bag would pull the same scam by registering the artwork with the U.S. Copyright Office. That’s right, motherfucker – she’s got the government on her side. Like I said, send her over there. She’ll have that bin laden hogtied and strapped to her cycle before Labor Day.

Amina’s about to break into the movie biz in director Jeremy (All Souls’ Day, The Attic Expeditions) Kasten’s remake of Herschell Gordon Lewis’ The Wizard of Gore (with Crispin Glover as Montag the Magnificent!), so before she got too famous to consort with the likes of us, I wanted to go deep inside Mondo Munster and get her thoughts on all things sleazy. Here’s the result of our face-off.
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The Ultimate Degenerate: Amina, let's get the most important question out of the way first: Joan Jett or Lita Ford? And why?

Amina Munster: I'm not into either. I'm more into the classy bitches who don't wear their cunt on their sleeve.

Okay, fair enough. Explain the origin of your spectacular name. Especially the Munster part.

No great stories here. Munster is my married name. I got it from my bastard of a husband.

You are an internet superstar, the fantasy object of countless hipsters, bikers, and night crawlers everywhere, and a groundbreaking force for artistic rights, which leads me to wonder: what the hell are you doing talking to us?

 I'm into the sleaze, kiddies. You should know this.

Amina, the Cramps once famously asked, “What's inside a girl?” How do you respond?

A whole lotta fun stuff that I'd like to play with. Fisting should be an Olympic sport.

That is quite a mental image. In the movie I'm Gonna Get You Sucka, Bernie Casey says, “Every good superhero needs a theme song.” I think that said statement can be  extended to super-vixens as well, so: what's your theme song, and why?

Well, have a few and then fill us in.
s? Don't they know we don't speak Sp

One of my favorites was actually not intentional. I was at Knott's Berry Farm a few years back and decided it was a great idea to go on the swing ride that whips you around in circles with about 50 other people on swings. Well, my leg flew off and landed about 20 feet below me. Mothers were in horror, children were crying, and my friend who sat the ride out just calmly picked up the prosthesis and waited for the ride to run its course. Liberating and horrifying for children -- just how I prefer to pass my days.

Amina, is there such a thing as too much, too often?

When it comes to Coke, yes sir, I do believe that there is such a thing as too much, too often.

Ah, fuck it, who am I kidding? I’m the queen of over-indulgence, especially when it comes to head. I like it till my whole vag is raw, and I know I’ll be hating urinating for the next few days. Love head, high five! (Dane Cook reference)

Wow… two outstanding mental images in the same interview – meaning the raw part, not the Dane Cook reference. What is the easiest way to earn a free knuckle sandwich from you? And who was the last person that you served one to?

I'm not too into fighting unless it’s on the ice rink. Don't wanna mess up this face or knock out another tooth. But I did bash some broad over the head with a beer bottle at a bar off Grand in St. Louis. I do believe she was putting her vag in my old man’s face. Ain’t nobodies’ pussy better be getting that close to his face except for mine. KaaaaBooom!

Words to live by. Amina, what is the key to your heart? And where specifically is it located? Feel free to be explicit.

You've gotta be an Elvis man. If you're not, I’ll let you give me head and never return your phone calls. I do remember that I once dated this man who was as hot as a stolen caddy. And when he lifted up his shirt to reveal TCB on his stomach, I wished I was wearing Depends, because I could have shit my pants.

What would the Amina Munster action figure do? And what accessories would it come with?

Interchangeable prosthetic legs -- that would be sweet. Do action figures actually do anything?

Nah, but it’s a fun question to ask. Who are your idols?

Heather Mills McCartney: one-legged and soon to be a millionaire because that dipshit of a husband didn't sign a pre-nup.

Being so very well-inked, what was the worst tattoo you have ever seen?

It's gotta be my friend Lesley's Playboy bunny on her lower back that I hear was done while she was heavily intoxicated in Sturgis many, many years back. Not only is it a horrid Playboy bunny, which is usually the preference of giggling dipshit blondes, but it's really badly done as well.

Gore freaks will get an eyeful of you in The Wizard of Gore.  We gotta know: do you die in it, and if so, how?

I die twice in The Wizard of Gore. Crispin Glover (who plays Montag) throws bear traps at me, and eventually decapitates me. However, I’m more into my death at the hands of Kip Pardue. I got to make out with him in a bed saturated with blood while he ate me alive. It was pretty awesome.

Goddamn, it sure sounds it. Explain the attraction to men with gold teeth. Cause men with gold teeth, to me, bring to mind Flavor Flav, and, you know, God bless him, but he's no beauty queen.

Flavor Flav is a poser, that shit ain't real. He takes his grill out to fucking eat -- how lame is that?

Seems lame to me.

I find it humorous that the man's claim to fame isn't even the real deal. To me, wearing a fake gold cap on your tooth is just as lame as a temporary tattoo on your neck. I'm attracted to men who own it, particularly bikers. Gritty, raw and when he smiles you see a little bling,  that tells you he's a bad, bad boy.

When Hollywood finally comes to its senses and makes the Amina Munster biopic, who will play you? And more importantly, what will the poster look like, and what will be the tag line?

I’ll take a pass on all of the shitty Hollywood actors out there, although I do enjoy Christina Ricci and Rose McGowan. Slap some breast implants, hella sic tatties, and a super-shiny gold tooth on them, and kick ‘em on the set.

The poster: Me, naked, with a goalie stick, standing on the Rock of Ages with a sweet sunset behind me.

The tag line: “Hella Sic Tatties”*

This next question comes from our own Subculture Hero, who knows you’re a hockey fan and wanted to ask: If you could spend two minutes in the sin bin with any hockey player, who would it be and what would you do with them? (Note: Hero told me that the “sin bin” is the penalty box.)

I’ll take the ECHL’s Marco Peluso and the New York Rangers’ Henrik Lundqvist. Many minutes have been spent plotting kidnappings. TWo minutes is not nearing enough, I’d probably spend it sniffing their jerseys. I'm just getting warmed up.

And lastly, how can our socially well-adjusted readers pay homage to you with cards, letters, e-mails, and suspiciously damp packages?

Send your sleaziest ramblings to: aminamunster@gmail.com.

*“Hella Sic Tatties” is a joke, please do not actually use this phrase.

You can worship daily at the Temple of Amina by visiting AMINAmunster.net.
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PLUS!
Gore Wizard Goes Ga-Ga Over Suicide Girl!
Wizard of Gore Director Jeremy Kasten on Amina Munster
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“My experience with Amina was pretty remarkable all around. I found her, as with all the girls that Crispin’s Montag eviscerates in The Wizard of Gore, on SuicideGirls and asked her to come in to audition. She contacted me to make sure I would want to meet with her and warned me that she was missing a leg. None of her pictures at the time featured this, so I had no idea. Naturally, I was overjoyed. I think my response to her was ‘Even better!!’ Amina and I discussed using her missing limb as a gag within the film and she was really goddamn game. The bear trap that takes it off in the movie is quite effective.

One of Amina’s more astonishing features (I said one, not two, you dirty-minded skag) is the tattoo work that she has had copywritten or registered or what-have-you. This posed a particularly difficult problem for our effects team who had to hire an additional set of artists to work for a week to paint her tattoos on the silicone dummy we used for her decapitation. The results are spectacular, and I can tell you that several of the grip and electric crew asked if they could buy the nude, full-bodied silicone Amina from us. I can’t imagine what they would want with such a thing.

I am hoping to get my hands on it eventually.

One final thing I should mention about Amina is that she is an absolute doll AND an absolute badass: