That’s pretty much the way it goes with every relationship I’ve ever been in, and it sums up quite accurately the way most of my recent interviews have unfolded – sassy and whip-smart rock chicks with tender hearts and me trying to sully their good name and nature. But Daphna Dove was the one who found me, and you don’t play with fire unless you hope to get burned, right? Of course it didn’t take long to discover that Daphna eats fire for a living, man, and will spit it back at you in the wink of an eye. That’s called passion, my friends, and if you’re willing to indulge the idealistically endearing and intellectually sexy every now and then you’ll find that you really can have it all.  

There is an unwritten law that all New Yorkers are supposed to despise LA because it’s full of shit, but this business is full of shit wherever you go so why not at least have some sunshine? The funniest thing to me is that I got approached at a Coffee Bean on Sunset Blvd. to be on the Rockstar: INXS show. How annoyingly Hollywood is that? Bottom line, there are good and bad people wherever you go and its up to you to choose who you want to associate with. 

And so you chose to be on the Rockstar: INXS show. Was it really as lame as it looked? And please give us some behind-the-scenes dirt, preferably something involving fist fights or fucking. 

I wish there was some behind-the-scenes fist fights or fucking or perhaps a dirty combination of the two. The fact that there wasn't may answer your question about whether it was lame. Truthfully, I think we were all concerned about our artistic reputations- after all, it was a reality TV show and the American Idol cheese worried all of us. We did have some fun truth or dare games that got pretty sexual though. We were all pretty freaky behind those reality show doors. You know, there is a fine line between being a self-righteous artist and keeping your artistic integrity. The fact that I try not to be too self-righteous is the reason why I did the show, however my artistic integrity makes me happy that I got eliminated when I did. 

I don't think I dare probe any further, but freaky sounds fun. So how do you keep your artistic integrity intact then? It seems like the notion of artistic integrity is a pretty much a joke these days. 

Artistic integrity has become a joke because people don't know what it truly means. Most people see artistic integrity as fighting the system, or fighting the “machine”. We are so consumed with the fight that we forgot why we fell in love with music to begin with. We fell in love with its honesty- the unbridled baring of the soul. The courage it takes to say, “This is me, like it or not.” All genuine artists represent that from blues to punk. That is more beautiful and more powerful than conquering a system. That's what artistic integrity means to me but I have to remind myself of that every day. 

Ok, so we’re together, our eyes engaged in a quiet but meaningful slow dance, and I recite a few John Lennon quotes and discuss the science of String Theory. Are you saying I’ve got a shot?  

Um, excuse me, I didn't get the last part- I was too busy unbuttoning my shirt. 

I just forgot my next question. 

Damn- and that's just my shirt!

Yeah, it doesn't take much with me. Anyway, before this turns into a Penthouse Forum submission...um...I was trying to lead you into talking about how you're writing a screenplay involving String Theory. So, for the time being, how about you button up and tell us about that. 

It's all relative really. We resonate with different things. For me, the universe is one beautiful mix of John Lennon, Stevie Nicks, and Portishead. You seem pretty cynical, man. I might have to wake you up with a big fucking bucket of joy juice. Ok, that didn't sound right... 

Actually, that sounded VERY right. I don't know if it was a threat or come-on, but I liked it. What's the weirdest threat or come-on you've ever been subjected to? 

A really good come-on warrants a little bit of a threat, doesn't it? I have heard all the lines, as I am sure most women have, none of which you haven't heard (or used before). My favorite come-ons are from the couples though. I am always asked by couples to join them. Go figure. Straight women who want to “try it” with a woman always seem to approach me as well. Makes me smile. 

True, I did move to LA on Gene's advice but it was more like the straw that broke the NYC back. I love NYC with all my heart but I grew up there and I knew it was time for a change. I made a call out to the universe, asking for those inevitable signs at the crossroads, and they came to me. The final sign was a seven foot rock n’ roll God. I met him out one night in NYC. At the time I wasn't thinking about moving to LA. I wanted to talk to him about music but he was surrounded by the usual pack of silicone and ass-shaking. I thought to myself, “How the hell am I going to approach him without it looking like I am trying to suck his dick.” Then it hit me: he was Israeli. So, I introduced myself to him in Hebrew and we started talking. He asked me to leave my demo package with the concierge at his hotel the next day- which I did. He called me that day and we spoke for about an hour. He told me what he liked and didn't like about the music. That night I went to see him and Aerosmith play Jones Beach and he hooked me up with backstage passes and the whole VIP thing. He left NYC and we didn't talk again. A year later I see him in NYC when he had a release party for his solo album. At this point, I was considering an LA move but wasn't sure. As soon as he saw me, he recognized me, called me over, and introduced me as his little sister (which I took as a sign of respect). We spoke for a matter of five minutes tops. He said, “I think you should move to LA- I really think it would happen for you there.” Two minutes later he was out the door- two weeks later I made my way to Hollywood. 

