Necro-Tonz

Necro-Tonz - Are You Dead, Yet?

I remember that time that Harlem Greenwood drank the wrong drink and ended up dead for a few minutes before the adrenaline sparked him back to life. Later on, I asked what he saw when he was dead, if he went through a tunnel and all that jazz. "White light?!" He spat, incredulous. "There was no fuckin' white light, just a bunch of screaming and people throwing lit matches at me." I mention this true story from the other side because just like Harlem, The Necro-Tonz are dead lounge singers. Or at least they're practicing to be. Led by the lovely green skinned chanteuse Necrophilia, the N-Tonz are crusty tuxedo suited, corpsepainted entertainers of the mellow damned, soothing recently deceased nerves with smoky bossa nova and jazz-lite renditions of death-related hits like Alice Cooper's "I Love the Dead" and Type O Negative's "Black No. 1", and even the gloomy MASH theme, "Suicide is Painless". They also specialize in covering songs by performers that have already passed on to the other side, like Frank's "The Lady is a Tramp" and Jim's "Soul Kitchen". Not sure why "Cold Gin" is included, as I'm pretty sure Ace Frehley is still alive, although who knows what's going on under that greasepaint? At any rate, the Necro-Tonz are obviously the world's greatest death lounge band, and since you are, in fact, going to die someday, you might as well pick this up. Consider it practice for being dead-cool so that you don't look like a tourist when you finally get to Hell.