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Thor |
 I
don’t really have the words to adequately describe this CD to you. If I
did, I might not ever STOP writing about it. This "Rock Odyssey"
makes Danzig's rock opera "Black Aria" look like fuckin'
South Pacific. It makes “Tommy”
look like the work of sane, drug-free men. It is CRAZED and from
outer space, and it is quite clearly a masterpiece. “Beastwomen from the Center of the Earth” began life as a comic book. Thor collaborated with renowned fantasy artist Mick Hoffman on this bizarre tale of Thor’s descent into the Earth’s molten core, where the Amazonian were-women live, under the oppressive heel of…well, I dunno all the details, but Thor frees the Beastwomen, and enjoys the sweet nectar of victory in exactly the way you would expect to, when you free Amazon slave girls from their oppressors. I have seen the comic book, man, and it’s a hell of thing. However, you cannot ROCK OUT to a comic book, and Thor is a rocker. So’s Hoffman, it turns out, who plays a rather bitchin’ hard rock gee-tar. Together (and with an array of guest Canucks/warriors of steel, including legendary axeman Frank Soda, and Squidgirl herself, Ani Kyd), they have created this towering ode to chicks and sword fights, full of headbanging cock rock, and symphonic prog-metal, and well, showtunes.  Don’t
get me wrong, tho, it’s all MANLY –it’s Thor, for Chrissakes
– but it’s still an opera, man. Highlights? Where do I start? Thor
does a remake of “The Sleeping Giant” from his ’78 debut, “Keep
the Dogs Away”, only this time he opens up with some spoken word:
“Glassy eye is moist and cold…”, and the previously 50’s inspired guitar
lick has been transformed into a Queens of the Stoneage-style
rubber drugriff. Fuckin’ magical. Then there’s the thunderous meathammer
sex rock of opener “Break the Ice”, with a weirdo, Alien Sex
Fiend synth, 80’s sleaze-metal drums, and Thor singing like
Ming the Merciless about being “Chained and bound on a wolf-drawn
sleigh”. Then there’s the slinky biker rawk of the self-aggrandizing “Hail
Thor” (“I am Thor/Rock Warri-orrr!”) and the psychedelic Beatles-esque/Bowie
madness of (I swear) “Mushroom World” (“Here I walk in this strange
world of mushrooms and tadpoles…”) and, well, it goes on like that for 13
tracks. To be honest with you, I have little-to-no idea what any of it
means, and I’m pretty sure that goes for everyone involved, ‘cept maybe
for the God of Thunder himself, but one thing’s for certain, you
have never heard anything like this in yr life. Word has it that
Thor’s next magnum opus will feature the Streetwalkin’ Cheetahs
as his backing band, so he’s going back to more straight ahead rock n’
roll from here, but don’t miss this one, man. When the Gods go mad,
they make a glorious and awe inspiring noise, indeed. ______________________________________________________ Click Here to buy Beastwomen from the Center of the Earth from Sleazegrinder for only $12! ______________________________________________________ |
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-Sleazegrinder |