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Naming
your band after the bruised up
street walker that made a monkey outta
Hugh Grant is a pretty classy move, but going ahead and saving rock and
roll, too? Well, the Divine Brown has just got to be the
coolest band ever, right? Yep, close to it. Taking a cue from fellow
countrymen and swanksters Gold Blade, DB treat The Rock like
the Holy Scripture that it is; they are the apostles of supersoul, the
prophets of glitter punk, the crazy messiahs of deep-fried, bone rattling
rock and roll, and this one day wonder lays out the whole impossible mission
in 6 easy lessons . Despite the fact that it was tossed off in an afternoon,
everything about this EP is solid fuckin’ gold, man. Ya just can’t argue
with that sizzling guitar, scattering hellfire, salvation, and sexed-up,
triple speed T Rex riffs around like stardust, and who among us would
deny the undeniable truth inherent in sonic sermons like “Kranked up
Really High”, “Get Some Action”, or “I Got the Fire”?
Nobody would, ‘cuz you just know that if you had the fire, you’d be
strutting around and flaunting it, too. The DB’s got the revolution-speak
from the MC5, the drug-soaked adrenaline from the Pistols, the
sex and the power from Guns n’ Roses, and the impeccable dress sense
from James Brown, and they have turned these tried and true gimmicks
into something bigger and louder and more potent than we probably even
deserve, at this point. The Divine Brown are gonna drag your sorry ass
right down to the eternally flowing river of rock n roll and dunk your head
in until you are truly saved and sanctified, brothers and sisters. Sure,
it’s cock rock, but it’s cock rock from God, so you’d better just
repent before it’s too late.
I think this is the part where somebody says 'Amen'.
Amen, motherfuckers. |