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The Grannies |
 Sluggo,
who you may remember as the dude making Hullabaloo flyers at the
counter of Charrette in Harvard Square in 1988, or
possibly as the guy who runs San Fran superrock dealers
Wondertaker Records (formerly Dead Teenager records, formerly
the home of Dirty Power), has a rip-snorting punk n’ rollin’ band
of his own, The Grannies. They are called the Grannies ‘cuz that’s
how they dress, see, in over-sized flower-print house dresses and
old-folks make-up and white wigs, and like, walkers and canes and shit.
There is no good reason for this, so honestly, don’t try and suss it out.
It’s simply the worst band gimmick since a buncha Christian puffballs
dressed up like bumblebees, and believe me, the Grannies KNOW it,
it’s just too fuckin’ late to stop now. Of course, you can’t actually
HEAR how they’re dressed when yr listening to this record, so mebbe
forget everything I just said, for this album will kick yr wrinkly old ass
halfway across the bingo hall. Eschewing the speed-trial flail of their
previous outings, on “Erected Ladyman” (ha ha!), the Grannies
toss in all manner of great rock n’ roll song – ya get the bitchin’
Twin-Tone-esque roots n’ roll of the (swear to Christ) touching
pseudo-ballad “The Wrong Song”, the 70’s thunderboogie express of “Drainpipe”,
the Dolls-y swagger-glam of “Teenage Kicks”, the Motor City
meltdown of biker-scuzzfest “Crime Still Pays” - and lotsa fast n’
nasty stabs of punk-ass speed rock in between. Best of all, regardless of
what mode they’re in, whether it’s sincere rock revivalists or snotty,
tranny-granny punk rock assholes, they lay on the hooks and the howls and
the cock-rockin’ guitar solos like…like they’re not even dressed like
arthritic 70 year old broads at all. Trust me on this one, as soon as the
nurse is done giving you a sponge bath, tell her to get you a copy of this
record. It’s almost as good as those awesome big blue pills they give you
whenever you get caught jerking off in the TV room. ____________________________________________________ |
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-Sleazegrinder |