Ape Has Killed Ape- Another Fraudulent Hoax

It’s 4 AM as I write this, and although I’m sure it’s the sleep deprivation talking, I think that I have finally come to understand the formerly inscrutable Ape Has Killed Ape. Suddenly, lines like “I bin hearing in black and white, I bin seeing in mono” make all the sense in the world. You see, AHKA aren’t like you and I, walking around in the sun, breathing air and drinking water, or whatever it is we do. No, they are not human. They are more than human, yet less than ape. They are strange, ephemeral creatures that exist only in the deep folds of our semi-consciousness, who swim into our brains like parasitic worms in a cesspool when we least expect it and whisper in our ears from the inside, telling us all manner of dark and terrible things. They are brilliant abominations who pop like balloons and disappear whenever rational thoughts seep into focus. Of course, this does not explain why the CD is still sitting here at when I awake at 8 AM, peeling my face off of the desk and wiping the drool off my chin. That part I haven’t figured out yet.

I’m not sure what the Fraudulent Hoax they refer to in the title is, although maybe this review has something to do with it. What I can tell you for certain is that if that Beck joker was some awful fish creature with poisoned spines sticking out of his neck, well he wouldn’t be so fuckin’ cute then, would he? If he did have a spiny neck and gills, and could still play a guitar, he would sound like Ape Has Killed Ape. Except for the parts where they sound like Jim Thirwell lost in a low-rent funhouse. Or when they just sound like drunken assholes with megaphones. This two man wrecking crew of swirling psychedelic madness would be the most evil band on the planet, if they actually existed. Whew. Good thing this whole episode is just a hallucination. Otherwise we’d really have problems.