Random Road Mother


Random Road Mother are like the devil riding an ice cream truck. They’re like bad poetry recited in broken English by Latina supermodels. They are rock and roll in the pornographic sense, a ramshackle thumping of punk fried, pop infused cocaine boogie that barrels straight into the pleasure centers of sex monsters, electric children, and slam dancers everywhere, an endless party where all the drinks are free, there’s never a line for the bathroom, and the hangovers only tickle. Lording over the proceedings like a blue-haired, benevolent Rasputin is the randomest road mother of them all, Dave Unger. You know the cat. He’s the guy that’s always walking around the club with a fist full of drink tickets and hugging all the hot chicks. And even if you don’t, you’ve probably got an uncle just like him, so you know the drill. He’s the kind of guy that lights his hands on fire in some botched attempt at bathtub acid, and, panicking, frantically tries putting them out in whatever unfortunately flammable materials are around, successfully burning his trailer to the ground. Then he goes straight to the bar, still smoking, to laugh about it. That kind of guy.

The Life and Death of the Party

"When I was in high school I was in the jazz band and I dressed up like John Belushi did in the Blues Brothers. So I guess I’ve always been a show off, or a prick, whatever you want to call it." Hailing from Wrenthem, Massachusetts, ("The asshole of the Universe" he assures me) Dave’s reputation as a scene maker, heart breaker, and emergency medic for the walking wounded was forged early on. "When I was a sophomore in high school, my mom went to Europe for a month, and I had a month long party. I was like ‘Ferris Buehler’ type of guy, I got along with everybody. You know, because I opened my door for them and let them vomit in my house." But like a safari hunter at the zoo, Dave soon found himself with nothing left to kill, and he took off like misguided missile on a thrill mission. "I actually moved to Bethlehem New Hampshire, to work at Loon Mountain as a cook for a month, thinking I could have a good time. So there I was, no drugs, no beer, nothing to do, and I was just like, what the fuck am I doing here? I’m going to Boston to be in a band." And that’s just what he did. "My first band was called ‘Carnal Carnival’ with Joe Bonni, from the Weekly Dig. That was my first band, and we were fucking awful." The Carnival are remembered more for running around naked and drunk then they were for their musical legacy. Dave has a simple explanation for his first band’s sound. "Punk rock. And with Joe in the band, we were pretty political. So when we were done, I wanted to something that was just fast and fun." Throw ‘fucked and furious’ into the mix as well, and you have the roots of Random Road Mother. "I used to listen to a lot of AC/DC and Rush and Pink Floyd, and then I think I heard Iggy Pop, and then I branched out to the Sex Pistols and the Ramones", Dave tells me. "But the band that really did it for me was this local band, Left Nut. We played with those guys in my first band, probably one of the first gigs I ever played, and they were so cool, and they got so fucked up, but when they played they were just dead on. They just blew my mind. After that, I just tried to find the ‘Left Nut’ of every city, which brought me to bands like the Supersuckers." Pungent stew of influences? Check. Dedicated hell raisers to back him up? Check. Band name? "It’s a stupid story." Most rock and roll stories are, but still, they must be told. "Frank, our bass player- his mother met DRI at some rest stop on the road while they were on tour, and she was talking to them. She came back and told Frank that she met some very nice boys on the road that call themselves ‘Dirty Rotten Imbeciles". They’re actually friends of ours, so we were all laughing about that. And somebody, I think it was me, said, ‘Imagine that, just meeting random road mothers at rest stops’. Frank said, ‘That’s the name of the band!’ So it stuck. I wanted to name the band ‘Stiff Kitty’, but I got outvoted. So, you can take it like that, but it could also be a groupie, it could be any fucking thing you want it to be, really." It could even be a high speed rock band driving on holy gasoline. "Exactly. And at the time, everybody was like, ‘the Cretins’, you know, all these one name bands, so we thought we’d test everybody’s memory with a three name band." With a five year history of boozing, pranks, volume and velocity behind them, even the most chronic blackout drivers among us know their name. And they wouldn’t want it any other way. "Yeah, I like being in a Boston band", Dave tells me. "You can’t throw a stick without hitting somebody in a band around here, and I think that raises the level of creativity. Either that, or you could say there’s a lot of shitty bands that flood the market place. I like to go to O’Brien’s just to see who’s playing, and if they suck, that’s just as good as seeing a good band. I’d love to find the worst band in Boston. I’ve seen some bands clear the room at O’Brien’s, and I think that’s great, I think it’s funny as hell."

