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Germanic Thighs!
Katja Kassin
VS
Sleazegrinder: A Super Rock Quiz |
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"Sex is a Battle, Love is War" – Rammstein
But her ass is just one facet of the KK experience, man. Sure, it’s the one you pay to see, but Katja also has a disarmingly adorable baby-face, a sexual fearlessness that borders on psychotic, a cute accent, and…brains? Yep, Katja’s one of those ‘smart’ skinstars. I know, Americans think all Euros are smart ‘cuz they chain smoke and scoff at hamburgers or whatever, but seriously, KK’s not yr average gum-snapping, cum-slurping ass-bunny. Well, unless she’s getting paid for it. Katja’s filmography
spans almost 100 movies now, most of ‘em with “ass” in the title.
Classicks like “Truly Nice Ass 6”, “Look What’s Up My Ass 2”,
“Assentials”, and, of course, “Cum in My Ass, Not in My Mouth”.
And yes, I have seen them all. I’m a fan, man. When she is not
jetsetting from Germany to LA to shoot increasingly aggro ass-fuck scenes,
she is working on her bitchin’ website,
Katjakassin.com, where you can not only ogle at 1,000’s of KK pix
and vid clips, but you can also buy
soap shaped like Katja’s pussy. Would be even cooler if the soap
SMELLED like her pussy too, but technology isn’t quite that
advanced yet. Anyway, Katja is the total package, baby, and she was
nice enough to take the time and answer some of my stupid questions. I
realize that the Super Rock Quiz is generally reserved for Super
Rock bands, but Katja is as close to a Super Rocker as an all-ass German
chick is gonna get, believe me.
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Wanna
Buy Some Katja Kassin movies? Do it here! |
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Sleaze: How old were you when guys first noticed
your ass? How much later was it when you realized you could actually make
a living off of your ass? Katja: I started realizing that there was something about my ass when I got into porn. I only got negative comments about my fat ass before. I never planned on making a living out off my ass, I thought I'd be doing a few movies to have some extra cash and then go back to Germany and throw a big party for all my friends. To my surprise and confusion, American pornographers liked me so much that they begged me on their knees to come back. Score: Correct. 10 points. Americans love fat asses. See the entire Midwest for proof. Sleaze: How many languages do you speak, and which one is the best to talk dirty in?
Katja: English was my first
foreign language. I learned English for 9 years at school and 2 years at
University. I learned French 7 years, Russian 3 years, Latin 2 years and
Dutch 2 years. Unfortunately, I don't have the chance to practice French
much, and I forgot all of my Russian.
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Katja: Actually, it is a bright red. I used to have the same red with blonde highlights. Score: Um, ok. I’m not a hairdresser, man. Sleaze: When’s the last time you punched somebody? Katja: I was 8 years old and broke a guy's nose. He was 2 years older than me and double the weight and the size - He used to push me around every day, same time after school - so I had to beat him up.
Score:
And that bully grew up to be German Pop Idol
Alexander Klaws.
True Story.*
10 points! |
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Sleaze: Do you think it’s harder, or easier, to be a smart porn star? Katja: In Germany we say something like "Dumb fucks good..." Score: I think we may use that slogan on the back of Sleazegrinder t-shirts from now on. 100 points! Sleaze: In order to dispel the myth that Germans have no sense of humor, what’s your favorite joke? Katja: Two brothers are walking down the street, one sneaks around the corner...
Score:
That's all she gave us.
Umm, wait, I have one. 1,000 Years of German Humor.
Oh, and for some
truly hilarious jokes from Germany (ex: Q: How many electricians does it take
to change a light bulb? A: One.)
go here. Katja: Once again folks: I don't know how to talk your girlfriend into anal! |
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Score:
-10 points. I was really hoping she was gonna help me with that one.
Katja: Udo, of course: "Sonderzug nach Pankow". Score: The proper answer is "Udo/Doro sandwich!" However, I think Katja just called Doro a lezzie, so 100 points! Sleaze: Rammstein or Die Krupps?
Katja: Rammstein. |
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Score: Correct. Mecha-dildos and fire always wins. 100 points. Sleaze: Do you think a lot of the stuff they ask you to do in films is actually kind of stupid? I mean, no girl would actually be INTO ‘cum fart cocktails’ in real life, would they? Katja: NO...
Score:
I
dunno if she means no to the first question, or the second. Doesn’t
matter, really, cuz “Cum
Fart Cocktails” was phenomenal. Fuckin’ stupendous. |
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Sleaze: The Scorpions – national treasure? Katja: Never really cared about them at all. Score: Mein Gott! Minus 100 points! “Sie gehend, zu wem
zu hören, Mann, ca. Zwanzig Einjahresgeschlechtstern mit einem fetten Esel
oder ein echter deutscher Felsen und Rollen-GOTT? Ich bedeute, erhalte
MIT
IHM, Baby. |
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Sleaze: How many fingers is too many fingers? Katja: Everything more than one hand. Score: Well, that says it all. 10 points. Sleaze: Finally, please say something sexy in German. Doesn’t matter if it IS sexy, as long as it sounds that way. Katja: "Es ist nicht genug zu wissen, man muß auch anwenden. Es ist nicht genug zu wollen, man muß auch tun." - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Score:
Paul Gaita translated this for me, and it’s not really that sexy. However,
Katja told me she was sitting on a banana when she said it, so she gets a
full 100 points anyway.
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-Sleazegrinder
*Not really. |
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| Pix courtesy www.sexykatja.de | |
German
porn superstar Katja Kassin has the greatest ass you or I will ever
see. That’s good news, because let’s face it, we’re not gonna live
forever, and who wants to go on guessing who possesses the
greatest-ass-ever their whole miserable life? Katja’s is the Mother
Of All Asses, baby, impossibly round and ripe, and practically
dripping with nectar. Does it jiggle? Only when you smack it up, man.
Otherwise it’s firm and tight and sticking straight out like a hitch
hiker’s thumb, just beggin’ for attention. Perfect. It has been plundered
by many men in the last few years, on film and off, some deserving and
appreciative, some truly wretched and abusive. That’s just the way of the
Porno Jungle. Yet it remains in prime-gonzola condition, a stunning and
intoxicating sight to behold. 
Sleaze:
So, if some chick
came up to you and said, “I love your hair, what color is it?” would you
tell them, or is it a secret? If it’s not a secret, what IS the color? I
mean, I know it’s pink, but what shade
of pink?
