Lamont

Stand Still, That Head Is Mine

Are all of your songs revenge for playground injustice as a child?

"Yep." - Pete Knifling

The morally profound, comic book colored saga of Lamont begins with 3 guys standing on the side of a deserted road on the lower lip of Nowhere, USA, kicking up clods of dirt and staring at the sun. Each one clutches a bus ticket marked 'Destination Lonely' in their sweaty palm. Each one contemplates killing the other two on an almost hourly basis. All 3 are about to embark on a very heavy date with destiny.

A bus finally shoots over the flatline horizon, but it's not the familiar red striped Greyhound bus, oh no. This is the Good Time bus, the magic bus with the tinted windows and '666' scrawled in neon pink spray paint on the side, and exhaust fumes that smell like chocolate and bottled tears, the bus a young Lamont were warned to never ever get on lest they never make it back home again. So Lamont got on the fucking bus.

There was a 300 ring circus performing inside with pornstars and truck drivers and headbangers and cute punk chicks and cowboys who drag their coffins around with them. Lamont sat down heavily between a group of headless children and a blissfully stoned Johnny Blaze. The ghost of Johnny Thunders was driving the magic bus. He punched some letters into the digital destination banner so that it read 'Suffragette City', and then he picked up the mic and drawled, "loosen up your seatbelts, this ain't that kind of trip. Before we leave, you cats wanna hear the hippy shit or the electric shit?"

"Goddamn Electric!" Growled Lamont. And they meant it. And they hit the road.

Two years later, and we're sitting in a fern bar near Fenway park. Normally, 3 punkn'roll superstars and a sleazy rock journalist wouldn't get passed the door, but skinsman Todd's lovely wife Lydia, whom he's already shown off like the first kid on the block with an atomic purple Gameboy, works here, so we drink vitamin water with lemon slices floating in the glass and behave ourselves like a bunch of Americans. Lamont are about to release their soon to be crawling towards platinum debut full length cd, 'Population 3' They are quite fucking pleased.

A pitbull, a St. Bernard, and a bloodhound all howling at the same moon, Lamont are : Pete, vocals and guitar; Mike, bass; Todd, drums

I Heard You Got A Rocking Band

So, it says here that 1 out of 3 American males suffers from delusions of grandeur at some point in their lives...

T: That'd be Pete.

Pete's mouth stretches into a wry smile, like Wolverine in a Charlie Brown mask, and spills out Lamont's history.

P: It all started two years ago. Originally we were called 'Plague on Wheels', but nobody liked the name. So I'm sitting in the Model one night, and Tim Catz comes up and says he's got a couple band names. The first on was some stupid shit, but the other was Lamont. I liked it because it sounded big, like 'the mountain'.Also it sounds like the car, you know 'Le mans', which is a cool car. It was me and Meghan Mclaughlin on drums and this other bass player, but Meghan freaked out after 3 gigs and ran off.

N: Freaked out?

P: I don't think she liked us putting cigarettes out on her ears when she fucked up. So then we got Todd. And we had all these different bass players. One guy couldn't even tie his own shoes, never mind play. For awhile, we even had Meghan's sister Kate in the band, but that didn't work either.

N: Obviously, chicks don't work out in Lamont.

P: Naw. But we are looking for some dancers.

M: Yeh. We're having auditions at our space.

P: So anyway, I was talking to the guys in Tree, and they said, 'we got this guy for you, he's perfect, he's toured with Gangreen...

M: I memorized all the songs on their e.p., went down and played them, and that was it.

T: This line up really clicks now. I mean, I hate Pete, I think we all do, but we still get along.

M: It's the best possible situation for me, because in a 3 piece you have more creative input. But the rent is more expensive. That's a minor drawback, though, because I just love to go all out and rock. And the best part is, the rehearsal space is right next to my house.

N: So what did Lamont sound like at the beginning?

M: Like pumped up Rockabilly.

P: Yeh, I was seeing 8 Ball Shifter alot. I really liked their sound, it was surfy and spooky, and I thought, 'yeh, I can do that'. Only I wanted it to sound harder. We started out with really fast surf kind of stuff, and now it's more R&B oriented.

N: What?!?

P: Well, it is. It's very groove oriented. It's definitely not stoner rock, but it's hard, guitar driven rock.

M: I think because Pete's from the south, it's got that southern hard rock, C.O.C. twang to it.

