Ahem. Ms. Swede took time from her busy schedule of devouring men whole, screaming, and alive to endure a round of interrogation from The Ultimate Degenerate, who wishes to thank Rick at PumaSwede.com and Wayne Hentai from Hentai PR for making this interview happen.

* No offense, Puma. -- UD

The Ultimate Degenerate: So we totally get the “Swede” part of your name, because you’re Swedish. But where does the Puma come from? You like the animal or the sneakers? 

We here at Sleazegrinder HQ crave affirmation from hot women, so tell us: what was it about Sleazegrinder.com that made you want to talk to us?

Who said I wanted to talk to you? Ha-haaa, just kidding! No, you guys ROCK and what's better than that?

Noooo... I'm such a total sweetheart! I like you guys shorter cause then I can squeeze your head between my boobs!

All right, so I’ll have to kneel. So explain something to me. During the ‘70s, Sweden was like the capital of free lover and liberated sex – every XXX movie had “Sweden” in the title. Now, my people are from Italy, and I like to think they’re a pretty sexy bunch, but what is it about the Swedes that gives them the monopoly on sex?

Um, nothing.

I believe there is a myth about us Swedes that we’re totally wild and still act like we’re living in the 60's and 70's when it comes to sex. And that's almost true.

Good to know. Speaking of Swedish culture, Sleazegrinder wanted to know: Backyard Babies or The Hellacopters? 

Backyard Babies. I like the looks of Dregen...

He’ll be glad to hear that. So you’re an American citizen now, and congrats on joining our teeming masses. What was the first thing you did after getting your green card? Me, I would've pantsed a cop, but I'm not you. 

I don't even know what pantsed means. Probably something naughty?

More stupid than naughty.

The absolute first thing I did was just jump around with my cat, who looked kind of confused. Then I went back to Sweden and visited family and friends and partied like hell!

You recently made the jump to boy-girl performances in Puma Swede's School of Hardcore, which is probably my favorite movie title of this week. What classes would you teach at the School of Hardcore, and would it take more than an apple to get a good grade from you? \

I've always dreamed of living like in the movie Thelma & Louise! I would be a female version of Robin Hood, and take from the rich and give to the poor! Is that a crime?

Not if you’re doing it. Is it worse to be ignored or punched in the face?

 Punched in the face. I make sure nobody ignores me...

Since world domination is the only goal in life, what are your plans to take over the planet? And when that happens, how do we make sure we're on your good side? 

I'm too relaxed to try and take over the world. I’ll let somebody else do it, as long as I can relax and have sex. You guys will always be on my good side, so you just concentrate on rocking on!

Whew – okay. Assuming that your husband would allow it, which historical figure (from past or present) would you want to have sex with? 

Does Casanova count?

He does, and good for you for taking the classical route. What was the worst tattoo you've ever seen? 

I used to work at a laser clinic in Sweden where we removed tattoos, and this one girl came in with a huge cock tattooed between her boobs. The balls, which were all hairy, where at her stomach, and the cock was coming all over her chest. That was a funny one.

Who plays you in the movie biography of your life? And more importantly, what's the title and the movie tag line?

That's a tough one. I haven't gotten that far yet and I'm not planning on quitting or dying in the next few years, so you just have to check with me later on that one...

Will do. Obviously, our readers will want to dedicate their lives to keeping you happy by sending e-mails, fan club requests, and large sums of money to you. What's the best way to do that?