ANOTHER CATHOLIC GIRL GONE BAD
Sleazegrinder VS. Jessie Matthews __________________________________________________________________________________________

Jessie Matthews is not some druggy porno chick looking for cheap fame from the rock n’ roll burnout/midnight stroker crossover crowd.

Not that we have any problem with those kinda girls, in fact, we dig ‘em greatly. She’s just not one them. No, our girl Jessie is here simply because she’s as ROCK as she is HOT, and that’s pretty remarkable. A wayward Catholic girl on the lam from the boring old USA, Jess split her squaresville Midwest hometown a year ago for the sleaze rock Valhalla of Spain. She says it’s to ‘study’, but that’s only because she’s afraid her mom might be reading. Really, she’s a streetwalkin’ cheetah in a strange land, breaking hearts and pulling plays in a whole new continent. She’s also keeping a keen eye on the Spanish rock n’ roll scene, which is little-known at best outside of the country, largely because of the language barrier. But Jessie, that sneaky tart, actually knows Spanish, so she’s got the inside scoop. Look for her ongoing insider reports later this year. If she gets around to it, that is. Like I said, she’s got a lot of streetwalking cheetah-ing to do.

Will all this high falutin’, old-world Eurotrash ‘culture’ ruin our fair Jessie? Ultimately, sure. She’s gonna have those sunglasses, you know the ones, and she’s going to drink that disgusting coffee that comes in the thimbles, and probably she won’t even remember all the great things about the USA, like, um…Pabst Blue Ribbon, fake tits, and Nashville Pussy. But let’s face it, we’ll have moved on to the next druggy porno chick by then anyway. For now, we present you with our favorite expatriate rocker girl, the beautiful and very witty Jessie Matthews.  

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So why did you end up moving to Spain? I know, for school, but what kind of school? What are you studying to do?

I'm basically in a study abroad program at a Jesuit university here in Bilbao (read: Yes, I am a BAD CATHOLIC GIRL). I'm studying Spanish language and literature and someday I'll be a broke teacher with millions of dollars in loans to pay off.  Anybody wanna be my Sugar Daddy?

Does everybody miss you back home in Kansas City, or did you leave in a  trail of destruction and broken hearts?

I think everyone misses me there from what I can gather, although I'm sure I broke a few hearts and POSITIVE that I destroyed A LOT of things along the way...  I usually don't leave anywhere without leaving a trail of carnage behind me, honey.  It's just the way it is.

Are you ever going back, or what?

I'm going back for a couple months between May and July to sell off my life in the States and then I come back here to Spain for at least another couple years so I can finish school.  And break some hearts  and destroy some shit.

I am trying to think of come good KC questions, but there aren't any,  really. Except for this: what's the creepiest place in town, and have you  ever boned there?

Um, the creepiest place in town?  The only thing creepy about Kansas City are all the people doing the Thorazine Shuffle down Main Street, and I'm definitely not boning any of those dudes. I had sex in a graveyard in DeSoto, Kansas once, and it was kind of hot and creepy at the same time.  But I'm sick like that.  And no, I'm not goth.

Ok, so what's the deal with Spanish bands, why don't they sing in English like all the rest of the European bands? Don't they know we don't speak Spanish?

My experience has been that most of the dudes in these bands don't speak English, or at least don't speak it very well.  Even when they cover English language songs it ends up being a little funny at times. There's nothing better than hearing "Yudi eez a Poonk" sung by a bunch of Spaniards.  I suppose they know we don't speak Spanish, but I don't think they give a fuck.  

You know, never in my life did I think that being a girl from Kansas City, Missouri would be "exotic", but apparently here in Spain it is! That's about the only weird thing.  No one's really asked me much about Dubya...  It must be the tits.all the rest of the European bands? Don't they know we don't speak Sp

Jessie, I saw this Spanish movie called Day of the Beast, and in one scene, the guy went to an all-Satanic heavy metal record shop in Madrid. And it was awesome. Please tell me that place is real, and that you hang out there.

Dude, totally.  I hang out there every day.

I knew it! Also, in that same movie, I noticed zero ethnic types on the street. Is everybody there Spanish, or do they mix it up a little?

Well, it depends on where you are. But here in the Basque Country there's definitely less ethnic types here than in the States.  But really, I'm OK with just looking at gorgeous Spanish men all day long. I'm really, really, REALLY OK with it.

I've been to one castle and it was total bullshit.  The castle at some point in history had caught on fire, so everything in the interior had been reproduced.  Then I had to pay an extra 2 Euros to climb the tower.  And when they say "climb the tower" they ain't kiddin'.  157 steps or something, and narrow, steep steps at that.  With people going up and down the tower in both directions.  Fuck that shit.  The moral of the story = Castles: nice to look at, sucks to climb the tower.  I can think of other towers I'd rather climb.

Alright, that's enough about Spain, let's talk about you.  Are you gonna buy a copy of Chinese Democracy? If not, please explain.

What the fuck is Chinese Democracy?  I stopped paying attention to everything but Spain about 6 months ago.  Is it important?  Do I sound like a dumbass?

Oh, boy. Guns N' Roses' new album!

(laughs) Like a NEW NEW one? Like I said, I haven't been paying attention to anything outside of Spain for months now.

Yeh, a new new one. Comes out in April, I think. First new album in 9 years.

GAH... I'm totally in a hole of Spanish garage rock and punk.  Steven Adler's band just played here and I thought that was kinda funny...

I know, this little Spanish chick named Lia wrote a review of that gig (or one of 'em) for the site. But anyways, now please answer the question.

Um, probably not.  I'm not sure why everyone thinks it will kick tons of ass for Guns-n-Roses to put out an album after 9 years of nothingness.  They've done some GREAT stuff in their time, but dude, "Appetite for Destruction" kicked complete ass and plus, Axl ain't cute in that sleazy rocker way anymore. In my experience it's always better when everyone's coked up, boozed up, and fucking strippers in the limo.  Once you lose all that shit you lose the genuine gross-hotness of the music.

Are you offering to buy me drinks?  Know anybody that wants to take me out and get me drunk?  Fuck YES getting me drunk is a good idea!  Try it and see, motherfuckers.

There are so many good, sad songs.  Right now I'm gonna go with "Wild Horses" by the Rolling Stones.  It breaks my heart every time.

-FIN-