BLACK FURIES
Death Trip Saturday Night
Gearhead

I was screwing around at work (as usual) while listening to the Black Furies’ CD, and trying to come up with something positive to say about it, because I did like the album on principle – the San Francisco-based plug uglies sling Supersuckers-style muscle car rock that’s bulging to overflow with stadium-sized power riffs and lyrics about blacking out and throwing punches around and other earmarks of the American dirtbag lifestyle. And that’s pretty much our stock and trade here at Sleazegrinder.com, but you know, there’s something about the Black Furies’ music that doesn’t go beyond lip service to other bands that pull off this kind of tuneage with a lot more verve than these guys do. There’s not a lot of variety on the 12 tunes on Death Trip Saturday Night (and boy, that’s a great title, which gave me another reason to find a few kind words about the disc) – it’s straight-ahead stomp from start to finish, but you know, repetition can only carry you so far – after a while, you gotta throw some variation into the stew. Even sex with Jenna Jameson will start to be a king-sized drag if you don’t put a little zazz into the mix, and I guess that’s what’s missing from the Black Furies’ brew. It’s rockin’, to be sure, but beyond the riffs and the hobnail boots, there’s not much to chew on.

But you know, maybe you don’t give a good goddamn about zazz or whatever other dopey terms I can come up with. Maybe you just want a steady four-on-the-floor beat and grimy guitars and hoarse-throated singers howling about how everything turned to shit. Well, you’ll get it here, amico mio.

In fact, while I was surfing porn sites on my company’s dime, I came across an ad that pretty much sums up the payoff on Death Trip Saturday Night. It was a banner for the Fleshlight – a painful-looking contraption that basically replaced the bulb end on an industrial-sized flashlight with a pair of fleshy latex lips, with the idea being that a fella would insert his dick into said lips and go to town. The Fleshlight people are so sure you’ll enjoy this seemingly traumatic experience that they branded the ad with a terrific tagline: “Your Cock Will Love This!” And you know, I can’t speak for the Fleshlight, but I think your cock will probably have a pretty damn good time with the Black Furies – it’s straight-ahead, no fuss-no-muss rock and roll aimed straight at your gut and points south. And hey, you don’t even have to unzip your pants to enjoy it.
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-Paul Gaita