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Singles January, 2005 __________________________________________________ |
 I should preface this month’s
journey to vinyl-ville by mentioning that my bony Sony stereo (pilfered,
by the way, from dead uncle Nick) is fucked. One of the channels (I wanna
say left, but since I’m sitting across from it, who knows?) is fried, and
the other one sounds like the speaker is somewhere deep down inside a
vacuum cleaner bag. I put off reviewing the singles for a while now,
because I just figured we’d buy a new stereo, maybe one of those Bose
jobs, ya know. But when I mentioned it to Stacey, she said, “So, how do
you plan on paying for this new stereo? Do you have a magic hat
that you can pull money from now?”Alas, I do not have a magic hat. I guess I’ll just have to suffer with half a stereo system. More like a fuckin’ mono system. Anyway, given my predicament, I cannot vouch for the production on any of these rekkids, but seeing as most of ‘em are punk rock, they probably all sound like empty suitcases being thrown down stairs, on purpose. And away we go. Not Psycho Enough? (V/A) This is the first in a series of single comps that pay tribute to
Aussie punk n’ roll champs the Cosmic Psychos. All I know/remember about the
Psychos is that they were big in the 80’s,
and they had a thing for football. Or wrestling. And I think they sounded
like a punk AC/DC. Or like the Saints. Anyway, given my relative ignorance
of the subject matter, I can’t say how well these 4 tracks hold up when
compared to the originals, but…well, Sloggy – who are from Luxembourg! –
do a pretty acidic space-rock thing on “Lost Cause”, and they really lay
into a nasty, nauseous groove with it. If you ever had a drug turn on you
in a key moment, then you will really FEEL this one. Superhelicopter LTD
are German, but may very well have some Swedish blood in ‘em (or on ‘em),
cuz they do the big-time arena sleaze sound on “Down on the Farm”
like…fuck, like a Super Hellacopters. Bad ass. No wonder they ignored my
request for a demo last year, the fuckers don’t even need my help. On the
flip, the Mormones (from Norway) lay down a noisy bed of fuzzed-out garage
slop that sounds kinda like empty suitcases being thrown down a flight of
stairs. Underneath the howling and scraping, it’s “Alright Alright”. But
they’re pretty far from alright, if ya ask me. Finally, my old Belgian
pals the Bad Preachers turn “Custom Woman” into a flamethrowing cock n’
roll scorcher with a sudden descent into stoner-fuzz rawk. Righteous.
I don’t think you have actually be a Psychos fan to dig this quartet of
dirty Euro-trash ditties, but I’m sure it helps. Either way, if you like
yr rock ugly and sick, then it’s ON, baby. Lo-Lite
Bonus, part 1: The songs sound ok at either speed. Different, but ok. It’s like having 4 songs for the price of two. Bonus, part 2: This is easily the thickest slab of vinyl I’ve
ever seen. It looks like a big black stack of pancakes. The Answer Lies/Ten Seconds To Lift Off
First up is Ten Seconds to Lift Off, who play catchy, trashy punk rock n’ roll that’s fast and furious and hook-filled. The mix on these tracks is fuckin’ crazy – the vocalist sounds like he’s desperately trying to get away from the rest of the band- but the songs have an energetic teenage bounce to ‘em, and their whole vibe reminds me of Repo Man, for some reason, so what the hell. On the flip, the Answer Lies thrash out three short, sharp hardcore punk tracks. In a different world, they’d be a Mystic Super Seven band, easy. A little on the rough side, but I reckon that’s the idea. If you have any inclination at all to wear a dog collar, or know what
pomade is, than I bet you’ll like this. Hedgecreep - buncha songs
The Earaches
The Mutants
Well, I dunno, I lost the cheat sheet. It probably explained it in
there. What I do know is that the Muties have once again graced us with a
two-fisted dose of totally fucking suave jungle exotica-meets spy smasher
crime jazz, and they are so goddamn hep that if I DID own a fez, I’d put
it on. And honestly, can you imagine me wearing a fez? That’s pretty hep,
you must admit. Can I have an “Ungawa!” brothers and sisters? Sloggy – 4 songs
By the way, if you Google Sloggy, you get this awesome underwear site!
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-Sleazegrinder |
Lo-Lite are Dutch blues duo. They’re kinda like the Lee County Killers,
only without the hillbilly-voodoo-hoodoo vibe. There’s one original tune
on here, “Gravity”, which sounds like a scarecrow accidentally lighting
himself on fire, and one Willie Dixon cover, “Mellow Down Easy”, which
sounds like the funeral march for said scarecrow. 
I have not had the pleasure of reading Dirt Culture zine, but I have
certainly been accused of wallowing in dirty ‘culture’ more than once, so
I’m sure it’s boss, Tweed. This is the first release from Dirt Culture’s
record label, and it showcases two of the punkinest punk rock bands in
DC’s hometown, Los Cruces, New Mexico. So let’s dance. 
Hedgecreep
is a fantastic band name. Hedgecreep! You can see it, right?
Some sweaty dude behind the bushes at the park, peeping at rollerskating
teenies through cokebottle glasses. Awesome. Hedgecreep (the band) is from
Memphis, and they play fuzzy, dizzy, Sleestack-motherfucker drug rock.
It’s like mud between your toes, only for your ears. It’s like being drunk
at ten in the morning, with the sun beating down on you, and some guy you
don’t even know yelling at you about crazy shit for like, ten minutes
straight. Killer. Of course, I can see lotsa lazy rock journos tossing
around Melvins references when the subject of Hedgecreepin’ comes up, but
I tell ya, I can’t listen to that hippy goof-doom gunk for more than 30
seconds without leaving the room, yet I have worn this ‘un (especially the
cartoon fuck-fizz of “Cop Song”) down to the nub all night long, so
please, ignore the fuckin’ critics. Well, except for me. Hedgecreep will
give you the best rash ever, man.
The Earaches are from Washington (the state). They look like a
bunch of aging
troublemakers, and they like to play rock n’ roll. I’m pretty sure “Too
Hot to Taste” really is about something hot, because those are the only
lyrics – “Owww! Too hot!” These lines are shouted over a raucous garage rawk ruckus that’s equal parts
Sonics, Sex Pistols, and whoever did the Munsters theme. It’s a real party, jack. “Freedumb Fries” mines similar
territory, ‘cept that it’s more pissed off (“You are not my president!”)
and actually sounds a little evil. And evil is good. Bitchin’
frizzle-frazzle guitar solo, too. A pretty fun single, especially if you
also think bedspins are a riot.
Says it’s the “original soundtrack”, but to what? To a riot on the
Sunset Strip? To a Malaysian softcore women in prison flick? Or is it
merely the tribal, pulse-pounding, panther riding “mental beat” whirring
away in our own thick skulls that fellow Fins Hanoi Rocks once warned us
about? 
It turns out that Sloggy (again, from Luxembourg!) are a brother and
sister duo. They play blasto pop and no-fi fuzzpunk with a cheeseball drum
machine thwacking way in the background. The chick sings, mostly “please
me squeeze me” kinda stuff, and the overall effect is somewhere between
the hypnotic narco-pop of Frenchies Stereo Total and the greasy drag
racing fizz n’ roll thrills of Big Stick. If yr thinking dune buggies and
clambakes, then you got yr head on straight. All 4 tracks were, of course,
recorded in their living room. The cute police may take them away soon,
but for now, let’s hear it for the most heavily tattooed Carpenters
tribute ever!