Hellz Army is a loose cabal of New York hardcore techno DJ's, who face off in a swirling bacchanal of violent, stuttering noise here, live and raw. Funny, but you can't hear a fuckin' peep from the crowd between tracks. They're all probably cowering in the corner. If you don't know by now, Hardcore Techno bears zero resemblance to that mindless rave-baiting car commercial muic that shares it's surname. No, this is nothing but ultra-distorted drum machines firing away like a renegade Panzer division, while the DJ's in question make lightning quick edits, tossing in all manner of horror movie and (equally horrifying) nightly news clips into the mix. Forget extreme metal, or powernoise, or industrial anything, because all that sounds like elevator muzak after hearing the likes of Tyrant, Nevermind, and DJ Tense do their damage. I foolishly took this one out on the road with me, and it literally gave me a screaming headache, a crimson welt of pain that lasted for hours. Now, you might see this as a detraction, but to me, it just means these fuckers know how to get the job done. Hardcore techno is not dance music, and if it's supposed to make you feel anything other then sheer terror, then maybe it's just the grand, sweeping possibility that there's something beyond rock and roll- a prickly, polluted no man's land where the machines bite back, and where only heroes and fools are brave enough to stumble into. It is the realm of the blackest of hearts, of serial killers with drum machines and staticky TV broadcasts as their only weapons, and if it didn't scare most people off within the first 30 seconds, it would change everything we know about music, for good. I realize that I'm not gonna convince everybody to take a trip to the dark side with the Apocalypse crew, but for the courageous few that do decide they've got the fortitude- and the Tylenol- to strap this crazy shit on and take it for an ugly joyride, I salute you. And I'll see you there, too. I know it's bad for me. I know that every time I slip this one on when company's around that I'm gonna end up estranged from my fellow man, who'll think I've gone completely 'round the bend when I rant and froth about how mind-blowing these unhinged slices of scumtronica truly are. Shit like that never stopped me from swilling vodka for breakfast for years, and it won't stop me now. Hardcore techno is not a genre, it's a disease, a sinister virus that eats the nervous system, frying it into crusty tatters. But goddamn, if it doesn't feel good while it's doing it. Hellz Army is coming down fast, so either join up now or run for cover, because this infection is spreading like wildfire, and no paper masks are gonna save you this time.