All Punk Must Rock

Random Road Mother call themselves a punk band, but that’s only to keep the squares guessing. You won’t find any safety pins or vaguely threatening protest songs at one of their shows. "As opposed to being angry and political all the time, then no, I’m not a punk rocker. I’m a pretty happy go lucky guy. I like to get fucked up and have a good time, and that’s what I like to put across in the band. Maybe it’s because I’m too old, but I’m just not pissed off enough at anything to bring it into my music", Dave says. "We play with a lot of Ramonesy bands and hardcore bands, and I don’t know, that shit just doesn’t really sit well with me. Although I do like the genre, it tends to get a little bit tedious. I’d rather play a rock show. There’s more styles going on. Even though the metal people might not like some of the punk shit going on or whatever, I like the variety of a rock show. But a gig’s a gig, man." Another thing you won’t find at a Random Road Mother gig is a lead singer with ropy mane of blue dreadlocks. Not anymore, anyway. "You know when you cut down a tree and they have the little rings inside? You could see the rings of filth in my hair." Dave had kept his unruly, instantly recognizable nest of head snakes for nearly a decade before finally pruning them last month. "I think the main reason was probably Mr. Butch." For all the neophytes of Boston out there, Mr. Butch is a sort of local mad prophet; a ball of confusion, dreadlocks, philosophy and a battered acoustic guitar that channels folk songs from Outer Space. He was once affectionately known as the ‘King of Kenmore Square’, but then the goofy bastards tore it down. Now he’s more like the prince of Commonwealth Avenue. "The story he told me was that his hair was too heavy, so he had to cut it off. Really, he got lice, so they had to cut off his hair", Dave says. " So, I saw him that day, maybe the day after, at the Model café. He had his head down, and he was running his fingers through his hair, you know. And I just figured, if they’re that important to Mr. Butch, then fuck it. I was getting sick of them anyway. They stank, and there’s too many asshole bands like Korn anyway. They just didn’t mean that much to me, so I clipped them." New haircuts aren’t the only changes in the Road Mother camp these days. Illustrious cop fighting cock rocker Craig Riggs recently joined the struggle, pounding the skins and adding a little rock star machismo to the mix. Although he’s also a fulltime member of Quitter, as well as the never truly defunct Roadsaw, the infamous Mr Riggs has been both gigging and recording with the band. "His take on it is that that he was just going to fill in for a couple of gigs, but he said that he was having such a good time that he’d stick around until he was too busy to do it. He’s our permanent fill-in, you could say. He’s been nothing but the best, I can’t say enough about the guy. He’s an amazing drummer, and a sweetheart of a guy." Craig’s trademark pounding will be featured on the new Random Road Mother album. You know, the one that was supposed to be out two months ago. "The record’s not done yet", Dave explains. " What happened was, we did 12 songs, and they came in at under a half an hour. So we decided we wanted to make it a little longer. We’ve got two new songs ready to go, so we’re probably going to record those in a couple of weeks, and hopefully, the record will be out in December or January." The classic pop-punk ghetto fabulousness of ‘99’s ‘Mediterranean Avenue’ album will return on the new record, but Dave also says that you’ll see more ‘attitude’ than before. "It’s got a bit more piss to it, I’d have to say. It’s a fast and fun record. The songs all clock in at about 2:12", Dave says, like a train conductor checking his pocket watch. "Get in, get out, you know. I have a short attention span." Dave’s trademark tongue in cheek humor will also make a welcome return. "It’s just mostly things that I see that I think are funny. I’m pretty sarcastic." He gives an example. "I was just sitting home after the bar one night, and I saw an ad for a tractor/trailer school. I thought that would be the funniest thing, to just drop out and be a truck driver, so I wrote a song about it." Although only the most rock damaged, over stimulated mind would consider a career in driving the big rigs ‘dropping out’, you get the drift. "The title for the album that I came up with is ‘Mother, Jugs and Speed’, because that’s what all the songs are about. ‘Not lucky Enough’ is another one, because our van just broke down, and it had a lucky 7 on the front, and somebody wrote ‘Not lucky enough’ on it." In the meantime, you’ll find Random Road Mother in the thick of every happening, powder party, and rock and roll situation in town. Rock City would be a quieter, lonelier place without them. When I ask Dave what he thinks Random Road Mother’s appeal is, he says, simply, "I like to think of it as universal. It’s fucking rock." Somebody buy that man a drink.

While most of your friends will most likely be receiving draft cards for Christmas, you might just be lucky enough to score a copy of ‘Mother, Jugs, and Speed.’ Until then, go to www.roadmother.com for gig listings, further perils of punk rock decadence, and some flickering images that are either home made porn or the Random Road Mother cooking show, it’s hard to tell.