Avenged Sevenfold - Sounding the Seventh Trumpet
(Hopeless) www.hopelessrecords.com

Seeing as how most of the bands on Hopeless are indie rock, emo, hardcore, or some combination thereof, and seeing as how Avenged Sevenfold are comprised of various members of the above bands in pseudonymous alter-egos, and seeing as how the press release claims that the band will appeal to fans of both Skid Row and Pennywise, which is like saying that you dig fried chicken and coffee, I'm as suspect of Avenged Sevenfold's intentions as I am of the Tight Bros noise punk gone thunder boogie shtick, like it all might be some ruse, an elaborate joke at the longhairs' expense. If that's the case, then it's a drag, because Sounding the Seventh Trumpet is a motherfucker of metal record, effortlessly twisting through epic power metal and shrieking black metal and aggro stomp, sometimes all in the same song. With twin vocalists- one wailing away with the Cradle of Filth screeching pig-bitch routine, the other barking like a drunk horse- and masterful displays of axe slinging pyrotechnics, this is a jagged but epic rip ride all the way through. There's even the traditional power ballad midway, the piano driven "Warmness of the Soul" that sounds at least as heartfelt as "November Rain". Fucked if I know what's really going on here, but I'd be disappointed if they weren't on the level with this record. There's nothing wrong with being metal, you know. Maybe Avenged Sevenfold will go back to the land of back packs and grown up girls with barrettes in their hair after this is all over, but that would be a shame, because this is as 'Heavy Fucking Metal' as they say it is.