Ok folks, its night of the living segue..........look busy.

It's funny when a band changes their style a little bit per CD to keeps thing moving along, trying keep things interesting and fresh, (or changing it because they are bored with what they are doing at that point. Just ask Sisters Of Mercy about that...well, maybe don't), the throngs of teeming steamy masses, the so called 'underground persuasion' of whatever music that the band is part of pull a "Wow, they changed so much since their last CD," type of deal, like clockwork. Of course, many  of 'em never even bothered to listen to the last CD, and just got their info from other people telling them about it. The new CD that is. You following me on this?

But does it really matter at this point? If it's not some armchair intellectual who corrects people online for spelling, (and recites Shakespeare and Nietzsche when he does a music review for a fucking Cannibal Corpse CD,) or the people who think they're Vikings (who would, or course, be the first ones tossed off the ship, in reality) or whoever, but lately HOF are getting labeled with this...this so-called 'new term' I keep hearing.  You ready for this? Thinking man's metal. Who thought up that line? Oh joy. For the most part, the music (AKA doom, stoner, space metal, etc) is a place that I really feel at home with musically, and it did open my mind up to alot of different things that I am very thankful for, and helped pull me through many tough times, but that fucking term, sorry. No, this is not happening. So now I have to be a bad guy about this. Ok, Mr. too smirking long beard guy. Hate to break it to you like this. Listen closely to what I'm about to say to you. And listen closely, because it will only be said once. Being clever to the wrong guy does not make you look smart, it makes you look like a condescending pussy who never got his ass kicked once in his entire fucking life. Thanks for trying to take the fun out of a good thing. You did not succeed. Seriously, even this so called 'thinking man's metal' bit is getting a bit old. And I don't care about how much you love the newest jazzed-out grindcore  "I play while standing on top of my head" child molester from Japan, you still jerk off alone and in the dark to your hidden pile of Manowar CD's in private were no one can see you, but we know you do it so stop being such a fucking pussy and admit to it. Remember what Paul Bearer once said, "We all have our crosses to bear". Thankfully, (and I use that word alot around here), there is more than enough good shit out there to keep the fuckwads from totally ruining the party. 

What's that you saying to me? I can't hear you from over there in la la land. I'm ranting? Really now. Ok. What am I suppose to be doing right now Mr. The Strokes are going to save rock and roll from itself? Oh. I'm suppose to be writing a review now. I'm sorry, oh precious one. Sorry to waste your fucking time. What happened? I drifted. Here it is. But I have to warn you. It's a little wry around the edges. And It goes something like this..

High on Fire's newest CD Blessed Black Wings sounds like if you dumped a huge pile of sex toys on the underage pregnancy part of the girls juvenile detention center, and ran for the hills, wearing a kilt. (Such a place probably does not exist, but if it does, I'm really sorry for giving out false info.  And for your information, the kid's not mine, so be gone.)  It's an uprising epidemic, that is just waiting to explode in a state of unacceptable behavior. But as you are running, you see them chasing you riding a Viking ship that they stole from those kids in the Burzum shirts. No seriously, they are. Nothing can stop them. Bombs, tanks, guns. they are like toys against them. The only thing that stops them is with the combined efforts of a bunch of countries, they build a giant rocket, lure them with fire, and trap them all inside the rocket and send them off to Mars. Will you be able to visit them? Yes, but you need to grow up and become an astronaut and go to Mars. 

Your probably saying right now amongst yourselves, "what the hell is this fucking cretin talking about?" I have I probably lost you by now. Again.  But good, I'm not here for your amusement, I'm here for mine. This is pleasure, damn it, and I'm enjoying myself every step of the way. And right now, these guys are assaulting audiences and pissing off the wookie kids that suddenly got hooked on the vibe of Clutch's forays into jam rock with thundering Mastadon-ian Goodness cranking the low end to the point of no return. Motorhead, Venom, Celtic Frost, and  Killer's CD Wall Of Sound comes to mind as High On Fire lay down enough musical tribal-rific cacophony to choke a small army, (or a big one. I'm starting to run out of ideas since the screen is now going double) along with their own trademark sound, which has been getting heavier and heavier every release. Heck, even the track Silver Black reeks of a head-on collision with their token riffage and early crust Discharge like drumming.  I'm sure allot of you are not getting what I'm saying so on that note, I'm going to simplify it to the simplest terms so that all understand it. You ready for this? Ok.

"Dude, you got thrash metal in my stoner rock."

"Grrr, you got stoner rock in my thrash metal."

"Hey wait, they taste great together."

The war drags forever on.