The Spades are tough as nails punk n' rollers from Amsterdam who are firmly entrenched in the Chuck Berry-Johnny Thunders- Motorhead-Dwarves axis of evil. Sure, I realize that those are all basically the same band, just with varying degrees of snarliness, and so do the Spades. They're not trying to re-invent the wheel or nothin', they're just looking to drive that well-worn fucker down the demon highway in serial killer style. Forgive my typically Yank-bred ignorance of other cultures, but I didn't even know they had black guys in the Netherlands, never mind 5 of them to fuel a death-defying motorpunk band, but The Spades take their name literally, in a self-effacing sort of way, and it's been a long time, since Sound Barrier or The Dirty Rats or Znowhite, or hell, since early 80's Clevo headbangers Black Death even, that an afro-centric rock band has stepped up to show their lily-white brethren how it's done. And how it's done is with speed, ferocity, and an (un)healthy dose of GG Allin-esque misogyny. If the songs don't outright start with "This song's about killin' your woman" than they at least mention smacking her around a little. Of course, I've never been to Amsterdam; maybe those chicks deserve it. Besides all the bitch slap rapping, the Spades cocaine tongues even stretch for a little NYC cop bashing, or maybe just rampant sado-masochism, in the entirely over the top "Beat Me", which not only mentions shoving sticks up people's asses, but has a rousing chorus that goes, "Rape me, I fucking like it!" Over a Dead Boys riff, no less. Like I said, tough as nails. Fans of full tilt danger rock would be wise to just take the album title's advice and bow down to the almighty Spades before they have to come after you.
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*Note: This one was an easy call, seeing as I reviewed it the first time it came out, in the summer of 2002, on Netherlands label Suburban. Ain’t nothin’ changed, man. Oh, except that it turns out the Spades are actually white dudes (are ol’ pal Tony Slug was in the band for awhile), so the cover scheme was just an Amsterdamned ruse. The record still kicks ass, tho, and even better, the American versh has 4 rip-roaring bonus tracks, produced by Seattle legendmaker Jack Endino.