The Jackalopes- Jacksploitation

Goddamn. I’m a writer, so I’m sitting here like a sap, staring out the window as all manner of Bad Fun goes down all around me. I know my friends are out there somewhere, carrying on and laughing like hyenas, playing shows, breaking hearts, and busting noses. But not me, baby. Me, I gotta stay home and figure out how to best describe a band that you’ve already figured out, just by looking at the cover. I’ve tried penning rock and roll reviews in real-time, as I was screaming down the highway or caught in the sweaty, boozy confines of packed club, but all I ended up with was smeary nonsense and driving-to-endanger citations. So listen, I know exactly how good this one’s gonna sound when it’s out there in the wild, naked, unafraid, and smashing up the joint. The last place you wanna pop this into is in your fuckin computer, believe me. The music of the Jackalopes is the kind of revved-up, motorpunking, cow-tipping, trash and roll mania that’s perfect for drag races and all night voodoo parties and porn flicks starring rockabilly chicks with Betty Page bangs. The Jacks sound like Rock City Crimewave and the Misfits and Motorhead and the Supersuckers. They are sleazeball sonofabitches from the wilds of Dayton, Ohio. There’s been at least 66.6 members of the Jackalopes between 1999 and now, and they all show up on this comprehensive collection of all that was, is, and shall be. The big daddy Bossalope of ‘em all is Rev Chad Wells, the almost-legendary gig poster artist, ordained minister in the church of the Almighty Bad Ass, and all around rock and roll motherfucker, and he has lovingly gathered all these tracks from church vaults and dusty tombs and the Dayton police department evidence room. And of course, it rocks. That’s pretty much all you need to know here, brother. So go on, beat it, leave me to my lonesome, late-night scratchings. Just pick this one up and have a little fuckin’ fun for me, would ya? Man, I bet this sounds great with a backseat full of strippers and headful of bathtub chemicals. Drop me a line if you find out.