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(It's not too late to fall in love with)
JESSICA TATE* By Jeff Warren __________________________________________________________________________________________
Jessica: Hey, this is my first interview, so it's kind of cool. Jeff: Well, have fun with this. We don't take things too seriously. We do, however, take things very sleazy. Are you cool with that? I'm down. Ok, so you just turned 19 years old, which means we can legally go ahead and have this conversation. What’s the best part about being 19? I got to drink in Canada and not have to worry about getting in trouble. Canada rocks! Other than that, nothing’s really changed. Yeah, I heard you came here for your birthday. What, no call? Ha. I forgot you were from Canada. I went to the Windsor Casino, so hopefully you don't live too close to it or I'll feel like an ass. The craziest part was that we didn't get there until 3:00 in the morning and we had to wait until 11:00 to drink. So I lost my money, had a Cosmopolitan, and then got my money back and then some. Yeah, I live about two hours from Windsor, but that's ok, I don't gamble. Or drink Cosmopolitans. So, what did you spend your winnings on? Rent, ha ha. I was hoping you were going to say a new web cam and a domain name because that would’ve been a great segue. But responsibility is good too, I guess. Anyway, like a good 19-year-old girl should, you recently went out and bought a web cam and set up your own site. Please tell us about that. I'm working through
iFriends. It’s good for me right now because I don't mind people
watching me. Besides, it gives me free time to do what I want with the rest of
my life, 'cause you don't stay young forever. Also, a girlfriend and I are
trying to start up an all-girl metal band and I'm working for a guy opening up a
club. So if I don't make it as a musician I have the club to fall back on. I'm
still working with
A Blaze
of Desire, pending
a contract, and I'm still a rep for the
I Love Vagina Clothing
Company. |
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Wow. Ok, let's take
this one thing at a time. So you say you don't mind people watching you. I
know I don't need to ask, but I will anyway...what are they watching you
do, exactly? Ha. It depends on my mood, actually, but it’s pretty much just me playing with myself. And how come I'm not watching you right now? I don't know! Well, I'm not live right now, but I'll probably go back on live after the interview. Ok, well, let's get this pesky interview out of the way so we can get you back to your show. So, do you chat with people too? Yes, of course. It’s a live web cam chat, after all. What's the strangest thing somebody has said to you or asked you to do during your show? Oh, god. I don't get that many weird requests. Well, not yet anyway. The weirdest requests I get are on my Myspace page. And man, there have been some strange ones. One person wanted me to send them my piss. That had to be the weirdest. |
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Yeah, sorry about
that. I needed it for an experiment. Ha ha. You know, one of my stripper girlfriends was actually paid $300 to piss in a cup and the dude sat there and drank it right at the bar. I think you're getting the hang of this interview thing. Awesome. So, you're also a Blaze of Desire model, pending a contract. How much are you holding out for? I don't know much about the contract yet. They just called me and told me I'm going to have to sign one to stay with them. Well, judging by your glorious ass, you should cash in. Thanks! And I hope
so. I want to retire at 30, unless I love what I'm doing. |
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Ah, to be young and
full of dreams... Only to be crushed by the weight of reality, right? If I were a pessimist I might actually believe that, but you know, shit happens in life, and you get what you give in most cases. I truly believe that if you set your heart and head somewhere and you’re determined to get there, you truly can. People just have to remember that as long as you're giving it your all and you're happy doing what you do, there's nothing to be ashamed of. Are you trying to bring enlightenment into this interview? Shame on you. My bad...I mean....fuck, I don't know what to say.
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That's why you were
blessed with that ass, my dear. I should smack you. I might like it. We all do. Alright, back on track... There's a track? Ha ha, no, of course not. So, the whole I Love Vagina thing – do you really love vaginas or are you just a vagina poseur? I do, especially mine because that's the one I really get off on. But I tend to sway more straight, just because dick is dick and it feels better. But give me one night with Angelina Jolie and I'd probably tell you a completely different story. Just make sure you capture it all on the web cam. Now, you also mentioned you're starting an all-girl metal band. I'm envisioning you bathed in blood and eating a bowl of killer bees. Am I far off? Hell yeah, you are.
I don't even know if it's going to be hard metal because the last band I
want to sound like is Kittie. I'm more of an original artist anyway. The
band is just in the works and so far it’s just me and my girlfriend, but
Jeffrey Nothing and Skinny from Mushroomhead are helping us out because
this world needs a kick ass chick band. |
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Whatever it is, I'm sure you'll be ok. You seem to have a lot of connections. You’re always getting your picture taken with musicians, which means you get backstage A LOT. What’s your secret? My secret is Marco, the drum tech for Lamb of God and Fear Factory and a few other bands, and just meeting different bands. I have a laundry list of backstage experiences. |
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I don't have many naughty stories, really, although I played nipple chicken with a girl on Lamb of God's tour bus once. The band wasn’t actually there to see it, but Marco got it on video.
Support local music because there are always new stars on the rise waiting to be heard. Plus, I hate EMO and it needs to get off the airwaves. So someone create something new. Like an all-girl Rammstein, right? Exactly. Oh, and support sex, drugs, & rock n' roll! Always. Ok, lightning round time... Which of these sets of songs best describe you: Live Wire, Rock N’ Roll Junkie, and Teaser OR Prime Mover, Wild Child, and Dangerous? Live Wire, Rock N' Roll Junkie, and Teaser. A Crue fan. Nice work. What's the best use for a leather mask: midget Spanish wrestling, BDSM super fun, or nu-metal band costume? Midget Spanish wrestling. Naturally. Can I be your bra for a day? Sure! Sweet. And finally, Cleveland or bust? Cleveland rocks! Well, most of the time. And so do you, Jessica. Well, she’s off to the watchers. What a sport. And what an ass. I wonder how it looks on camera. I think I’ll go find out… -FIN- __________________________________________________________________________________________ -Jeff Warren * I realize no one under 30 gets this reference, but I think it's funny anyway. - Sleaze |
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Not
much has come from Cleveland, man. The Dead Boys came from Cleveland by way of
Rocket from the Tombs and Frankenstein, and The Godz are from Cleveland, and
Drew Carey, Arsenio Hall, and Halle Berry were all born in Cleveland, but that’s
about it. This is what makes young Jessica Tate so special. Well, that
and her ass, which is a large (I mean perfectly round) part of the reason we
wanted to talk to her. Of course, we’re not so shallow around here as to only
care about a girl’s ass, no matter how soapy and buxom. See, Jessica is also the
star over at
Nipple
chicken…well, as a member of our All Girl Army, it seems like you’re doing
your part for the Super Rock Revolution. Of course, we here at
Sleazegrinder feel it’s important that everyone does their part for the
Super Rock Revolution, but there’s always more that can be done. Any
ideas?