Well, since there’s only about 3 weeks left to go and it doesn’t look like Chinese Democracy is going to happen by then, I’m just gonna go ahead and declare “Dirty Gospel” the BEST FUCKING ROCK N' ROLL ALBUM OF THE YEAR. In fact, I wish I hadn’t used up all my best lines years ago (dude, you can only write “This record is better than teenage pussy” once, believe me), because I’d slather this review with ‘em. In essence, the “Dirty Gospel” is one the hardest rocking albums I have EVER heard, and certainly the most chest thumping slab of revelry since Crystal Pistol’s two-demo assault in 2003. It is pure adrenalized supersoul, baby, a great sonic belching filled with swagger and glory and fiery redemption. Every track is a psalm, a reverential ode to the great and mighty Beast that is rock n’ roll, and the Brown simply do NOT let up on the hypersonic proselytizing until you are either a convert, a sworn and lifelong enemy of the ROCK, or fuckin’ dead. And any one of those is alright with the boys.

But what do the Divine Brown sound like? Like all your favorite bands, of course*, only in better threads. Or more accurately, they sound like the devil, if the devil had a church, and this church had a congregation of like, nympho cheerleaders and pop-eyed serial murderers and all of James Brown’s bastard sons and YOU, and that church was on FIRE, and nobody cared, because the FIRE was not gonna kill, it was gonna cleanse, purify, make many as one. Yep, they sound like that. Only louder. And this record? Well, this was all they could find in the ashes. A holy relic.

Brother, are you down with the Brown?