Let’s say Kate Bush and Cyndi Lauper decided to get into the murder business. They pack up their House of Dark Shadows dresses and Manic Panic hair dye, and move into the oldest, spookiest house in your town, and start making creepy little dolls to lure the children who wander past on their way home from school. And when they’d gotten the kids into the house, and drained their blood with an infernal device of their own making, they would put on a little musical performance for their new “friends” (once a singer, always a singer, ya know?).

Think for a minute about what those songs might sound like. Probably very innocent lyric-wise, all about kittens and nervous sea monsters and circuses and cookies and dollies with plastic smiles, right? But the music itself… oh, that would be something else entirely, wouldn’t it? Lots of echoes and drum beats from the dark basement, and swooping, swooning strings and clanking, clanging things (bells? coins? bottles? bones?), all sounding at the same time, though you can’t quite see the gloved hands that are playing them. Because it’s so dark.

And then add to that Kate and Cyndi’s voices – little girls who can summon up great, big, operatic wails, only they’re not just having fun or running up that hill this time. No, now they’re singing about ghosts and skeletons, and sometimes about choking people, and other times about wandering out into the cold, cold snow with your kittie and meeting some witches, and what happens after that. Hearing those voices, and that music, as your young life ebbed away into an ornate glass jar, well, it might be a little frightening, but also more than a little soothing, no? Just the sort of thing to put you right to sleep. For good.

I’m gonna be perfectly frank and admit that the Tuna Helpers’ sophomore CD scared the hell out of me. They’re from Austin, Texas, and highlight their live shows (which are apparently pretty popular) with sign language and puppets and other props, which must make their fairytale freakouts even more hair-raising. So if you’re gonna check out I’ll Have What She’s Having (and I think you should),  keep the lights on.