The first thing that blows you away when you hear the SUBSTITUTES is how fucking unbelievably raunchy the guitar sound is. Displaying their cultural affinities with Warhol and the Beatles, I guess I was expecting something cutsier - more along the line of like, Star Spangles, or some skinny tied bash 'n' pop. The album cover's deceptive. What I got instead of some smirking, artsy fartsy hipster pop band ala Kings Of Leon, or Beachwood Sparks, or something, was this absolute monster of a record that grooves like the Cult's Electric, or the first cuppla Danzig albums, when Chuck Biscuits played drums. If yer jonesin' to see that Four Horsemen DVD like I am, but ain't got the bread to shell-out for it, yet, believe me, the SUBS are right up your smashed alley. This is merciless sleaze rock the likes I ain't heard since, oh, geez, at least, FAT NANCY. The Substitutes kick ass.

If yer pissed off about the state of the world around you, and your thankless, work-a-day life ain't goin' nowhere, and you really yearn to hear some really primo, authentic, hard hitting rock'n'roll chock fulla nail spitting bluster, lizardskin machismo, been-there tales from the dark side of Tinsel Town, songs about fucking for motherfuckers, 70's hard rock crunchiness, amazing guitar lines, a singer with his own identity, unflinchingly brutal lyrics, and a powerhouse rhythm section, accept no substitute for the SUBSTITUTES.

These guys are so much heavier than the new Buck Cherry, as to make it seem kinda lite-weight and powder-puff, in comparison, and I dig that record. This kinda music can get cats like me in trouble. Don't play this CD in your car - it's too dangerous - somebody could seriously get injured....and whatever you do, don't let these cats anywhere NEAR your girlfriend. THE SUBSTITUTES are putting their own property patch on the pasty ass of bloated rawk culture. Making a real valid contribution. Serving as a threat by example. Funky and ferocious flash metal likely to bring out the ugly animal part of you, if you still drink, or do drugs. Vocalist BRITT, who somehow also plays bass, has got, hands-down, the most distinctive voice and indomitable spirit of anybody who's donned the leather trou and whiskey bottle in a long, long time. Elephant's balls blister rock the likes I ain't heard for too many years. This is really exceptionally potent, excruciatingly well-executed, explosively original-sounding, dynamite music from nightmare land, that's guaranteed to blow your mind.