|
THE ROTTEN FRUITS
“Abomination”
Criminal IQ
Records
4 song 7”
www.rottenfruits.com
 I had the hardest fucking time with this record.
First, the hole in the record was too small, so I had
to ram it down to make it fit. Then it was too tight
and the record wouldn’t spin, so I had to wiggle it
around to get some revolution. (It was kind of like
fucking a virgin, but not nearly as exciting.) Second,
I couldn’t figure out what speed to play it on, as
“The Rotten Fruits Theme” sounds just as bad at 45 as
it does on 33 1/3. “A Bomb In A Nation” was better,
kind of raunchy and fun, but “Skinhead Boys”, which
I’m pretty sure was supposed to be funny in a
pseudo-ska way, was just stupid and irritating. And
“Backroom Love” sounded like they were trying too hard
to be raw and sleazy. I was intrigued by this record
because the band advertise themselves as “Chicago’s
favorite drunken faggots”, and the cover art depicts
the four band members (Germ, Liz, Ears, and Rabbit) as
gay-ed up cartoon characters, but, in all honesty, the
sleeve is about as much fun as this record gets.
THE ARMED SUSPECTS
“O’Farrells”/”Bottle of Whiskey”
Pirates Press Records
2 song 7” split
On the flipside of the banana/cherry popsicle record are a couple of songs
by Orange County’s Armed Suspects. They advertise themselves as an
anti-racist
punk band, which is cool. They do not, however, mention anything about
being an anti-violence punk band. Which is also cool, because, after
listening to these songs, I found myself in the mood for a good
old-fashioned knuckle-buster. Which, I think, might be what “O’Farrells”
is about-it was kind of hard to
tell. But, trust me, with hooks this catchy, indiscernible lyrics really
don’t matter. So throw this record on and come meet me in the alley. And
don’t forget your bat.
THE PERVS
“I Don’t Care”/”I’m Not the One”
Pirates
Press Records
2 song 7” split
www.thepervz.com,
www.myspace.com/thepervz
Damn, these Pirates Press Records look cool. This one
is a killer combination of orange, red, and black. It
would make a great pair of shiny vinyl thigh-high
boots. I could wear them with fishnets and a
miniskirt…Oh shit, sorry, this is supposed to be about
the music. Okay, so this offering from The Pervz (they’re from Las Vegas, which makes sense to me) is
gritty and sexy and nihilistic and it rocked me like a
car door to the face.
THE RATCHETS
“Heart of Town”/”77a Broadway”
Pirates
Press Records
2 song 7” split
www.theratchets.com
 If you flip The Pervz over, you’ll find The Ratchets,
a band from Asbury Park, New Jersey, who are just as
sexy as The Pervz, in my humble estimation. Lead
vocalist, Jed Engine, has a wicked raspy, almost
breathless-sounding voice that, to be honest, made me
a little wet. And when he started singing about how he
shot his pistol in the heart of town, well, I got a
little wetter. Throw in some super-sexy guitar work, a
killer beat, a handful of rebel attitude, and a little
homage to The Clash, and you’ve got yourself one happy
girl. I gotta go - I need a towel.
BOUNCING SOULS
“Night Train”/”The Guest”
Pirates
Press Records
2 song 7” split
www.bouncingsouls.com
They’re from New Jersey, they play punk music, and
they are pretty good. This is what I had heard about
the Bouncing Souls without ever having actually heard
them. And then I heard them…I’ll start with “Night
Train”-the song is called “Night Train” but it opens
with a Leader of the Pack motorcycle sound effect.
Weird. Not to mention slightly incongruous. The vocals
border on bland and, with lyrics like “Good-bye to me
and you/Good-bye to the life we knew”, well, it’s all
just a little too emo for me. And, speaking of
incongruity, I’m pretty sure that the cacophony that
is “The Guest” doesn’t even qualify as a song. Maybe
this record is a grower. But I doubt it.
THE LUCKY STIFFS
“Wish You Well”/”Cheers”
Pirates
Press Records
2 song 7” split
www.theluckystiffs.com,
www.myspace.com/theluckystiffs
San Francisco’s Lucky Stiffs create what they call
“omni-punk”, a genre-spanning offshoot of punk and
rock and roll, and this record offers a couple of
examples of this. “Wish You Well” is a pretty decent
rock and roll song; it opens with some drumstick beats
and a guitar slide (I am a big fan of guitar slides),
rocks solidly along in a Tom Petty-ish way through a
great chorus (“Say goodnight/What an awful way to
die”), and finishes off with some wicked harmonizing
(I am a big fan of harmonizing). “Cheers” is more
manic punk than straight-up rock, but Greg, Sean,
Aaron, and the Pope switch the tempo in the most
delicious way so that, just as I’m finding my
thrashing-around groove (see The Riverboat Gamblers),
I have to slow it down to something closer to a 50’s
sock-hop motion. Fan-fucking-tastic. (The song ends
with one of the guys making a retching sound, which,
now that I think about it, could be the inspiration for the vinyl, which is printed with a sort of Jackson
Pollock neon-paint splatter effect.) Very fun.
The Black Romeos
“Zombie Invasion USA”/”River Song”
Pirates Press Records
2 song 7” split
www.myspace.com/theblackromeos
 I liked this record a lot. And not only because the
vinyl reminded me of mint ice cream. (Another record I
want to lick. Hmm.) “Zombie Invasion USA” is dark and
trashy and fun, like a classic horror movie in music
form, and it passed the Holly danceability test with
flying dead-zombie body parts (aka colours). And
“River Song” seduced me with its killer groove and
boyish high energy punk. If these New York Romeos ever
find themselves lacking in the Juliet department, I’m
their girl. (Incidentally, their myspace headline
reads: “WHERES THE MUTHA FUCKIN SUICIDE AT?” - no points
for spelling or grammar, but 10 points for the
Shakespeare connection, as I’m pretty sure these boys
probably think Shakespeare directs movies. That’s
okay, though, because sometimes mindless fun is, you
know, fun.)
________________________________________________________ |