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DOGSHIT BOYS
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 You
know, sometimes living in the USA can be a drag. You turn on the TV, read
the newspaper, listen to the radio, and all you ever hear is the vapid
opinions of disgusting, plastic-faced rich people. Angelina Jolie’s
considerable fuckability has somehow been raised to glimmering deity
status; half-retarded ‘tv journalists’ brag about owning their own fuckin’
islands, and the president is so rich he can apparently just kill anybody
he wants. It’s really quite alarming, and you can’t escape it. You can
only find safe, healthy alternatives. And while the Dogshit Boys
are neither safe nor healthy, they are most definitely the anti-Angelina
Jolie. These Finnish psychopaths shave their heads, wear ill-fitting
women’s clothes, cut themselves to bloody shreds with razor blades, and
play creepy death-punk songs about pussy and the devil, sometimes in their
own tongue, which has got to be one of the most ungainly languages in all
of the civilized world. Seriously, take the awesomely titled “Chinese
Democracy” for a spin, and you’ll forget all about hurricanes and
escalating gas prices and whether one of the Olson twins is fucking one of
the jackasses from Jack Ass. You’ll be too involved in the
filth-encrusted Sabbath/Sex Pistols riffs and Lasse’s
crazy accent and demonoid asteroids and Dracula. You will be blinded by
their relentless Flashrock, and it will suddenly hit you – the beautiful
people are just mutants, just shiny nothings. The rest of us, the real,
living breathing humans, are ugly, demented savages who just wanna eat,
drink, and fuck our way to oblivion. The Dogshit Boys, you see, are the
truth. Can you handle the truth? Are you ready for Chinese
Democracy?
Me neither, but the record still rocks like crazy. And I do mean CRAZY. ________________________________________________________ |
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-Sleazegrinder |