Goathorn- Storming the Gates
(October 32nd)

Canadian doom-thrash powerhouse Goat Horn return to their thorny throne refined and streamlined with the ultra-mega “Storming the Gates”. This is the most shamelessly metal looking record I’ve seen since…well, since they still make metal records, ya know? A cartoon Goathorn cross the forbidden bridge of death on the way to the haunted castle on the cover, and they pass out over a keg at it’s gates on the back, one of ‘em wearing what looks like a Raven “Wiped Out” shirt from 1984. Course, I don’t think any members of Goathorn were even born in ’84. This has got to be one of the youngest old-school metal bands on the planet, but they are so well-versed in the history of headbanging that they sound like seasoned pros already. A lot of the noisy, electric sludge of their last release, “Voyage to Nowhere” a one-day wonder of massive doom n’ roll, has been cast aside here, in favor of a more straight-ahead power metal approach, with chugging Priest and Running Wild riffs, plenty of Maiden-esque bass galloping, and a shiny chrome aura of the ever-elusive “Thrash with class” ideal. Oh, it’s still detuned until the guitar strings are practically scraping the floor, don’t worry about that- you can still slit your wrists to Goathorn if ya want- it just seems that the plodding doom metal of their past efforts are quickly becoming a minor attraction, at best. What really strikes me about “Gates” is how accomplished this record sounds. Generally, heavy metal likes to leave the technical proficiency to the Euro-bands, preferring their (North) American metal to sound raw and bleeding; but Goathorn are obviously bucking the trend, ‘cuz they sound like fuckin’ Canuck Yngwies here. Of course, you have to be pretty fuckin’ metal to dig this- so, if you don’t have at least a couple Slayer and Destruction records in your collection (and why don’t ya? What are you, a pussy?), then you’ll just run for cover and wait ‘til the shelling stops; but if you dig your rock fast, heavy, and more than a little evil, this one’s gonna snap your neck right off it’s perch.