The Orphans – Everybody Loves You When You’re Dead (Unity Squad)
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The Orphans may or may not have copped the title of this ‘un from the song of the same name by early 80’s UK glam-goofs the Babysitters (if ya think about think about the names of both bands, that’s pretty fuckin’ funny), but irregardless, it made me THINK of the ‘Sitters, which is always a sure-fire good mood. Thanks, Orphans. ‘Course, their versh of the “Everybody Loves You…” routine ain’t about the price of fame, but about killin’ yrself cuz yr bored. They’re punks, see. Snotty, bratty, girl-fronted punk rock from Long Beach, in fact. She-screamer Miss Jenny has the perfect slurred yelp of an authentic bad girl, and her rag-tag group of skinny-dudes-with-guitars give her a nice, high-energy cling-clang to run amuck in. So, uh, buncha 2 minute blasts of teenage fuck-power here, with just a tinge of girl-group bounce, lotsa yelling about dying young, and “You’re So Vain” is NOT a Carly Simon cover. Usually, Orphans end up being porn stars, so I reckon punk rock is a step up for these motherless children. Good for them. Anyway, if ya dig catchy speed-punk junk ALA Briefs, Spits, Tirades, and pre-glam metal Donnas, toss this ‘un in your backpack before you sneak out yr mamas window. It’ll probably make the perfect companion for that 3 AM greyhound bus to nowhere fast.
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