T: we're definitely slowing down as we get better. We used to rip right through the set, because we were afraid that we were gonna fuck up.

P: Yeh, it's getting more like ZZ Top and the Stooges. It's very Motown. At least in my mind.

My Flaming Skull Don't Give A Fuck

N: Let me ask you an important question about your new record, 'Population 3'...

T: It's a real place, my dad took the picture of the sign that's on the cover. There's only 3 people in the town, and we're a power trio, so it was perfect.

N:Well at least you know where you're gonna play your last gig.

P: Yeh. Two trailers, a back hoe, and a generator. Light 'em up! N:Ok. But that's not the question. I was wondering who's tits are on the cd tray.

P: I promised I wouldn't tell. Allright, it's Mike and Todd's moms. You can tell from the tattooes.

N: Well, they're holding up rather well.

P: I'm real happy with the album. I think it blazes.

T: I didn't know if I could actually record some of the drum parts. I couldn't get them down in rehearsal, but luckily I banged them out in the studio.

N: So you write songs that you can't actually perform? That's pretty Goddamn profound.

P: We do it all the time. Then we have to rewrite them to make them simpler. It's a process.

N: I think 'Hellhound' is an excellent song to crash your car to. Is that what it's for?

P: No. It's about having sex.

N: But the chorus is "Burn, burn, burn Hellhound!"

P: Yeh, it's very abstract.

N: What about 'Flaming Skull'? Is that about you Southern Baptist snake handling past?

P: It's about having demons, I guess.

M: It just sounds like a rock song, like what this song about? Well, fuck, it's about a flaming skull...

N: It's almost like you guys made a concept record about Revelations, only with motorcycles.

P: Unfortunately, we're not that smart. The concept was, we need to finish the record.

The Perils of Rock and Roll Decadence

N: So now that you're 'band with record', there's gotta be some perks. I know Todd's married, but what about you two? Does Lamont get the chicks?

P: Oh, I got the chick.

N: In the trunk of your car? Sealed up in the basement?

P: Let's just say I got it covered. Mike got laid from being in Lamont. Tell him the story. This is good...

M: I had these chicks staying over my house for the weekend, and we took them up with us when we played in Providence. They saw this other side of me when I was rocking out on stage. I think the big red head liked it. She was 5'8". She had all the right curves. It was like climbing a tree.

P: Tell him the best part.

M: The other two girls were in the bed with us. What was I gonna do, sleep in my own hallway? All I can say is, the bed smelled like pussy. It was good, man.

N: Fantastic. Have any Lamont shows spiralled out of control?

P: Oh yeh, once we did too many drugs before we went on stage. We were all coked up, it was horrible. We made it to the last song, and then it was three people playing three different things.

T: I got halfway through before I realized I was playing a completely different song then they were. I just looked at them and said,"What the fuck are we doing?

Another Town, Another Gig, Again We Will Explode

N: You guys like splitting town.

P: we love touring, man.

M: Yeh, but don't get us wrong, though. We like being a Boston band.

P: I defy you to find another scene like ours anywhere in the country. They don't have a scene like this in New York. In LA, it's all industry types, it's not very real. Maybe Austin, or something has some cool bands, but not like this.

M: I only wish we had more places to play around here.

N: No kidding. The clubs are like their own ghettos. The Linwood and the Middle East are the only places that let us rock the fuck out.

P: And O'Brien's too. But yeh, we like to hit the road whenever we can. We've gone as far as Chapel Hill.

N: Who would you like to tour with?

P: ZZ Top, Speed Dealer.

M: Motorhead.

P: But like, old ZZ Top. Not the shit they do now... We should be going out later this year, we just got a new van.

Giving the Dog A Bone

P: I tell you man, if I could have seen 5 years ago to what I'm doing today, I'd cut off my own fucking feet to be doing what I'm doing. It's so awesome to be a part of something you've been dreaming of your whole life.

N: Right. I mean what else is there? as far as I can tell, only two thing in this world really matter: The glory of rock, and the miracle of pussy.

P: I agree. I don't even know how to do anything else, really. I mean, I work in a photo lab, but I don't know shit about photography. If I didn't have Lamont I'd probably just drink more, and watch tv.

By the time you read this, Lamont should be bigger than Jesus. To worship from the confines of your home, check them out at www.lamontband.com. Or better yet, check out their next show. Hard rock gets you laid, after all.