So you’re Israeli then? Weren't you born in Germany? 

I am half Israeli (mom), half Yugoslavian (dad), born in Germany, raised in NYC. My mom was a famous singer in Germany and my dad discovered the Scorpions there. My mom is simply amazing and my dad was the most beautiful man to bless the planet with his presence. 

Wow, the Scorpions were discovered? I just assumed they were placed on this planet by the Gods of Rock to, well...you know. So how does that story go? 

My father was in music publishing in Germany and at that time, especially in Europe, a lot of music publishers also acted as A&R guys. My dad had a reputation for partying hard with the rockers and also being an honest and good businessman. So one evening in the winter of '69, a little unknown band called the Scorpions knocked on my father's door and asked him to come out with them for a drink. The rest, as they say, is history. My father recently passed (in April- one week before the final audition for Rockstar: INXS) and I never met the Scorpions until a couple months ago, as fate would have it (after my father's passing). I met Klaus and we sat, drank, and talked about my father. Later that night we were asked to perform “Winds of Change” together. On the last chorus, Klaus whispered in my ear, “This one's for your father.” Brought tears to my eyes, as it just did now. 

That's really cool. I gotta say though, I think this is the first time I've ever had someone taking their clothes off and crying in the same interview (even though it happens to me all the time in person). But seriously, what gives? Could your life be any more rock n' roll? 

If rock n’ roll means experiencing a new emotion almost every five minutes then I am as fucking rock n’ roll as you can get- or perhaps just schizo. Bi-polar even? Maybe you should call me Sybil! My life has always been full of simultaneous highs and lows. Duality seems to be the running theme in my life. Hey, at least it’s not boring! I LOVE diversity- on all levels, which is why I am working on an album called My World of Songs. 

Ooh, smooth segue. Ok, so tell us about that. Will it be as eclectic as it sounds?
 

Well, I can't say I know any Serbian rock n' rollers, but may I recommend The Genders for your Israeli collaboration? Getting’ hip in the Gaza Strip, no? 

Every day is a battle, every day is preparation for a possible war, so when Israelis want to let off steam, there is NO holding back. They party their asses off. They rave like you've never seen before and they rock pretty fucking hard. 

So it really is like Desmond Dekker says, huh? 

Get up in the morning, slaving for bread, sir,  so that every mouth can be fed. Poor me, the Israelite. Aah. 
Get up in the morning, slaving for bread, sir, So that every mouth can be fed. Poor me, the Israelite. Aah. 
My wife and my kids, they are packed up and leave me. Darling, she said, I was yours to be seen. Poor me, the Israelite. Aah. 
Shirt them a-tear up, trousers are gone. I don't want to end up like Bonnie and Clyde. Poor me, the Israelite. Aah. 
After a storm there must be a calm. They catch me in the farm. You sound the alarm. Poor me, the Israelite. Aah. 
Poor me, the Israelite. I wonder who I'm working for. Poor me, Israelite, I look a-down and out, sir. 

Did I mention that Israelis are sarcastic wise-asses too? God, I LOVE my people! We are so misunderstood. It's SO rock star! 

Ok, so you love your people, but is it true that your people love Smutstrutter? Apparently our lady of the night here at Sleazegrinder is adored in Israel. Can you confirm this? 

Hold on, let me call the Israeli intelligent forces and let you know. Better yet, I will wait until our monthly Jews Control the Media meeting to find out. Should be a really good meeting this month. The topic will be: Why be a doctor or lawyer when you can play one on TV? 

Yep, you were right about the sarcastic wise-asses thing! Ok, enough with the questions. Is there anything else you want to add before I get you to take your shirt off again? 

Just that you haven't heard the last of me. Music is my life and my passion and I will do it ‘til my dying day. I am diverse and dig all kinds of music and respect all artists who are genuine so don't be surprised if you hear me on a hip-hop or dance track as well in the near future. Pursuing a dream is a hard battle. Every day is a war with the industry but the real war is within us. My love and respect goes out to anyone pursuing a dream. Never give up, never surrender, and don't be afraid to shine.  

OK, now take off my shirt. 

Fuck me, I love this gig. Sorry, the show ends here for you, my friends. But you can check out Daphna at her Myspace page or at her soon-to-be up and running web site, where, unfortunately for you, she’ll be wearing a shirt.